Title: Microwave Challenge

Fandom: 24

Characters: Michelle Dessler/Tony Almeida, Kim Bauer, Jack Bauer.

Word Count: 1,254

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It was awful, and immature, and mean, and she'd agreed sometime between the first kiss and when he promised to make it so they had a day off together for a long weekend next month.

Author's Notes: Okay, so this is kinda crack!fic. Hopefully it'll be as amusing to you as it was to me. Pre-Season 3, no real spoilers. If you're interested, I'll tell you how this story came about.

"I don't see how this is important."

"You never know what could happen, Kim," Michelle answered dismissively, glancing down at the clipboard in her hand and making another note. Returning her gaze to the blonde across the room, she had to suppress the urge to laugh. It really wasn't professional, it was even downright mean, but when Tony had asked her to run a little training scenario on their newest recruit, she hadn't been able to contain her laughter. It was awful, and immature, and mean, and she'd agreed sometime between the first kiss and when he promised to make it so they had a day off together for a long weekend next month. Everyone had a price, and she could only be so selfless.

"Really, Michelle? A terrorist takes me hostage in a kitchen?"

Feeling the laughter rise in her again, Michelle coughed, looking down and nodding vigorously. "I had to go through the same scenario, Kim. It's not a big deal."

"And this is why Tony does all the cooking at your house?" the younger Bauer retorted, making Michelle's eyes narrow. How had she known that? "'Cause you can burn water?"

Michelle glanced at the two-way mirror, knowing Tony was watching. He was going to get it; there were just some things he didn't need to discuss, even with their good friends. "That's beside the point. The point is, you need to be able to do almost anything when your life is being put on the line. No matter how silly and trivial it may seem."

"But clearing the time from the microwave? Seriously, Michelle?"

The urge to laugh was back. Michelle clamped down on her bottom lip and nodded. "Any task you perform could be the one that saves your life," she recited robotically, remembering from the course she'd taken just a few months earlier.

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't believe you."

Adopting her best innocent face, Michelle cocked her head. "Kim, would I lie to you?"

Kim hesitated, and Michelle smiled gently. She'd never led her astray before, and they both knew it.

"Well, no."

Satisfied that her lie had been bought, though feeling a little guilty, Michelle nodded. "Okay, let's get started."

The truth really was that Jack had noticed a new, and annoying, quirk to his daughter's behavior, and wanted to see if she could be convinced to snap out of it, without resorting to the type of yelling that usually meant the office wasn't a nice place to be for a few days. Neither of them exuded maturity when it came to that sort of thing.

So instead, the training scenario was devised – which was about fifty times less mature, in Michelle's opinion, but she was just the chief of staff, who cared what she really thought – with Tony's help. The scenario went like this: Get Kim in a facsimile kitchen, tell her that she'd been taken hostage, and the way to get herself out of the situation involved pushing a series of buttons on a microwave that still had time remaining. So far, Kim hadn't responded well.

"So what do I have to do again?"

Glancing at the window again, Michelle narrowed her eyes and held up two fingers. She deserved two days off for this stunt. Tony owed her, big time.

"All you have to do is clear the remaining time, Kim," she responded patiently. "The microwave is paused at thirteen seconds, and you need it to go back to the main screen with the time. That's it."

"But, wait," Kim stopped. "Why can't I just hit start and let the time run out?"

Michelle's head dipped. "You can't. There's a," she wracked her brain for a feasible solution. "There's a problem with one of the coils and if the counter reaches double-zero, it'll explode."

Somehow, she just knew Tony was laughing at her, and she turned to glare. Two fingers became three, but she found herself mentally planning their second honeymoon. It was going to be a week long this time around. She'd deserve it by the time this was over.

Kim blew a strand of hair out of her face. "That doesn't seem very likely, Michelle."

"It doesn't matter," she snapped, instantly feeling bad. "It's the scenario, that's all."

"Okay."

Kim turned back to the microwave, tongue poking out from her lips in concentration. Michelle took the opportunity to scribble something meant for Tony's eyes only on the fake evaluation sheet; something about what she was going to do to him in punishment once they got to Cabo.

"Ack! No! Stop!" Kim's startled shouts made her jump. "Michelle, help!"

Almost afraid the girl had hurt herself, Michelle made a beeline over to her. Immediately she had to contain an eye roll. Kim had somehow started to change the clock.

"I don't know, Michelle! I can't do this!" Kim's voice was starting to wobble, and Michelle's head shot to the side. Was she going to cry? No, no, no. Comforting Jack Bauer's crying daughter was not in her job description.

Her hand flew up, all five fingers splayed wide. Five days, he owed her now. Five glorious, sandy, sun-filled days to go along with six luxurious, sex-filled nights. And maybe he'd be out of the doghouse by the time they returned.

"That's enough for today, Kim. It's okay. We'll try some other time."

"Did I, did I do okay?" Kim asked, her breath hitching.

Michelle patted her shoulder gently, leading her over to the door of the room. Flinging the door open, she didn't give the two onlookers much chance to compose themselves. Jack ended up doubled over coughing while Tony somehow found the crack running the length of the ceiling very interesting, an obnoxious little smirk still on his face.

"You did fine, Kim. Your dad will help explain what you should work on for next time," she promised, smiling sweetly in Jack's direction. "Tony, can I have a word with you?"

From the look on Tony's face, he knew she was about to give him many words. He might've snuck a glance back at Jack as she preceded him out of the room, but his fellow director made no move to come to his aid. Jack apparently knew when he was beaten.

He'd barely closed the door to his office before she spun around and slapped his chest. "You two are awful!"

Instead of contrition, he just laughed. He laughed and laughed, and collapsed on the open part of his desk and laughed some more.

"I'm not kidding, Tony, that was just plain mean what you made me do to her," she insisted, even though the corner of her mouth turned up a little more with every heave of his shoulders.

"You were amazing, baby," he squeaked, coughing in hopes of tamping down his mirth. It didn't work, and they both ended up in a fit of the giggles. She went willingly when he reached out, tugging her into his arms. Burying her face in his shoulder, she laughed until her eyes stung with tears.

"You owe me so much time off, it's not even funny," she was finally able to say, pulling away. Tony nodded, laughing twice again and wiping his eyes.

"Believe me, Michelle. You've earned it."

Kissing him quickly, she nodded. "You're damn right I have. Five days," she added, handing him the evaluation form, ignoring his realization that that's what she'd been making hand signs about. "And I want to go to the beach."