Psymon Stark was generally insane, well rather just plain frightening, in his youth he attempted to ride his bike over power lines and happened to cause a black out an entire valley but hey, everyone makes mistakes…just Psymon wasn't quite the same after that.
He knew most people felt uncomfortable around him and he used that to intimidate people.
However, some things he does around the time when he's not riding are just as obscene as when he was…
Allegra came into the lounge area of the lodge and found the furniture gone,
"Where's the stuff?" She asked to no one, but she heard footsteps come into the room and it was Psymon just whistling and walking rather loosely than his rigid self.
"Hey Psymon, where's the furniture?" Allegra asked him.
He just roared of laughter.
"Oh look to the sky Allegra!" Psymon laughed manically.
"What?"
Allegra looked up to the ceiling but the room was completely empty.
With a very confused look on her face she walked outside and found the sofa and all the chairs strapped in duct tape to the high trees surrounding the Green base station.
"What? How did it up there?" Allegra was finding this situation very strange.
In the distance she saw Elise riding towards her.
"Hey Allegra, what's up?" Elise called.
Allegra pointed to the trees,
"Our furniture has been Psymonized…" Allegra sighed.
"How could he have possibly climbed up those high trees while carrying the stuff up there?" Allegra asked
Elise patted Allegra on the shoulder,
"He has found a way." She plainly said and unstrapped her board and walked into the lodge.
"What the hell?" Allegra whispered as she walked back in.
In the lounge everyone was there and no one had bothered to get the stuff down so the room was bare and everyone who was in the room at the time, just sat on the floor.
"I seriously think that we need new furniture in this lodge." Viggo suggested.
"Who'd want to sit on something that has been gnawed at by squirrels?" He asked the crowd.
"We could get rid of the old stuff and replace it with new stuff, that way it won't feel like we're living in the 17th century." Allegra agreed.
"We should get a heat pump." Griff commented, "And a new TV, new play station, new Xbox360, new bean bags so we can sit on them while playing the Xbox360!" Griff added.
"You pay for the Xbox360 yo," Mac replied.
"Yeah, Viggo can try to sell the chewed up furniture while I go buy some new stuff." Zoe said.
"What about the tattered kitchen?" Elise asked.
"Yeah, I thought that it needs a new sink, have you seen the state of that thing?" Viggo added.
"I thought Psymon was the one cleaning it?" Kaori asked.
"He refuses to clean anything." Mac butted in.
"I think we should do an extreme makeover, SSX style!" Viggo shouted out.
"No one is touching my room!" Psymon yelled from the stairwell.
"Why the hell would we want to go into your room?" Viggo shouted back.
Suddenly a big bag full of chains fell down the stairs and went straight into Viggo's back.
"No one's touching my room!" Psymon yelled back.
"You know what I'm thinking? I'll tell you what I'm thinking, I'll show you what I'm thinking: LOSER!" He empathised LOSER with a high tone and said while holding a shape of an "L" on his forehead.
Zoe giggled a bit, "He's very territorial," She commented.
"Okay, so it's agreed then, we renovate this entire lodge, not the rooms but just the kitchen, lounge and living area? Right?" Viggo asked.
"Right!" Everyone agreed.
"That's a bit contradictory isn't it?" Mac asked "we renovate the entire lodge except here only here, here and here"
Viggo proceeded to throw the bag of chains at Mac "MORON!" he yelled.
Renovation begun without Psymon's consent and he was absolutely furious when they took the sink away,
"NO!" He screamed and even threatened to bash the furniture removal guy with his own hammers.
Zoe and Elise had a very hard time trying to calm him down but they eventually did it by challenging him to a race.
While those three were out Viggo and Allegra were telling
the removal guys what to take and what not to take, they had spared everyone's cutlery and private mugs etc.
Nate was helping the guys take the heavy cupboards out.
Griff and Mac were out shopping for the gaming consoles and all the new electronic stuff and Moby and Kaori were looking for new chairs, but Moby was having a hard time choosing the difference between pink and light pink.
"Look love, we do not want pink chairs, I don't think the guys will like it. We have to find something that everyone will like." Moby said to the Japanese girl.
"Oh how's this?" she asked pointing to leather couch and chairs.
"Leather sticks to the skin love, guys sweat twice as much and when we come back from racing we probably won't be able to get off the chairs!" Moby explained.
"This will do." Moby said as he sat down on some other chairs.
Kaori screwed up her nose.
