Title: Wolf In Sheep's Clothing
Author: croisee
Character/Pairing/Group: Ichigo, Rukia, IchiRuki, Shirosaki in two lines
Word Count: 1,003
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Don't judge a book by its cover. Literally.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Kubo Tite does.
Warning(s): Sexual innuendo. Rukia's dirty thoughts.
A/N: Ha! I get to write another Bleach fanfic. This must be a first for me, staying religious to my duties as a fanfic writer. I tried to keep Ichigo and Rukia in-character, one of my major worries about ficcies I write. So enjoy! (1 down, 9 more to go.)
He as reading that stupid fairytale book again, Rukia mused, the one he started reading a month ago. It was leather-bound and the cover was glossy, with shiny letters that ran together and pictures that looked like something from a harlequin romance book. She scoffed. Ichigo didn't even bat an eyelash.
"I'm hungry." She complained.
Silence.
"Feed me."
Not even a blink.
"I could draw better than that stupid book." She sniffed and turned her nose up haughtily.
Ichigo looked up from his book. Her comment had managed to generate a smirk and he was looking at her as if it was the most absurd thing she had ever said. "I highly doubt that."
Rukia frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Ichigo who returned to reading his book. He didn't seem the least bit fazed by the intensity of her glare. She concentrated on a spot on his head and tried to imagine it on fire. He refused to look at her. "I'm going out," she bit out and Ichigo's door shut with a bang.
Ichigo furrowed his brows and shifted his legs ever so slightly.
Rukia sipped her strawberry smoothie and looked highly affronted. Ichigo was reading again, and he seemed thoroughly interested if his flushed face was any indication. The tips of his ears were pink and the bridge of his nose could put his namesake to shame. Only this time, his eyes were roving animatedly across the expanse of the page.
She took out her mobile and let out a fake gasp. "A Hollow!"
Ichigo looked at her and his scowl deepened. "Take it out. I'll follow." He turned a page and a shade redder.
Rukia gritted her teeth. "Oh, it disappeared. Ishida must've gotten it."
"Good."
One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, Rukia sought to calm her bubbling anger as she had read in a – what's it called? – self-help book. She slurped her strawberry smoothie more vehemently and whipped out her sketchpad to channel her anger through art.
Ichigo crossed his legs and tried to think of anything that didn't involve slurping.
Shirosaki grinned. "Soup? Noodles? Rukia?"
Ichigo glared. "You're not helping."
He excused himself and went to the bathroom.
"That's it!" Rukia yelled, "Just what the hell is so interesting about that book?!" She slammed her fist on Ichigo's bed, but didn't procure the desired effect.
Ichigo didn't even look at her, but his scowl deepened by a millimeter. "What's wrong with you? I've been reading, that's all."
Rukia rose to her full height – which wasn't saying much – and pointed a rude finger at Ichigo. "Exactly, idiot! You have been ignoring your duties as a Shinigami Representative," and to me as well, "and your already pathetic focus is even more pathetic!"
Ichigo put down his book and gave Rukia an even look. The kind that made him look like he was thinking but in all actuality he was not. Because Ichigos do not think. They rush headlong into battle, they jump absurdly fast into conclusions (that are 99.9 wrong every time) and they grope without permission.
Ah. Ichigo and groping. Ichigo's hand in the most inappropriate of places. Ichigo's head in the–
"So that's it." Ichigo broke her dangerous train of thought and fixed her that thinking look again. And he did look like he was thinking. Though it made him look constipated… Thinking and constipated. Constipated and bathrooms. Bathrooms and showers.
She blinked.
"You think I'm not doing my duties," He continued.
Rukia had the good grace to point out that he said exactly what she said earlier.
Ichigo ignored her and dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand.
Hand. Ichigo's hand. Going up–
"Not as a Shinigami Representative but to you." He broke her train of thought again, just when it thought it might be a very good idea to pump some more steam. Pump…and steam. Dear God.
Rukia blinked two times.
Ichigo scratched a spot on his head. "Look. I don't have much time in my hands. I can't juggle studying…vital human information and you." He leaned his head against the headboard of his bed and it made a small but distinct bang.
Bang. As in gun bang and bang as in bang bang.
Rukia opened her mouth to speak.
Ichigo dove for the kill.
He was curled up around Rukia, arms around her and head buried in the junction of her neck and shoulder. She shifted to face the ceiling. Ichigo's arms tightened marginally and he nuzzled her neck.
"Ichigo," she croaked, voice hoarse – that may have been his fault – and throat dry – probably his fault too.
His hand skimmed the skin of her stomach and Rukia applauded herself for not letting out anything other than a breath of a moan.
"Hmm?" He was doing some very distracting things now, and Rukia fought to keep sober.
"Why – ah – were you so – mmm – interested in that book anyway?" The distracting things stopped and Rukia had half that mind to grab his hands and shove them to where it would be beneficial for both of them.
To her surprise, Ichigo laughed. No. He snickered. A combination of Ichigo laughing and Shirosaki…going on a killing spree. "You're a dumbass, huh?" He bent down the bed to recover his forgotten fairytale book.
Rukia wanted to kick his shin. She really, really did. But he just had to expose his naked ass by leaning over.
"Here." He shoved the book in her hands and urged her to open it. Still thinking about shoving beneficiaries as far as they could go, Rukia complied.
Vital human information, huh? "Kama Sutra?" She flipped a few pages. "Interesting…positions." She scrutinized the book and traced the figures with her index finger. "Oh. So this is where you got it? Interesting. However, one is insufficient. I'd like to try more of these."
Ichigo grinned, and in an instant had the book propped up for visual aids and her finger in his mouth. "Then let's get started."
Post-fic notes: I'm not much into comedic stories but I try to lighten the mood once in a while. Especially after For Old Long Ago which didn't exactly have a fairytale ending. I'd like to think that Rukia's sudden turn of mind for the perverted worse was brought by Ichigo neglecting his duties to her. In other words, deprivation. Anyway, that's just my view. Ya could think of some other interpretation.