Disclaimer: I do not own The Prince of Tennis.
I don't expect any review for this story. This will be my first rated M story.
This story will contain:violence-swearing-tragedy-death-and lots of depression You have been warned.

Just something.
I'll be writing this story for a while. I haven't given up on my other stories. I written a lot of the next chapters, but the thing is my beta reader is still working on my correction. So I don't want to over load my beta reader with another 20+ pages. To keep me busy, I'll be writing this story on my own. I feel myself in the depression mode. So this story is somewhat relates to my world a little. I have suffered from depression for a long time…guess you didn't need to know that. Don't worry about me, my life is ok now. This is kind of funny. This will be my first time ever swearing.

I apologize now for any mistakes I make in the story.

Note: Kaidoh is in his 2nd year of high school. Age 17. Momoshiro is also in his 2nd of high school. Age 17.
Alex is high school, barely made it in the 2nd year time limit. Age 16.

Dear Kaido.

It's getting lonelier. My world is so dark to me, but its only getting darker.
Where ever I go, the people I see…I can tell that their world is full of colors and life. Beautiful colors that I will never get to see one day. Through the eyes I see…I see black and white, and not even a hint of grey.
Yesterday I saw a girl around my age; she was jumping up and down in laughter and full of happiness.

Kaido. I wish my world was like that. It's too late though. Now it's nothing.
I know you're not real and only a journal, but you're the only friend I have…

"ALEX! Get your ass down here!" shouted a man from downstairs. Alex didn't move. She only stared at the entry she written that morning. "ALEX!"

"I'm coming!" Alex shouted back. She quickly hid the book behind her bed, before going downstairs.

"What?" Alex asked when she came down downstairs, and then to see her drunken father sitting at the kitchen table.

"Make some fucking breakfast." he said with a stone tone. It was a better idea to listen and not test him. Alex started to cook some breakfast for him.

There was silence between the two. Finally Alex's father broke the silence, "I'm taking you out of that rich piece of shit."

Alex was not surprise at all; she knew her father wanted her out of that rich ass school. "Where am I going to go to school now?" she said softly. Her father turned at looked at her, "I'm putting you in an all boys school."

"But I'm a girl." Alex told her father.

'Not according to your birth certificate." he shot back.

Alex knew her father didn't ever love her. It was because she was born as a girl…his daughter. However her father never wanted a daughter, he wanted a son instead. He did everything he could to make it seem that he had a son. When she was born he named her Alex. He always kept her hair short, but not too short. Then he would also train her to stay in shape which kept her from growing more girly.

"That birth certificate is a fake." Alex said.

After her mother had died, he took the advantage of creating new documents changing her gender to male. The high class school she was going was chosen by her mother. Since now she is gone, he was going to have everything done his way. He was a very smart man, so the first thing he had done was change the papers. Then now…transferring her to an all boys school. To make his dream come true that he has son instead of a daughter, regardless of her feelings.

"I don't give a damn about your excuses. Your going." he said coldly. "Your uniform is in the closet."

"I don't want to go to an all boys school!" Alex snapped. "I rather die then to listen to you anymore! I've had it! I have a life you know! Face it…no matter how much you try to change me, I'll ALWAYS BE YOUR DAUGHTER!"

That statement really pissed him off. He stood up then violently grabbed her. He threw her against the nearest wall. Feeling the hard impact against her back, Alex fell to her knees. The pain shot through her whole back.

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN!" he yelled as he struck her across the face hard. "YOU WILL RESPECT MY DECISION!" he slapped her harder across the face again in the same spot.

"I'm sorry." cried Alex. The pain was too much for her to handle. "I'M SORRY!" she begged him to stop. He did. "Forget breakfast. I lost my appetite. Get you ass up and get ready." he demanded. Alex did she was told.

After getting ready, Alex noticed her belongings by the door. "What are y-"

"You're going to be living in the dorms over there. You can keep the car with you." he said coldly. Alex could feel something had been lifted. She was relieved to believe that she was going to be living away from his abuse. "You're really letting me stay there?" she asked.

