A little fic I wrote based off of a suggestion by the tumblr account ofunicornsmetalandfanfics. It's an Addams Family/ Hayffie crossover in which the Addams are sponsors. I imagined this as the tv show version of the Addams Family rather than the movies, just based on what the house looks like and the personality of the characters. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or scenarios or scenes or anything.
"C'mon, Haymitch!" Effie sighed, pulling him towards the house in front of them, "We need the sponsors!" Apparently these were very wealthy people and willing to sponsor about anyone, which was fortunate for the District 12 pair, although most people were too afraid of them to even go to their door. Effie had made an appointment with them to meet, and she thought they couldn't seem nicer on the phone.
Haymitch grumbled, not wanting to meet any sponsors, no matter what their reputation was in the Capitol. He looked around the neighborhood as Effie knocked on the door, a sense of eeriness settled in the air, as if it has been resting over the street for a while.
The door opened and Effie looked up at the Frankenstein-esque man who opened the door. She jumped back with a slight squeak, and caught Haymitch's hand in hers. He looked up with a slightly calmer reaction.
"He-hello, I'm Effie Trinket. I set up an appointment for today?" Her voice was even higher pitched, though Haymitch never imagined that was possible.
"Come in," groaned the monster-like man in a deep, deep voice that would make even President Snow tremble.
Haymitch laughed at Effie's shakiness, as though she'd tip over in her high heels. "C'mon, Effie!" He mimicked her high voice, "We need to get these sponsors."
"I-yes, of course," Effie nodded, calming down extraordinarily just at Haymitch's voice.
They walked in and were met by a statue of a two-headed turtle and a suit of armor. In the center of the room a man, wearing a pin striped suit and smoking a cigar, and a woman, wearing a long black dress that, though it was fashionable, looked significantly understated next to Effie's bright golden and remarkably puffy dress, were sword fighting.
The woman broke away from her gaze into her partner's eyes and noticed Effie and Haymitch staring wondrously at the scene. "Darling, we have guests."
The man lowered his sword but walked over to the woman, wrapping an arm around her waist, "We shall finish our match later, then."
The woman nodded and smiled at the mentor and the escort, "Hello, I'm Morticia Addams. you must be Miss Trinket. I believe we spoke on the phone?"
"Yes," Effie smiled meeting the kindness of Morticia with her own manners, "That is correct. This is Haymitch Abernathy, District 12's mentor."
The man then walked over to Haymitch, "Nice to meet you, I'm Gomez Addams." He pulled a cigar out of his pocket and offered it to Haymitch.
He shook his head, "No thank you. Although I wouldn't say no to a drink." Effie elbowed him in the ribs in response, but Gomez merely laughed.
"Well, then. Shall we get to it?" Gomez said, leading them into the living room, making a stop at a wooden desk.
Effie purred, "Is this mahogany? It looks like it. Oh, this is beautiful."
Morticia nodded, "It is indeed mahogany. In fact, if you're interested in it, you might as well take it; I've been looking to get a new desk. Perhaps one made of stone this time…" Effie at first denied politely, but she seemed significantly less tense with the prospect of a new mahogany table for her apartment.
Gomez opened the drawer and pulled out a thick wad of money. Effie gasped, "You couldn't possibly mean to donate all of that to our tributes, could you?"
"Of course! Why wouldn't I?" Gomez handed the money to Haymitch, who took it much easier than Effie would have.
"It's just… we've never gotten so much total for a tribute." Effie remarked, still stunned.
"Just comeback every year and we'll be the proud sponsors of District 12." Gomez laughed.
Morticia smiled at her husband and touched his cheek, "You are so thoughtful, darling."
"Querida." Gomez addressed her, and started to kiss her hand, working his way up to her shoulder.
Effie looked away, not wanting to impose, and made a slight coughing noise.
"Gomez, our guests…" Morticia reminded him.
"Ah, yes," Gomez said and he turned back towards the two. "Is there anything else I need to do to sponsor them?"
"Nothing at all," Haymitch replied, turning the money in his hand. "Thank you."
"We don't want to intrude any farther, thank you so much for your time," Effie said, making her way to leave, but Morticia stopped her.
"Nonsense! You are not intruding!" She said. "Please stay for a drink."
Haymitch laughed, "I won't say no to that. C'mon Princess."
Morticia tapped on a box in the middle of the table, and out came a hand without a body. "Champagne please, Thing." WIth that, the hand retreated, only to come back out with four glasses and a bottle.
Effie was petrified, frozen where she stood, but all Haymitch saw was the drink. He led her over to where the Addams were. They poured the drinks and handed them out, Effie holding hers carefully, wondering whether it was safe to drink.
Gomez raised his glass and said, "Well then, a toast! To the tributes and to the two fine couples here!" Effie hadn't even taken a sip when Haymitch had already started drinking, only to choke.
"Couples?" He laughed, "We're not… never could be involved."
Morticia's eyes widened, "But you two have such chemistry. If Gomez and I weren't here, you would for sure be the most perfectly matched two people in all of Panem!"
"I agree, of course," Gomez said, smiling at his wife, "You two seem to balance each other out."
Effie smiled slightly, "No, I'm afraid that wouldn't be possible. Even if I were to," she cleared her throat, "Find Haymitch the slightest bit attractive, we come from two different worlds. I, the beautiful, luxurious Capitol; and he, the quite… simpler District 12." Effie looked at Haymitch, a hope gleaming in her eyes, as if she wanted him to counter what she had just said.
"Of course," he grunted instead, "We would never work."
"I see," Morticia said, "Well, eventually someday I hope you do realize the chemistry between you."
Haymitch no longer felt like drinking and he and Effie soon left, both oddly quiet given the fact they had just secured ample money for their tributes once they arrived in the arena.
"So, uh… I can see why many people don't like it there." Haymitch said, trying to force a conversation.
"Yes, they were indeed quite peculiar, although kind enough. I don't see a problem in going there for the coming years."
"What you said about, you know…" Haymitch started. He couldn't believe what he was trying to say, but he wanted to blame it his cloudy mind due to drinking. "Did you actually mean all of that?"
"Well, I-" Effie stuttered, "I mean, I'm sure that a… relationship could take place between a Capitol and District citizen, I merely did not want to get ideas in their heads about us when we clearly…" she drifted off, wanting him to continue for her so she knew where he stood.
"They already had the idea in their heads, Princess." He laughed. "And you know you're not half as bad as you act some of the time…"
Effie smiled slightly, "You're not either… especially when you're sober… you're almost tolerable."
They continued their walk back to the training center in silence, but when they got onto the elevator to get back up to their floor, Haymitch took the opportunity to kiss Effie, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him. Though Effie was very much enjoying the kiss, when the doors open, she sprung away from him, startled.
"Well, then." She said, blushing. "I suppose the Addams were right then, weren't they?"
Haymitch just laughed, "I guess so, Princess."
They then joined Katniss and Peeta in the living room looking very pleased.
I hope you liked it! Please let me know if you'd maybe like a singular story compiled of all of my tumblr one-shot prompts, so they are all in one place and not scattered all over my account. Thank you so much for reading!