A/n: I do not own any seishi, tragically, so there is no way you can loan one from me! So don't call my house!

Seiryuu & Suzaku Seishi for Loan/Rent!

Seishi: How Tamahome and Sansele talked us into this we'll never know…

(Tamahome and Sansele climb on chairs.)

Sansele: To all you fans of the seishi of Fushigi Yuugi,

Tamahome: And to all those simply dying for them,

Sansele: We bring you this amazing offer:

Both: Seiryuu and Suzaku Seishi for Rent!

(Lots of grumbling from behind them.)

Sansele (Turns): Face it; someone will do this, even if we don't…

Tamahome: Ahem. Who do we have up for loaning, Sansele?

Sansele: We have all the bishounen and ladies from Suzaku and Seiryuu sides…

(Aside)

Sansele: Tamahome, I'm not reading this part.

Tamahome: Why?

Sansele: Because it's not true.

Tamahome: You have to say this. Then all the hentai fan-girls will come…

(Turns back to fans)

Tamahome: Do you require one who is intelligent and yet kawaii? Look no further.

Sansele: We have Chiriko!

(Chiriko is pushed out unceremoniously.)

Chiriko: This is unfair…

(After a few seconds of fan-girls fighting to get to him, someone pulls him back.)

Sansele: Or do you wish for someone who truly understands classical music?

Tamahome: We have Amiboshi!

(Amiboshi steps out, and two yoyo-like things hit Sansele.)

Sansele: Ow! Wait your turn, Suboshi!

Suboshi: How dare you bully my aniki!

(Fan-girls start screaming, Amiboshi moves back quickly.)

Tamahome: Or do you want someone who can assist you with fashion?

Sansele: There is Nuriko!

(Nuriko moves out.)

Nuriko: Hi! (Aside: Tamahome, Sansele, stop it before I punch you through the roof…)

Both (Sweatdrops): Uh…

(Nuriko walks back amidst catcalls)

Sansele: Or do you require

Tamahome: Someone

Sansele: Hotter?

(Fan-girls look interested.)

Tamahome: Or perhaps someone:

Sansele: Tamahome! I'm not reading this!

Tamahome: Please, otherwise we won't loan anyone out…

Tamahome: Or perhaps someone

Sansele: …Sexier?

(Fan-girls are edging closer to the chairs)

Sansele: We have Tasuki!

Tasuki: I am so going to *&*%^$# kill both of you…

Tamahome: Chichiri!

Chichiri: Daaaaa…

Sansele: Nakago!

Tamahome: He's not hot!

(Fan-girls attempt to get to the bishounen. Nakago glares at Tamahome; Sansele gives a significant glance to Tamahome.)

Tamahome: Oh. Well…Hotohori!

Hotohori: Of course, of course…

(By now, hentai fan-girls are fainting all over the place or screaming their lungs out.)

Tamahome: And these are only the beginning!

Sansele: Fourteen different seishi to choose from!

Tamahome: Two Seiryuu for the price of one Suzaku!

Sansele: For enquiries and auctions, call my house…

Tamahome: Free whipped cream!

(Other seishi stare at him.)

Tamahome: Uh…

Sansele: Oh, by the way, Tamahome, I decided that you weren't my business partner anymore, so I am going to loan you out as well!

Tamahome: No!

Sansele: Oh yes! (Pushes him off chair)

Sansele: Oh, but these are not available. Suboshi, who Yui insists must stay with her, Tama…oh never mind about him, otherwise everyone else can be loaned! Hurry…limited seishi for a limited time!

(All seishi run back to Sansele's house, while Sansele starts taking orders.)