"That is an old man's chair." She said.
"No it's not." Moby argued.
While they were arguing, Psymon, Zoe and Elise came back from the race,
"How was the race guys?" Viggo asked.
"I whipped their asses!" Psymon bragged
"You cheated." Zoe muttered.
"Ahahaha stick a fork in me and call me spud!" Psymon laughed.
But suddenly Psymon's laughing stopped when he saw the most valuablest thing being dragged out by Nate and some random guy.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Psymon screamed as he ran towards them.
"You can't take that!" Psymon protested.
"Man, what's the problem, it's just a dishwasher" Nate said
"It's not JUST a dishwasher moron; it's a Simpson duo-matic dishwasher" Psymon explained with a proud but evil smile.
"We're getting a new one anyway." Nate said.
Psymon gasped.
"A new one?"
Nate nodded.
"A new one."
"I don't care, I want that one! It has been like a brother to me!" Psymon protested.
"You can't take family away!" He argued.
Nate just shrugged.
"Okay man, leave this for the psychopath." Nate said and dropped the dishwasher on the floor and Psymon started to hug it.
"I promise I will never let them take you away." He said while petting it like a cat.
"He is so weird." Elise mentioned.
"What did you expect?" Zoe added.
Elise just rolled her eyes, "So how's it going Viggo?" she called over.
"It's going good, everything's under control, just gotta wait for Mac and Griff to come back with the things that everyone likes." He replied.
"Managed to get the stuff down from the trees?" Zoe asked.
"Take a look."
Both the girls looked up and there they were still tapped to the tree,
"Where did he find pink duct tape anyway?" Elise asked with a giggle.
"Not in my draw." Zoe denied.
"Hey!" Viggo called over to the removal guy, who was trying to pull out the washing machine.
"What are you doing? Trying to pull that thing out on your own? Shameful, get help." Viggo said and the guy smiled.
When the washing machine was out of its place, the guys were screamed at by Psymon.
Viggo sighed.
"Psymon, leave them alone, they are only doing their jobs." Viggo defended.
"You can't take away family!" Psymon screamed.
"Yes and the washing machine is not part of the family." Viggo said.
"But it's part of the furniture…" Psymon countered.
For a second Viggo was lost for words, stupid ancient sayings.
"Okay Psymon here's an ultimatum for ya, the dishwasher or the washing machine, you can't have both!" Viggo shouted.
Psymon gave him a look of pure hatred but Viggo was dead serious.
"Dishwasher, washing machine, Dishwasher, washing machine…WHICH ONE?" Psymon yelled
"Well, we are getting new dishwasher anyway so you can keep the washing machine." Viggo made his choice easier but it was still hard to part with it.
"No! How about I keep the dishwasher in my room while everyone else uses the new one?" Psymon pleaded.
"Sounds reasonable, okay Psymon keeps the old and busted dishwasher that we chucked out and well, I don't really think we need a new washing machine right now, it's perfectly fine. Move it back in boys." Viggo apologised but the men took it back in.
"I could hug you right now but if I am caught I will commit suicide." Psymon said.
"Cool, go ahead and hug me." Viggo said as he opened his arms, Psymon just got creeped out.
"What's wrong with you man?" Psymon asked as he had a look of horror on his face and he suddenly ran off to the abandoned dishwasher.
"I just got sexually abused by a man," He whispered to it.
Viggo just rolled his eyes.
"Well, that's him off my back." He said and he continued with the work.
It was around sunset when they brought the new dishwasher from Canada into the lodge and placed it in the kitchen right where the old one was.
The only rearranging was the sink and cupboards.
"There that should do nicely." Viggo said feeling pleased, everyone walked away and Psymon was standing there with an "Oooooo" look on his face.
It was just him and the new dishwasher in the kitchen at the time, everyone else was in the living area watching Mac and Griff playing Need for Speed: Pro Street.
"What's your name?" Psymon asked.
The dishwasher didn't reply.
"Oh, I see, you're a bit shy, that's okay, I'm Psymon, I live here and am good mates with the owner who used to be in your spot. He was a good companion and cleaned dishes well, let's see if you can live up to the expectations of this household." Psymon challenged.
He walked off to his room and grabbed a dirty plate from about a week ago.
"Okay, Mr. Dawson. Clean this plate!"Psymon yelled as he shoved the plate in the dishwasher.
He closed it and looked at the buttons, but suddenly he became a little fascinated.
