Disclaimer—One Piece and all associated characters ect belongs to Eiichiro Oda not me I just enjoy reading/watching it. Spoken dialogue belongs to him if it seems very familiar.

Not Beta'd or edited save spell checker—I am looking at profiles and have yet to decide who to PM and ask to edit for me. So, sorry about my spelling and grammar if I missed anything, I am crap at checking my own work. Feel free to tell me nicely if there is something that needs to be fixed, I will happily use your suggestions.

General: I have taken out any explicit language on . AO3 has the uncut version which I prefer. I am paranoid, but I also want to stay true to the fact that both the anime and manga characters are quite liberal with swearing.

They are pirates after all.

Specific notes on chapter at the end…

Law blinked in a daze at the metal ceiling. His mouth felt like he had eaten cotton mixed with burnt popcorn and his eyesight was blurred at the edges where it wasn't wobbling. The self-diagnosis came too slow and was almost unwillingly drawn out from the muddled slurry that was his thoughts.

That is…not good…I think…I have been…drugged…

He rolled over onto his side and instantly regretted it as a nearby light blinded him.

Oh…son of a…bright…add photosensitivity to symptoms…urggggh.

He clenched his eyes shut pressing his cheek against the cool metal he was laying on. Attempting to wet his dry lips with an equally dry tongue he contemplated his current state of being.

I am on the floor…how the hell did I end up on the floor?

Once the pain faded to a tolerable level he finished moving onto his stomach and slowly pushed himself onto his knees then lifted his leaden frame into a shaky stand. He stood unassisted for a short moment before his joints refused to support him and he stumbled. Only the fact he ran into a wall kept him from rejoining the floor. His fingertips dug into the metal and pipes for traction and he chanced opening his eyes again.

The world was tipped at an alarming angle and the blurriness hadn't gone away. His stomach was churning forcing him to swallow a mouthful of bitter bile. He took a slow deep breath.

Well…this is unpleasant…

A persistent din on the edge of his hearing drew his attention.

With slow unstable steps keeping a firm grip on the wall pipes he worked his way methodically toward the origin of the noise. As he did, the sound got louder and he could start to make out words.

It was singing.

"We alllllll live in a yellow submarine! We hate the stupid thing! We wannna paint it green! Weeeeeee all live in a yellow submarineeee! Yellowwwwwww submarineeee! Hoozah!"

For a moment Law just stopped out of pure incredulity. He recognized those voices.

What. The. Hell? He thought eyes narrowing in speculation.

He forced himself to the doorway and clasped the frame straitening as much as he could. Law felt a nerve in his temple begin to twitch as he was greeted with a scene that he would later do whatever he could to forget, though with little success.

I think…my eyes are going to melt, or perhaps my brain. He thought shaking his head and hoping it would go away.

The room was somewhat obscured through the cloud of sweetly-acidic smoke that clogged the air, but that was a blessing, as what Law could see of the walls was covered in strange circular symbols of every color of the rainbow. In the center of the room was the entirety of his crew grouped in a circle badly singing at the top of their lungs. What was worse was each and every one was wearing a strange combination of color-splotched clothes, sandals, and homemade headbands.

The one exception was Bepo who was missing his orange boiler suit and instead somehow managed to dye his fur in the colors the rest were wearing. It made the bear-man look absolutely ridiculous.

Penguin had somehow managed to locate a guitar along with a pair of orange sunglasses and was even playing the instrument with great enthusiasm.

More astoundingly was that he wasn't half bad at it, though his singing left a lot to be desired.

Law's grip on the door slackened somewhat and he slid to his knees.

What is wrong with me? How did I get drugged and what with? Looking at his crew he frowned. And not just me…they are obviously hallucinating…and now that I think about it…I am recalling some rather disturbing…memories myself.

Namely fragments of Technicolor flowers and spirals dancing around in a dizzying pattern of impossibility.

His stomach rolled in disagreement and his eyes shot wide with realization and instant later.

We were all affected…so we were all dosed at the same time…

"The food…" He breathed.

Something they had eaten had done this.

But what?

Their cook wasn't one who knew a great variety of dishes to prepare. He did his job well, but was more geared for nutrition, not taste. He never forgot to serve dishes that could be eaten without bread as per his captain's preference and was quite picky on his ingredients for a rule. But, mistakes could be made by anyone.

Law attempted to think of anything odd about the food they had consumed the night before.

They had been served chicken tempura with mixed vegetables, if he was recalling correctly. The chicken had been a nice change from fish, an acquisition from the island they had stopped at for supplies.

Someone poisoned our food? That's a bit low; even if we are pirates at least we paid for it. It's not like we causing trouble or terrorizing them for the hell of it. Law thought. Besides, Cook checks the supplies, as far as I know, for most of the common poisons. He even taste-tests his ingredients knowing I can treat him if he does poison himself. So what managed to get past him?

Law scored his mental library for something that fit the symptoms he was experiencing and seeing.

"Heyyyyy, Sha-chan? Where are the booooomers?" Penguin crooned striking a complicated chord.

Despite himself, Law choked on a laugh at the effeminate nickname for one of his most flirtatious crewmembers.

