A/N: I wrote this as a part of the 25 Days of Ficmas. The prompt for this story was 'Mistletoe'. I wrote this pretty quickly and I did my best to edit it but I was trying to get it done before midnight. I hope you enjoy it and I'm not done with the rest of the fics so feel free to request couples.
I was bored, I mean this was a party and it should be fun but everyone else is drinking and I'm sitting in the kid's corner with the only other people who can't drink. I know Charlotte isn't drinking either and that makes me feel better but still. It's just the temptation of seeing everyone else with a wine glass in their hand. I want to be able to drink with everyone else. That's what the holidays are for right?
While the kids are distracted I decided to go find some food to fill the craving. I bumped into Charlotte in the doorway as I was walking into the kitchen. "Sorry," I said before glancing up and noticing we were standing under mistletoe. "We have to kiss," I said with my naturally cheeky smile.
She rolled her eyes, "I'm with Coop, Amelia."
I hoped that she wasn't rejecting my idea because this is just about the only fun thing I'm still allowed to do and it's not like kissing is that big of a deal. "I didn't ask you to marry me, Charlotte, it's just a kiss. It's not that big of a deal," I said as I leaned in and kissed her before she had a chance to respond.
She was shocked but she didn't pull away and we ended up kissing for longer than I'd expected, luckily no one saw us. When she finally pulled away she pushed passed me before I could see her face. I certainly wouldn't have expected to kiss her like that and I didn't want to let her go, but I knew that she was married, so I tried to push my feelings away.
I spent a lot of the rest of the night with Mason, Lucas, and Henry, and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves when I decided to slip away for the second time that night. I ended up wandering up to my bedroom and I saw Charlotte sitting on my bed. "You lost?" I wondered aloud.
"I - Um, what was that? Earlier?" she asked. I tried to look as if I had no idea what she was talking about but she and I both knew that, that kiss was more than a friendly kiss under the mistletoe, but she was married. She was married. I'd reminded myself that thousands of times throughout night but it wasn't making me feel any better. I knew I was going crazy because I couldn't fall for someone that's married, I'd never fallen for a women, and I certainly couldn't fall for a married woman. That would be insane.
"There was mistletoe, we followed the age old law and kissed, that's that," I said, trying not to let my emotions show because as bad as it is that I can't get our kiss out of my head, there is no way I can let her know that because she is married and I'm not a home wrecker. I mean I've done a lot of things that I shouldn't have done but I don't want to destroy a marriage over nothing, hell, I kissed her husband, while they were married, I've already come close to destroying their marriage once. I don't need to try and take another shot at ruining what's not mine to ruin.
"That's that?" she asked and I nodded. I knew that, that had to be that, a much as I wanted to kiss her again. I also kind of wanted to turn the other way and run as far away from this conversation as I possibly could but I knew that I couldn't do that. I couldn't run away because then she would know that I know it was more than a kiss. I needed to discuss this with her but there was no way I was going to discuss this with her when her husband is just a staircase away, because on the off chance he walks in, I don't want to risk it.
"Can we talk about this later? Maybe you could come over tomorrow morning and we can have coffee?" I offered. I didn't know what I was planning on saying but I knew that it wasn't going to happen tonight.
"Fine. Does 9a.m. work for you?" I knew I wasn't going to be able to get to sleep because I was going to be paranoid for the rest of the night about what we were going to discuss and I knew that I shouldn't be because she was married and I needed to keep reminding myself that.
"That sounds good," I said with a smile as she walked past me back out to the party.
I was right, I barely slept that night and I know that was my fault. I shouldn't have been obsessing over this, after all it was just a kiss. I mean, I should have gone to sleep and forgotten about everything. Instead, I stayed up for around twenty-four hours and ended up pacing back and forth in the kitchen waiting for Charlotte to get there so that we could discuss the kiss that I've been obsessing over and I know that's a horrible idea. I'd had the phone in my hand for the thirty minutes because I was considering just calling and cancelling. There is no reason why we couldn't just go on with our lives and pretend as though it never happened, hell, I think that was probably a brilliant idea, one that I probably should have brought up then because I know there is no way that I was ever going to consider bringing it up because I didn't want to forget and I certainly didn't want her to forget.
