Disclaimer: ST: VOY is not mine.
Caught in the Middle
by mistress amethyst une
I am in pain...
No, not because I am dying.
He is holding me.
He is sorry.
She is beside him.
Watching us...
Her heart is breaking.
It should not be.
She should be happy.
I will finally be gone.
Me.
The obstacle.
He cared for me.
Cared.
Not loved.
Because of her.
He cared because she did not love him.
I am not blind.
She did love him.
She does love him.
I wonder what will happen once I am gone.
Will he go to her now?
Seek comfort in her arms?
I loved him.
I loved her just as much.
They are...
How could they?
They both cared.
They cared about me.
But love?
No.
They saved that for each other.
She has been in pain.
Seeing me and him.
Having to perform the ceremony that joined me and him.
Even I was shocked at his insensitivity.
I loved him but I loved her too.
He was hurting her.
Having her marry us was the final stab.
The three of us were never the same.
And now...
I am dying.
I love him.
I love her.
But they do not love me.
For me, there is only caring.
Their love is for each other.
Lessons.
Experiments.
Him.
I wanted to learn love.
He complied.
I learned to love him.
Deeply.
He complied.
He cared about me.
He showed me what love was.
I saw it.
I saw his love.
Saw it every time he looked at her with longing.
Her.
I always wanted to be her.
My mentor.
The one my husband desired.
Why her?
I was caught in the middle.
They are both so foolish.
Their pain stems from the irrelevant.
The irrelevant refusal to acknowledge what they feel for each other.
I have been a victim.
I should have seen it.
Known it.
And yet...
I wanted.
I wanted him.
I wanted her.
To be her.
To feel the intensity of love.
To feel the intensity of love only he could provide.
But I made a foolish error.
That love he had.
The one I wanted.
He could only feel it for her.
For me, there is only caring.
I feel the need to close my eyes.
To die.
I hear them begin to cry.
I drag his head down and whisper into the shell of his ear.
My dying wish.
"Make sure that she does not die unhappy."
But I cannot find the words in my throat anymore.
My breath catches.
I only manage to impart my dying breath to his ear.
I am sorry.
Captain.
Commander.
Kathryn.
Chakotay.
I am sorry.
I loved you both.
But I have failed.
Made you both unhappy.
Maybe.
In another time.
Another place.
The two of you.
Without me.
No matter how much it hurts.
Author's Note: I hope I didn't write Seven in an OOC manner.