Wonder if he and Penguin are overcompensating rather than actually being interested in woman when we port… Law frowned when he realized he had gotten distracted on a tangent.

Shachi stood sway walking over to a burlap sack that sat on the ground and bent over to pick it up. He missed, grabbing at it several times and actually fell over in a sprawl of limbs before he managed a complicated maneuver to grasp the bag. Still on the floor he caterpillar crawled back to the circle deciding walking was out of his abilities at the moment.

"Bahdum! BahDum! I am a pretty little butterfly!Where is my hoooookah?!" He bellowed rejoining the circle.

Penguin leaned over and hit the other man in the head with the box of the guitar. Shachi looked up at him blinking once very slowly. A wide grin broke out on his face.

"HEeeey Peeeenguin…Hey you gotta try these…they are like…" He waved his hands around violently the bag flying out of his grasp and landing on his head. "You know?"

Penguin dug his hand into the bag and pulled out a handful of shriveled brown and blue objects. He shoved the handful in his mouth awkwardly, half of the objects missing their intended destination and falling around him. They didn't sit on the floor long as they were quickly snatched up by the other crewmembers and promptly eaten.

"Dude! I think I can like…you know fly or something! I mean look at these hands their all…cool. Like with fingers." One crowed.

"Superpowers!"

"HHAHAHAHaaaaa...yellow…why is the submeia…submaru…ship-thing yellow anyhow? That's like ah…you know…target?"

It took Law a moment to recognize the objects.

Mushrooms.

Law groaned softly. And so that little mystery was solved and he relaxed realizing that that this was likely not a purposeful attack on his crew. Law knew there were a number of mushroom species that were not exactly poisonous but were actually used as recreational drugs due to their hallucinogenic properties. Apparently they sold for quite a bit, from what he recalled from his time under Joker. He had mostly ignored that facet of Jokers market, as drugs were only interesting for the few minutes it took to read over how they affected the bodies of various races.

My crew of idiots managed to buy hallucinogenic fungi on some backwater island no one has heard of…and promptly get every single one of us high on them…completely by accident. With his free hand Law face-palmed. Well, at least it will wear off. Eventually. But for now, damage control.

Concentrating on the chaotic energy circulating his body Law raised his hand.

"Room."

The dome thankfully formed and though it was smaller than he intended, it managed to encompass the area he desired. He was forced to stabilize himself on the doorframe before he did anything else however.

"Wah! Check it out! Its like a…like a…" One of the crewmen shouted.

"Half a thing?"

"YEAH!" Came the unanimous agreement of the others.

"It's a room." Bepo knowingly commented nodding with his arms crossed.

"The hell it is!" The others shouted.

Bepo's head dropped and his whole body doubled over to make his body as small as possible.

"I'm sorry…" He moaned depressed.

Well…now I know that some things will never change. I can't decide if that is a good thing or not though. Law dug around in his pocket picking out a marble and raised his hand again.

"Shambles." He yanked on a particular strand of energy.

And in an instant he held the bag in his hand, the marble clattered to the floor next to Shachi.

"Hey! It's the Man! Cheese it!" Shachi garbled attempting to stand but slipping on the floor comically.

The ensuing scramble of crewmen ended with all of them in a big pile of moaning bodies. Law was reminded of times when he had shambled a bunch of marines together.

"And on that note, I will leave you all to sleep it off." Law commented to the room at large.

He turned and finally feeling somewhat sturdy on his feet, slowly made his way back to his room his stride occasionally faltering so he ran into a wall.

Law flipped the lights on high hearing a number of screams and swears in direct response.

"Oh gods! It burns!"

"Sweet merciful…"

"Uggg…"

"What happened to the female bears?"

"Get your foot out of my eye!"

"Get your face out of my crotch! You pervert!"

"AAHHHHH! SHUT UP!"

Looking at his crew dispassionately Law waited for them to adjust to the change and notice his presence.

"Ohhh, my head…Law-sencho!" The last was nearly shrieked.

Every set of eyes turned to Law's tall frame where it was backlit by the harsh hall lights. The circles under his eyes were more pronounced than usual and his cheeks were pale due in part to the Ipecacuanha extract he had taken to purge his stomach of its contents. His expression was blank and posture tense.

In short, he looked like a demon strait from hell.

"As of this moment," Law began once he was sure he had everyone's attention, "mushrooms are banned from meals and purchase. Any mushrooms found on board will be confiscated with enthusiastic urgency and the one responsible punished…accordingly. Understood?"

His voice was deathly calm though somewhat gritty but it brooked no argument. Thus the order was met with frantic nods in agreement, even as his crew cringed from the movement.

"Furthermore, there will be a few more tests to pass on food we buy in port. I will be showing them to you later and do know I will be testing you on what you learn. Lastly, as soon as you can drag your sorry asses into gear, you will clean up this mess and get dressed properly. Bepo, you come with me, we are going to need the chemical bleach from the safe for your fur."

To their credit, several managed to stand and get working. They were confused as to what caused the explosion of color and terrible smell permeating the room, evidenced by the cries of dismay, but started cleaning obediently anyway.