She got there at exactly nine and I opened the door after spending another minute freaking out about what I was going to say to her when she did come in. It wasn't until she came in that I realized I'd forgotten to even make coffee, which probably adds to this list of reasons that I should have been freaking out. "Good morning, I'm just going to put some coffee on. You can have a seat," I said, realizing that I probably seemed really awkward and I shouldn't be because it's just Charlotte and we're junkies together, right? We're practically best friends.
"Thanks," she said and I noticed that she was acting awkward too, which was probably a good thing because maybe it meant she felt the way I did when we kissed and that would be good, kind of. I mean, if she did, feel the same way that is, then that means I successfully broke up a marriage. But, on the other hand, if she didn't then I'm about to have a really awkward conversation with the woman I'm crushing on about how she felt nothing towards me. I know that for everything between us and our friends to continue normally, she needed to feel know towards me, but I also know that it won't be and that kind of freaks me out because it should be. We shouldn't have felt anything and we should simply forget the whole ordeal, then no one gets hurt, I mean besides me but I can deal.
"So, um, last night?" I started but I wasn't exactly sure what to say because I didn't even know how she felt about everything and I didn't want to start saying things only to end up regretting them later. I knew just about anything I said I would've ended up regretting, mostly because I wanted to tell her that I enjoyed the kiss, I wanted to tell her that I liked her, I wanted to tell her a million things that I knew I couldn't.
"Last night can't happen again, Amelia," she said and I understood what she meant, she meant we needed to prevent it from it happening again which sounds to me like she's worried she might kiss me again. Which I know isn't good, but, hey, I'll take what I can get.
"I know," I said and I realized that I sounded upset but there was no way I could get around it. If she wanted to do anything it was up to her. I liked Cooper a lot though, and I really don't want to hurt him. I just, really didn't want to let Charlotte go, either.
"I'm sorry, Amelia, but if we're gonna do this. If we're going to be friends again then I think we should spend some time apart before we try being friends again," she said.
I wasn't even sure how she wanted me to respond, half of me couldn't even believe that she was serious because she was my only female friend and she was saying that we weren't going to be friends. "You don't want to be friends?" I asked.
"It's not forever, just for now, because I can't deal with these feelings for you while I'm married to Coop, Amelia," she said. I was going to pretend like I understood but to be honest, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what was happening then because I wanted nothing more than for us to be together but she didn't want that and it was really hard for me to deal with. How was I supposed to deal with that fact that she didn't even want to be friends with me, for however long it takes for her to remember that Cooper is more important.
"I don't think I can do this then. I mean I don't really have anything holding me here. Addison has Henry now and you are with Cooper, if you aren't even going to be my friend, then I think I should probably just go. So, I'm going to look for apartments in New York and when I find a place I'm going to move because this place isn't good for me," I said and I was holding back tears but after everything that happened with Ryan and Michelle, and my relapse with drugs I just couldn't find a reason to stay and I know that was a lot to put on her but I couldn't.
"Amelia, you can't be serious."
"I'm so sorry, because I know it was my idea for the stupid kiss under the stupid mistletoe and I didn't expect for it to end up like this but it opened my eyes to a lot and I think I need to find myself again and I can't do that somewhere where my past is holding me back. I'm sorry Charlotte," I said and I knew that it was wrong of me but there wasn't really anything else I could have done to change my feelings because I had to leave. I had to leave. I couldn't spend my life in my past because I felt as though everywhere I looked there was a reminder of another thing that I couldn't have and maybe New York is the wrong place to go but I'll find somewhere.
"Amelia. It was just a kiss, for god's sake. We can get past this, don't be ridiculous," she insisted.
"Charlotte, you and I both know it wasn't just a kiss and for you to deny that, that's why I have to leave," I said and she started too walked over to me. She pulled something out of her pocket and then held it over my head, then kissed me. I knew immediately that it was mistletoe, and not just any piece, it was the piece we had kissed under.
"I know it wasn't just a kiss, Amelia, but I can't do this to Coop. Do you know how much this would hurt him? How much I've already hurt him. I let him believe I changed and I needed to have changed, Amelia, so I can't do this. I have to pretend like it was just mistletoe, it was a friendly kiss, nothing more, and you can't say anything about it okay?" she asked and I shook my head.
"I can't do this Charlotte, I'm sorry, but I've been hurt too much already. It's all or nothing."
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought of the story!