I own the story, not the anime or manga. Sorry.

After Dinner Sleeper

Naruto hated Sai. That was no secret. He was just plain weird and always seemed to say all the wrong things at all the wrong times. He wanted to make friends, but he definitely had a strange way of doing it.

That night, he had to share a bed with him at the hotel they were staying at for a mission. Sakura had a room all to herself across the hall and there was no way in Hell she'd share with either of them.

Why, oh, why did there only have to be one bed? It was big enough, sure, but he didn't want to share a bed with… HIM.

After a huge turkey dinner, Team Kakashi went to their rooms for a good night's sleep. Naruto got dressed into his nightclothes in the bathroom, not wanting to hear any rude comments from the pale-pervert.

When he emerged, he found himself face-to-face with Sai clad in his black nightclothes. Sai greeted him with his usual smile and asked to use the bathroom. Naruto stepped aside and let him pass.

Jerk. I really hate him.

Naruto got into bed and waited. Sai came back and crawled into bed next to him.

"Could you move over?" Naruto asked. It was more of an order than a request. Sai scooted to his right. "More." He slid over more until he was practically hanging off the bed. "Fine." He didn't want Sai touching him at all.

Sai looked at Naruto. Naruto glared back.

Then Sai rubbed his stomach and said, "That was a good dinner, right?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Yeah."

"I haven't had turkey in a long time. It was really good."

"Just shut up and go to sleep."

Sai seemed taken aback by this. "But… I read in a book that when two friends share a room together that they are supposed to talk late into the night about stuff. The book called it a, umm… what was it? Oh, yeah! A sleepover."

The blond ninja rolled over slightly to look at him. "Sai, this isn't a sleepover and even if it was, I don't want to talk to you."

Sai blinked. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I just want to go to sleep."

Sai nodded. "Ok. If that's what you want." He turned his head and stared at the ceiling. Naruto rolled over and shut his eyes.

A few seconds later it started up again.

"Did you like the dinner?"

"SAI! GO TO SLEEP!!"

"Never mind." Sai turned back to the ceiling and yawned. Maybe sleep was a good idea. He needed his strength for tomorrow. He hiccupped.

"Sai..!"

"Sorry, it's the turkey." That's when he remembered something important. "Oh, and Naruto, I should tell you something."

"Wait until morning! Go to sleep and leave me alone!" He growled. At least he didn't call me a 'nickname'…

Sai shut his mouth and closed his eyes. Ok, but I tried to warn you.

Soon both ninja had fallen asleep.

A few minutes later Naruto woke up to find the bed shaking. He turned around to find Sai tossing in his sleep. He was turning this way and that, moaning.

He must be having a dream of some kind. Maybe a nightmare…

Naruto leaned closer and watched. He seemed to be mumbling and grunting about something in his sleep, but Naruto couldn't make it out. Now he was starting to flail about, his hand coming inches within Naruto's face. He gave a loud whine and scrunched his face up in discomfort.

Whatever he was dreaming about, it was cutting into Naruto's sleep time. He had to calm him down somehow or he'd never get back to sleep.

He reached down and nudged Sai gently. "Sai."

Said ninja whimpered. His movements slowed somewhat but didn't stop.

Naruto was at a loss for what to do next. He was afraid that if he woke him up he'd want to start up another conversation which Naruto wanted no part of. So it seemed that the best idea was to simply calm Sai down without waking him up. The only problem was how to do it.

Reluctantly, Naruto stroked Sai's arm in a calming manner and whispered to him in the same tone he had heard numerous mothers use when calming their children.

"Shhh, it's ok. Shh… Shh…"

Naruto's soft voice seemed to be working. Sai's thrashing calmed considerably and his moaning started to die down.

Seeing this as a good sign, Naruto kept it up. He patted Sai on the head and continued to shush him gently. Sai's face softened and became peaceful once more. He laid there quietly, in a sound sleep.

"Finally!" Naruto whispered in the dark and laid back down under the covers. If I'm going to be awake at this hour I can think of other things I'd rather be doing.

Ten minute later something else happened. Sai was shifting around again.

Aw, what now?!

Naruto turned to get up, but found himself pinned beneath a sleeping Sai. He had rolled over on top of him.

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed together. This was ridiculous! He tried to push Sai off his body, but to no avail. He was trapped. Sai was a lot heavier than he looked.

Sai started to move around again, giving Naruto hope that he'd roll off of him any second. Instead, Sai's arm wondered over Naruto's chest, his pale fingers tracing the blond's ribs. Naruto glanced down the length of bed to see if there was anyway out of this. There wasn't. Sai's right leg was wrapped around Naruto's, his arms were coiled around Naruto's and his tall body had him pinned in place. There was no escape.