Bepo shuffled up to Law. He was looking the best off of the crew, as far as recovery went. Law attributed it to his larger body mass and the fact that he wasn't entirely human anymore. Drugs could affect animals oddly after all. And Bepo was a strange hybrid of both; Law was continually surprised by how Bepo reacted to sickness and injury after his transformation. Bepo alone had three journals full of medical notes from the past year.

"Er Law-sencho…what should we do with these? Bleach them?" Shachi asked hesitantly plucking at his ruined boiler suit in revulsion when he saw the mess of pink and chartreuse interspersed with white spirals.

Laws reply was sharp.

"Burn them!"

Shachi jerked back startled at the vehemence in Law's order and the terrifying glint in his eyes.

"Er…y-yes Law-sencho. Right away." He stuttered swallowing a lump in his throat.

Turning back to the bear Law noticed his downcast look.

"Its either bleach or getting completely shaved." He bluntly stated.

Bepo's eyes widened and he raised his paws defensively and replied in a panicked voice.

"Bleach! Bleach Law-sencho!"

Law entered his room too exhausted to indulge in on of his medical texts as he normally would. He managed to make it to his bed before collapsing on it. A bulge underneath his spine prompted him to snake his arm under his back and pull out the offending object. He cringed as soon as he recognized what had once been his shirt. For a moment he just stared at it.

With a surge of pure will and stubborn grit he forced himself to his feet and over to his personal furnace that heated his room and several of the rooms nearby. He pulled open the handle watching the flames lick at the red metal inside. Law gave one last blank look at the shirt and tossed it into the fire.

Barely standing he watched dispassionately as the cloth burned to ashes and was no more. He closed the door definitively locking the handle.

There. No more evidence. Law thought making his way back to bed and to his long delayed rest.

His hands held the shirt over the bowl of blue dye. He had tied the fabric into wads with rubber tubing he normally used for I.V.'s and carefully dipped in corners and edges as he had done already with emerald green. He missed the bowl a few times but eventually finished his task. Untying the bands he shook out the finished product.

"That's wicked…Lawson...Lawman…It's like, an expression of freedom! And like…you know?" One of the others said clasping his shoulder. "Power to the people!"

He hummed in agreement putting the shirt back on and tugging it down over his torso. It was backwards, but he liked the pattern on the back more anyway, it resembled waves and clouds if one looked at it right. The face that had been on the front bothered him for some reason with the blue dye cutting through it diagonally, it reminded him of something he hated but couldn't remember clearly what that was at the moment.

"This was a great idea Lawrence!" The voice broke him from the unpleasant thought.

"Yeah! Where did you learn to make these things? They are like…magic man."

"Umph…around…" He grunted in reply he blinked as something caught his eye near the doorway. "I gotta…go do something…"

"Hey, that wall, like, needs freedom too!"

"You're right! Let's help it out!"

Law began to wonder off down the hall after the Sea King mermaid with the tutu. The multicolored swirls danced around his feet like kittens while flowers sprouted in his footsteps.

As he walked he sung under his breath.

"Each and every one of us…has all we need…sky of blue…sea of green…in oooour yellow, submarineeeee…"

Notes and Citations

Interestingly this turned out a bit more serious then intended near the end. I am not disappointed with how it turned out however. Thankfully I don't have to check it against cannon like the other "insects" I am working on at current. For time reference this is after the Bleach incident—so they are in the Grand Line—I may or may not write that one out, but before Sabaody. I purposefully left off dialogue markers of identificaion as most of the Heart Pirates are unnamed "possible red shirts" and this is supposed to be somewhat confused as Law is still drugged for most of the events.

Shachi is referencing the Blue caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland via Lewis Carroll. Considering the whole series is a bit of a drug trip it was kind of a given to include somehow.

This was inspired in part by this picture browse. deviantart art/wE -aLL-LiVe- 244934061., I laughed a good deal about it when I imagined the crew singing along. And also by the parodied version of the song that I don't recall where I first heard it or who originally made it up.

Boomers and the burnt popcorn reference both from the Urban Dictionary. Shrooms would have given it all away too quickly so I needed more slang for them…I am not up to date on my street lingo, so I only knew the one term.

For the record, I am not actually a fan of the Beetles. I however, like most people, do know about this particular piece of pop culture. As tribute to April Fools day on Monday and the fact that I wanted to work the parody in somehow to this verse we get this…may I be forgiven. The last line is a direct quote from the original song by the Beetles, I just googled the lyrics.

Ipecacuanha- en. / wiki/ Carapichea_ipecacuanha

In short what they make Ipecac Surup from. It induces vomiting. I would imagine Law would douse himself with some to make sure he got any left over's out of his stomach before it could metabolize. (By the way that is how the mushrooms got past the cook, they didn't metabolize fast enough for him to notice the effects so deemed them safe.) Law strikes me as the kind of person who would not be a fan of drugs (at least when used on himself, he likely finds it quite interesting to watch others under the influence) as he presents as a control freak. Drug effects are quite the opposite of that, so I would think he would have a knee-jerk negative reaction to being under the influence and attempt to get in back into control as soon as possible.

Also facts etc checked against the wiki.