"Just sit on it." River was pleading now.
"No, no I will not. I can drive a car, ride a horse and fly the TARDIS. Three modes of primary transportation in most time periods of the worlds in which they exist. This... this is reckless, and... and... and stupid, and I am just too dignified for it!" He punctuated the air with a finger jab.
"Mouth of a Star Whale!"
"Fez and a mop."
"That cute little planet on the outer rim."
The Doctor blushed fiercely. "Shut it, the lot of you."
Amy nudged her daughter with an elbow. "Planet on the outer rim?"
"I'll tell you later," River drawled, all mischevious twinkles and smoldering gazes.
The crimson crept farther over the Doctor's face. He looked rather horrified as he poked the handle of the contraption. "What exactly is it called?"
"A hog."
The Doctor snapped his eyes up to meet Rory's. "But it looks nothing like a pig."
"A motorbike, then."
This earned a chuckle. "Death trap, more like. I'm not doing it. That's final."
With a roll of her eyes and exasperated sighing, River trudged through the red, earthy clay that laid throughout Central Oregon. Even though she had to stand on tiptoes to do it, she whispered in the Doctor's ear. When she was done, she was met with an incredulous look and a "Good lord, I do love you to the ends of the universe and back again. I can't believe that if I ride this contraption you'll do that!"
Rory's hawk-like gaze settled on the Doctor, his father-mode activating in an instant. The Doctor swallowed nervously and swung a leg over the bike.
xXx
"That was fantastic!"
"Doctor, there's still mud in your mouth."
"There have been far worse things in my mouth, Amy, but I shall never speak of them. I can't believe I was so scared of this, I'm a natural!"
The self-proclaimed 'natural' had spent the afternoon spilling into puddles, screaming, "GERONIMO!" any time he went over anyhting that propelled him into the air, and even bellowing "ALLONS-Y!" only to slam the throttle down and crash into a very large tree, which there seemed to be an abundance of.
He clapped gleefully. "And now River can't destroy any of my hats! What a perfect day!"
With the mention of Central Oregon, I just wanted to make the clarification that yes it is like described. It's a great place to learn to ride a motorcycle or a quad, so I figured hey! All of time and space, let's shove the Doctor and all the Ponds into my homestate.