The duo is in a small room filled with chairs and a small table off to the side with refreshments. There are only two people in the room besides them. Ryter looks over to Harpie.

Ryter: You sure about this? I mean, yeah I've been a little laze lately, but there's no way that THIS is gonna make me feel like writing anything.

Harpie shakes her head and putting out more coffee and cookies.

Harpie: Would you relax? Sides, you're gonna have to pick anyway, and I'm sure at some point you'll need a little rehab too. It'll be a good way to jump right back into the stories right.

Harpie gently punches Ryter's shoulder

Ryter: I gues…

Shikamaru: You two are like a freakin' after school special ya know that?

He's sitting in a chair wearing a Santa Claus outfit and staring blankly at the ceiling. Lee is a few seats away from him and is quick to defend the two writers.

Lee: AH! Lay off ya no good lazy bum! They are just expressing their youth!

Ryter squeals and wraps her arms around her Lee

Ryter: LEE-SAMA!

She sticks out her tongue at Harpie

Ryter: See? Only my Lee has any manners!

Shikamaru rolls his eyes.

Shika: Whatever. Could we get on with this?

Harpie frowns and stands before the group

Harpie: Very well. Hello everyone!
Welcome to the Rehab Center for fictional characters.
Umm, alright.
Let's get right to it

She looks around the room for a quick second before her eyes land on Shika who looks like he's about to fall asleep. She glares at him, and sends her best 'I will kill you later smile his way'.

Harpie: Who wants to start us off?
How about you Shik??

Shikamaru groans inwardly. He just knew it was coming.

Shikamaru: Umm, alright.
Hey, I'm Shikamaru.
I'm a sex addict.

There's a collective Hi Shikamaru from the group. He shakes his head and starts to light a cigarette, but Harpie pulls it away from him and points to a 'No Smoking' sign. He just glares at her.

Shikamaru: Hey I'm Santa Clause. I'm the king of snow.
I hate my wife because she's a ho, ho, ho.

There's a giggle from Ryter, but Shika ignores it. He's far away in his own world thinking about his current situation with Temari. His face goes soft at the thought of yellow hair and soft skin.

Shika: She used to please me every day, then she made it clear. Santa's only supposed to come once a year.

Shika frowns again and once more reaches for a cigarette and puts one in his mouth, but doesn't light it. He looks off to the side and growls so low that no one can hear it.

Shika: Fuckin Bitch.

Harpie tsks at him, but lets him continue. He gives her an evil smirk and eyes her up and down as he continues.

Shikamaru: Now I buy whores, rock and roll, and I stuff their stockings with my north pole...

Harpie coughs into her hand to hide her blush. She raises her other one to get him to shut-up.

Harpie: ...Okay Shika, thank you!
Alright, who wants to go next?
Lee...frowny face!
Get up here.

Ryter pouts and stares at Harpie for taking away her living plushie. Lee frowns but goes up to the front of the room to tell his story. He looks a little nervous, but still tries his hardest to smile at everyone.

Lee: Alright.
I'm Rock Lee, I'm a leprechaun.
You all doin' good?
Yeah, I'm not doing so good.

Lee sighs and runs a hand through his hair, messing up his perfect bowl cut. He smiles softly as he thinks about his past life.

Lee: I had a wonderful life, with a healthy household,
and beautiful wife and a pot full of gold. Ha.

He gives a good guy pose and shows a picture of Sakura in a wedding dress. Ryter snarls, but everyone else looks unimpressed. He deflates instantly and puts away the picture looking bitter.

Lee: Then my wife spent my riches all by herself, and since women are bitches, blew a Keebler elf.

A picture of a smirking Sasuke wearing a Keebler elf outfit comes up behind him. He's doing a mock version of the good guy pose. A pink mass of hair blocks out his lower half. Lee sniffles and let's manly tears flow down his cheeks. He raises a hand and wipes them away.

Lee: Uh, now I drink all day and a part of me dies.
Cuz my wife is getting gang-banged by the Rice Krispie guys.

Kakashi: Hey I know them.

Harpie is not surprised to see that he's late. She is surprised however that he has a fake tiger tail and ears. She shakes her head.

Harpie: Oh, hey Kashi.
Nice of you to show up.
Where were you last week?

Kakashi scratches behind his head, but doesn't look really concerned about her annoyance.

Kakashi: I had some, uh...some stuff to take care of.

Ryter and Harpie raise an eyebrow at the same time. He shrugs again and continues.

Kakashi: Hey, I'm Kakashi the tiger…
Fuck it.
I'll just sing it.

He takes a deep breath and thinks about how his day started with Tsunade.

Kakashi: Every day I wake up, and I get to work late.
My boss says, 'Hey, what's up?'
I say that I'm grrrrrrrr…owing tired of this shit.

