Dislcaimer: Um Yeah so the characters, while they are nice and all, don't even come close to belonging to me...

Spike limped out of Willie's and headed home. The Slayer's last beating session had been pretty bad and he still wasn't up to par. He decided to go by the Slayer's house on his way home. He knew his Little Bit had been acting up lately, driving the Slayer nuts; maybe he would just pop in and tell her she needed to cool it.

He hadn't seen her for a bit, well for…over a month! He wondered if she missed him. Probably not with big sis home… but wait, when was big sis home with Bit?

She was working crazy hours at that fast food gig, she was patrolling every night, then she was beating or fucking him for hours after, she was probably hardly ever there with Dawn.

No wonder Dawn was trying so hard to keep their attention.

He was almost at the Slayer's house when he noticed the flashing lights of rescue vehicles. He broke into a run thinking of when the Slayer had told him she wanted to be back in heaven.

The sight that met his eyes froze his blood. The Slayer and the Scoobies were huddled and crying, all there, except Dawn. He scanned the area and finally saw her on a gurney being loaded into the ambulance. She was staring straight ahead, glazed, with no glimmer in her eyes.

He ran up to the Whelp, knowing that though the carpenter disliked him, he didn't hate him so much lately. "Harris? What happened to Dawn?"

Xander turned his red swollen eyes toward the vampire. "She, she took a bunch of Joyce's old meds, strong ones, she's in a coma. They have to take her and pump her stomach or give her charcoal or something. God, she's just a kid..."

Spike grabbed Buffy. "Why the bloody hell aren't you goin' with 'er?"

Buffy sobbed, "They won't let me. They said they're calling Social Services. I, I didn't show them this." She handed Spike a note that Spike, who had completely sobered by now. He immediately smelled Dawn's tears on it. He began to read.

To My Family,

Buffy,

I am so sorry those stupid monks destroyed your life like this. If they had just created me and immediately destroyed me you would have been spared this painful part of your life. You never would have been yanked from heaven because you wouldn't have died to save a lie, me. I hope your life gets better now; you will be able to quit that stupid job and get a cheaper place to live. You won't have to worry about feeding or clothing me. You won't have to worry about me at all. I want you to be able to be happy Buffy, and you can't seem to be with me around.

I love you, even if I am a lie.

Willow and Tara,

You are my sisters in my heart. I'm sorry I caused you to lose your friend, your sister, your idol. I know Willow was destroyed and lost without Buffy. I really do understand why you needed her back. I wish I could have stopped you from hurting. Thank you for caring for me even though I didn't deserve it. I love you both.

Xander,

You were my first crush, but not really, because the monks planted that memory, but I do love you. You were a great big brother though and that is better. Thank you for your warmth and humor. I am sorry you had to watch your hero die, I should have jumped, you all would have been better off, I'm sorry.

Anya,

You were always blunt with me and I usually liked it. I hope you make large profits. Take care of Xander please.

Giles,

You wanted to kill me, you should have.

Spike,

I am so sorry I stole the woman you love away! It should have been me who jumped. No one needed me, you all needed Buffy. I am sorry I couldn't do what needed to be done, but I have now. She will be free and unburdened, she won't be so angry all the time and maybe she'll realize how much you love her. Maybe things would have been better if I hadn't been pushed into your lives, maybe you would have gotten your shot at dating my sister. Thank you for protecting me. You told me the one lie that actually made me feel better and I want to thank you for it, you told me all the things you had done for me were for me, not for Buffy. I knew it was a lie but to know that you'd bother to lie was worth it. You will always be in my hear,t I love you.

Love eternally,

Dawn

Tears streamed down Spike's face and his body shook. How the hell could she think he lied? "I didn't bloody lie! I never lied to her."

Buffy had walked over to a man in a suit near the ambulance and talked for a few moments. She walked back to Spike and gripped his arm. "Spike, we have to go, we need to be at the hospital with her, the Social Services guy's son went to high school with me, he knows about stuff. He's clearing me to keep her."

Spike grabbed the keys from Buffy and they climbed into the SUV that used to belong to her mother. All Spike could think was, I can't lose her.