"Oooooo, so many functions…which one, which one." Psymon said as his finger wandered over the 'rinse' 'scrub' 'dry' and 'clean' buttons.
He pressed the 'clean' button and waited in anticipation.
Zoe then wandered in.
"Psy, what are you doing?" She asked looking at him who was sitting on the floor in front of the dishwasher staring at it like it was a piece of artwork.
"Shh, Mr. Dawson is cleaning." Psymon whispered.
"Excuse me?"
"Mr. Dawson must not be disturbed when he is cleaning." Psymon said.
Zoe decided to play along.
"How do you know it's not Miss Dawson?" She asked, Psymon gave her a look of surprise.
"A female dishwasher! Oh my god!" He smiled.
"Whatever Psymon, I think you are becoming over obsessed with that dishwasher, what about the one you have in your room?" Zoe asked him.
Psymon suddenly felt guilty.
"It's fine, he needs rest." He tried to make it sound like he was over it but that wasn't really the case.
Suddenly the dishwasher made a beeping noise and Psymon grinned like a madman.
"IT TALKS!" Psymon squealed.
"No it didn't." Zoe argued.
"Yes it did, you heard it." Psymon said.
"All I heard was a 'Ding' but that was it." Zoe said.
"I didn't know you could speak Dishwasher language!" Psymon grinned.
"I don't." Zoe replied, what the hell was Psymon hearing?
"Beep, ding ding beep beepeddy beep beep," Psymon imitated the machine.
"You're crazy." Zoe sighed as she walked out of the room.
Psymon opened the dishwasher door and examined the plate; it was as clean as it had been when it was brought, he saw his face crystal clear, it was as though he was looking through a mirror.
"I am so proud of you Miss Dawson." Psymon said to the machine.
"Beep beep beep," Psymon congratulated the dishwasher and he slept well that night.
The next morning Allegra walked into the kitchen but then noticed the dishwasher had been removed.
"What the hell, where did it go?" Allegra asked no one in particular but then she walked outside and heard Psymon's voice.
Elise and Mac followed her out.
"What's going on yo?" Mac asked.
"I don't know."
They went out to where Psymon was and they found that Psymon had gotten the new dishwasher and his old one outside on the snow and were side by side under a huge arch full of white flowers and Psymon was at the front of them dressed in a tuxedo and holding a book.
"Dearly beloved Dishwashers, we are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Miss Dawson and Mr. Simpson as they will come together and become Mr and Mrs. Simpson!" Psymon yelled out.
Mac bursted out laughing and Elise smacked her forehead and Allegra just smiled.
"He's marrying the Dishwashers?" Mac asked.
"What the hell?" Elise asked.
"It's Psymon! Do you have to ask?" Allegra asked them both.
"Are we going to have dishwasher babies now?" Mac asked.
"Who knows, good thing that we didn't buy another washing machine, if that, we'd have dishwasher and washing machine babies everywhere." Allegra laughed.
They turned towards Psymon again and continued to watch and laugh.
"Now do we have the rings?" He asked and then pulled out two chains from the bag he threw on Viggo yesterday.
He spray painted them gold.
He placed one on Mr. Simpson and then one on Miss Dawson.
"Now you may exchange vows." Psymon said as he pressed the buttons on the machines and they beeped to tell him that they were empty on powder.
The audience made up of Mac, Elise, Allegra, Zoe and Griff were constantly laughing and falling off their chairs.
It was hilarious!
"I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs Simpson! You may now kiss the bride!" Psymon shouted out and he pulled the dishes out of them both and exchanged the dishes between them.
"It doesn't help that you are vegetable dishwashers I have to do everything! Okay these plates are your saliva
you hear!" He shouted as he stood up and bowed down.
"WHOOOO!" Mac and Griff took the piss out of it and Elise and Zoe clapped but Allegra just sat there wondering what the hell goes through his mind.
"Alright! That's enough of that!" Psymon shouted and picked up the new Mrs. Simpson and carried her back to the kitchen.
"Hey Psymon, if I hadn't said that it was girl dishwasher, would you still have made the wedding?" Zoe asked.
Psymon looked at her with horror,
"What is wrong with you? I didn't think you liked gay marriages?" Psymon asked as he ran away to tell Mr. Simpson that a girl likes gay dishwashers.
Zoe just rolled her eyes.
Surely riding your bike over power lines cannot possibly make you this deranged?
But this is just considered a normal day for Psymon.
THE END!