Ryter, who has at this point grabbed Lee into a hug, rolls her eyes at the depressed Tony the Tiger wanna be. Kakashi sees this and slumps back in his seat.

Kakashi: The kids they laugh, 'cause I'm a sensitive cat.

Ryter chuckles and yells out so the whole room can hear.

Ryter: Big pussy!

Kakashi: I can't argue with that.

Everyone in the room almost feels bad for him at this point. Kakashi leans forward and puts his chin in his hands, frowning in deep contemplation.

Kakashi: If another kid gives me frosted flakes,
I swear on my life...I'll eat his parents.

His visible eye curves into a crescent moon as he smiles at the image of the great copy nin mauling some genin's parents. If the kid even has any parents, half of the rookies he got don't. Harpie walks over and pats his back.

Harpie: Okay Ton, thank you.
So that's everybody.
So let's just get down to it....

There's the sound of flipping chairs from the back of the room. Everyone turns their attention to the snack table where a kid with bunny ears and a fluffy tail is drinking the coffee straight from the pot. Harpie throws a shoe at his head, stopping the frenzied raiding of the table.

Harpie: You're new aren't you? I thought I knew everybody here. Why don't you introduce yourself?

Naruto turns around with a mouth full of cookies and the pot still clutched in shaking hands.

Naruto: Yeah, hi, yeah, hi, Yeah, hi.

Ryter frowns and moves closer to Lee as she stares at the spazzing boy ninja in orange. He swallows the cookies in his mouth and stands up on the table yelling at the top of his lungs and giving everyone in the room a creepy smile.

Naruto: I'm the Easter bunny, hey I'm back!
Used to be funny now I'm hooked on crack.

Shikamaru leans over and whispers to Kakashi.

Shikamaru: I knew he was on something WAAAAYYYY before he came to rehab.

Kakashi chuckles and nods his agreement. Naruto doesn't hear and keeps going.

Naruto: Heaps of heroine ain't no joke, marshmellow peeps covered in coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke.

He hugs the coffee pot to his chest and does a ballerina spin.

Naruto: COKE!

He hops from the table and literally starts bouncing off the walls. He hits the ceiling fan and hangs onto the spinning blade giggling and laughing like he's lost his mind.

Naruto: Drugs for life, that's my plan, but now I have no attention span...

He sees a sparkly through the open door and runs out of the room to chase it. Harpie just stares for a moment then stands up to follow him.

Harpie: Okay, I'm just going to go and get him, alright?
Play nice please. I'll be right back.

As soon as she leaves the room, Shikamaru gets out of his seat and moves to sit next to Lee. Lee gives him a worried look but smiles in order to be polite. Ryter glares at him and hugs Lee tighter as Shika leans in close to speak to him.

Shikamaru: Hey Lee did you hear? All my elves got sick.
I think they got herpes from a pink haired chick.

Ryter stares at him opened mouth while Kakashi nearly falls out of his chair laughing. Lee clenches his fist and swings at Shika's head. He misses before turning and throwing Kakashi a look.

Lee: Mother fucker...
What you laughin' Kashi, huh?

Kakashi wipes away a tear, but keeps laughing when he sees the look on Lee's face.

Kakashi: 'Cause it's funny!

Lee's about to get up and start fighting with them, but Ryter hugs him even tighter and gives him a pleading look. He sighs and settles down in his seat, covering his face with his hands.

Lee: This is gettin ridiculous.
Shika, Kakashi could you guys please stop?

The green beast gives them a hopeful look. Kakashi stops laughing and sits up looking serious.

Kakashi: Oh Snap.....Crackle and Pop!

Shikamaru snickers at this and Kakashi falls back laughing again. Lee frowns and his face goes red. Shikamaru puts a hand on his back still chuckling.

Shikamaru: It's funny, cuz they banged your wife.

Lee shrugs out of Ryter's hold and walks towards the door muttering to himself.

Lee: I'm getting out of here.
This is fucking ridiculous

Ryter stares as he leaves, and then turns back to the two laughing guys in the room. She cracks her knuckles in annoyance. Harpie comes back fifteen minutes later pulling a restrained Naruto along with her. Santa Shikamaru and Kakashi the Tiger are both laid out flat on the ground. It's hard to tell where one of their bruised up bodies end and the other one begins. Harpie drops Naruto and groans at the sight before her. Ryter huffs and crosses her arms.

Ryter: WHAT?! They had it coming!

Harpie: You might need anger management.

Ryter: They made Lee leave! I hate when Lee-kun's upset!

Harpie just sighs and pulls out a cell phone to call for an ambulance.

Harpie: You feel like writing yet?

Ryter: No, but I do feel a little better. Maybe I'll figure something out. I just hope our reviewers will understand.

Harpie pats her one the back.

Harpie: I'm sure they will. I'm sure they will.