Craning his neck around, he looked into Sai's face. He had a bit of drool trickling down his face coupled with a dumb sleepy smile. This was a side of Sai that Naruto had never seen before, and never wanted to see again.

Sai snored in his ear. That's it! He had enough. There was no way he was going to sleep like this tonight.

"Sai," Naruto whispered, trying to wake his teammate up cautiously.

Sai gave no response. Instead, he began to nuzzle Naruto's shoulder with is face.

Naruto's eye twitched. You've gotta be kidding me…

He cuddled his orange teddy bear affectionately. When it came to Sai, Naruto had a few issues with personal space. Sai was definitely breaking them with this action.

"Sai." Naruto tried again.

This time Sai gave a slightly different response- he hugged Naruto. He squeezed him tightly in both arms and giggled like a little boy hugging his first toy.

"You weird little freak..!" Naruto hissed. "Sai, get off!"

That didn't seem to do anything but arouse Sai in a different way. He vigorously started to hump Naruto's leg.

Naruto's eyes went wide as he tensed up, his breath catching in his throat. You're SO beyond KIDDING me!

Sai's motions became more pronounced as he rubbed his crotch against Naruto's stiff body. He mumbled something incoherently and started to calm down a little bit. That suited Naruto just fine.

After about another minute, Sai's body completely went limp as he drifted off into a deeper sleep. Naruto let out the breath he had been holding in the form of a great big sigh. Sai's body was warm and much more tolerable than a few moments ago now that he had calmed down. But Naruto still wanted him off.

"Sai…" he murmured softly. "Please get off of me."

Then, with a dreamy smile, Sai leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and snuggled into his warmth.

Naruto paused, blinked, and then looked up at Sai. What the Hell was THAT?! He was about to punch the horny ninja wake when he noticed how peaceful he looked. He had never seen Sai look so relaxed before in his life. He smiled at his sleeping friend and looked at the clock. He was due to get up in five hours. Maybe I should just let him sleep…

He placed his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. No sooner that he had done so did he feel Sai nuzzling his arm once more. He wriggled around for a moment then rested his head against Naruto's. He could feel Sai's warm breath tickle his cheek with each soft snore he gave.

It's going to be a LONG night…

Early the next morning Sai was the first to awaken from his long sleep. He buried his face in Naruto's neck, hiding his face from the light filtering through the large windows. He yawned in Naruto's face and stretched, rubbing his eyes groggily.

Sai was sent flying off the bed as Naruto became aware of his teammate's movements. Naruto sat up straight and glared at Sai, eyes ablaze. "YOU!"

"Yes?"

"You… you dirty, filthy-minded pervert!" Naruto spat, shaking his fist.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sai admitted.

"You kept me awake half the night with your sick, perverted sleeping habits! You were humping me last night! Don't try to deny it, I felt the whole thing!"

Sai looked up at him and nodded. "Oh, that. I tried to warn you last night, Naruto, but you didn't want to hear it. You told me to wait until morning to tell you and here I am."

Naruto cocked his head to the side, confused. "Huh?"

"Remember last night when I brought up the turkey?"

"You didn't put anything in that, did you?"

"What? No, of course not, no! Nothing like that." Sai stood up, dusting himself off before he continued. "There's a reason why I haven't had it for a long time. The funny thing about turkey is that it affects my sleeping pattern."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding."

"No it's true. Once my brother and I went out on a mission and had to camp out. We brought along turkey sandwiches for lunch. Later that night we went to sleep in the same tent. The next day, my brother told me everything I had done in my sleep. I couldn't remember any of it."

"Really? What did you do?"

"According to his note, I was thrashing around, whimpering, muttering, and after that I became very affectionate. I started to cuddle my brother in my sleep. He even said that I had kissed him on the head and humped him up good." Sai paused shaking his head with an amused smile. "Weird, huh?"

"Weird nothing!" Naruto shouted. "If you knew that that's how you get after you eat turkey, then why did you eat it last night?!"

Sai shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I thought it would be different this time. Maybe I didn't care." Seeing Naruto's vengeful glare he added, "But I also forgot since it happened so long ago. No harm done, right?"

The enraged Naruto rose from the bed and bellowed, "NOT YET!!!" Sai took off running and Naruto chased after him. "You put me through that and tell me it's no big deal?! I'm scared for life now! Come here!"

Later Sai would have to read if beating your teammate half to death after a screwed up sleepover involving sleepwalk-inducing turkey and humping your comrade was a sign of friendship, while he recovered in the hospital.

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How was it? I love Sai so much, I just had to do a story about him. Can you imagine him doing this to Naruto?! Please review!