Alex's father looked at her with hard eyes, "What? You want to stay here? Fine."

"No. No. I'll go." Alex said. She couldn't believe that finally she was set free from her father. Alex's father looked at her face where he struck her, "Did you put foundation on?"

"Not yet." she said touching her bruise cheek bone. Alex turned around and went into the bathroom.

Foundation was the only thing female product she could use. Covering up the bruise, Alex looked in the mirror. She didn't look boyish or girly…just…normal. If you thought she looked like a girl, she looked like a girl. If you thought she looked like a boy, your mind makes her look like a boy. People never ask, they only assume.

'I'm free.' Alex thought as she stared at her reflection. She watched her purple eyes fill with water. Alex then felt her cold tears finding its way down her cheek. This has to be the best news she heard in forever. Seeing herself cry slowly, she could see the cheerful girl in her.

"ALEX!" shouted her father in the living room.

"I'm coming." she called out. Alex quickly wiped her eyes. Before going back to her father, she went into what now use to be her room and grabbed her journal from behind the bed.

"I'm leaving now." Alex said walking to her car door. "Alex. Do well in school, ok?"

Alex nodded, and then got into her car.

He tapped on the window. She slowly rolls down the car window. "Don't let anyone find out you're a girl, got that?" he ordered looking at her dead cold. He smirked, "Make me proud…If not, you'd wish I was never your father to begin with." He slowly touched her face softly with a finger. "Don't upset me…" He kissed her.

After he walked inside, Alex quickly drove off. She could feel her body trembling in fear. 'I might be physically away from him, but…mentally…he's still torturing me.' Trying to calm down, Alex turned her music loud. She listened to the heaving beating of the drums, the heavy metal, and the guy screaming like crazy. 'I'm still nothing.'

xXx

"Hey mamushi! I have great news!" smirked Momoshiro standing behind Kaidoh.

"I don't want to hear it." Kaidoh said annoyed. "And who told you, you could come in here?!"

"Calm down mamushi. I only came here to get some of my last things…" Momoshiro had a huge grin on his face during the long pause. Kaidoh knew what he was going to say. "…because I'm moving out!" Momo started to dance in circles. "I'm moving out. Uh-huh, I'm moving out."

"SHUT UP!" Kaidoh shouted. "You're only moving across from me, baka."

Momo got angry, and wanted to strangle him there and now. However, both Momoshiro and Kaidoh couldn't or there would be in serious trouble. They couldn't fight because of what happen at their other high school two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, both of them got into the biggest fight and got kicked out. For some random reason both of them end up going to the same school again. This time, an all boys school.

Trying hard to hold in the anger, Momo smirked. "But I get my place to myself. You're getting a new guy today."

"I don't care." Kaidoh said as he too tried to calm down. Truth is, he didn't really care if got another roommate or not. As long as the guy wasn't like Momoshiro. "As long he's not you, I'll be fine."

That pissed off Momo. "You know what?!"

"WHAT?!" Kaidoh glared at Momo. Now he didn't care if got kicked out again. He was going to set Momo straight.

"Excuse me. Is one of you Kaidoh Kaoru?" Momo and Kaidoh stopped their fight and turned towards the doorway. Momo smiled, "Yeah. He is." pointing to Kaidoh.

"Are you my new roommate?" Kaidoh asked in his polite tone of voice, as he was taught to for a guest. Alex nodded. "Yeah. I'm Alex."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Momoshiro Takeshi, but call me Momo." Momo said as he gave one of his friendly smiles. "I'll been leaving then." with that, Momo left across the hall into his place.

"Baka." Kaidoh muttered under his breath. He looked at Alex. "Make yourself at home."

Alex was confused. "I thought we had class."

"No. Today there will be no class, but tomorrow we do." Kaidoh explained. Alex nodded. She put her bag in the closet without unpacking. Ignoring Kaidoh, she went straight to her new bed and lay down. Herself facing the wall, she went right to sleep.

"I guess him and I will get along just fine." thought Kaidoh. He went back to working on his homework.