by Jess Angel
His mind felt like it would never be rid of her. Whenever he closed his eyes, her face reappeared. Whenever the night came, she plagued his dreams.
Then one day he couldn't take it any longer. He was going to do it. He was going to finally kill her. The one thing he never succeeded in. Him. The Perfect Soldier, someone who not once hesitated in doing anything for the 'mission'. Dr. J had told him to destroy anything or anyone who got in the way of completing his missions. And she was in the way, or had been in the way. The war had been over only three weeks, but she was still a distraction, an annoyance. Without so many missions to accomplish, his thoughts had a tendency to drift to her more often. Before, he could just brush it aside for the good of the mission -- but now… now he could only analyze the effect she had on him, his inability to kill her.
…It was just something about her. She was so innocent, pure, and perhaps a bit naïve. She had been untainted by the world of war, in her own reality. It was a world of peace that she could make come true for the real world and the Colonies.
There were so many times he threatened her life, and she would look at him with an acceptance, tell him she understood, then stand there waiting for him to end her life. And he would never follow through. After countless attempts to end her life, she also continued to treat him with kindness and still chase him. She never once gave up in trying to locate his whereabouts. In some way, she always succeeded too. She confused him.
Who would want to find the very person that wanted to kill them?
'That was then this is now.' With his gun in hand, Heero crept into the night watching her.
Relena quietly walked out into her mansion's foyer that led to the garden. It was nice to spend some time alone for once. It had been a long week for her with all the political meetings, overflowing stack of paperwork, and social parties. They were starting to take its toll on her mentally and physically. The young Peacecraft made her way to a lone bench surrounded by rose bushes. After sitting down, she shut her eyes to rest.
The occasional chirping cricket was the only thing that broke the tranquil silence. Relena's thoughts began to wander to the Gundam pilots. She wondered how they were doing. Now that she thought about it, she really missed them. Though she didn't know them all too well, she thought of them as friends.
Her eyes opened to take in the late evening sky. 'Just like his eyes.' Those eyes that were said to hold no emotion. Her thoughts began to linger on the particular Gundam pilot.
She was startled out of her reverie as she noticed a dark figure outlined by the shadows. "Who's there?" she called out, her voice never wavering. The form soundlessly glided into the light of the moon. Moon beams began to illuminate unruly brown hair, then intense blue eyes to finely chiseled facial features, making their way to broad shoulders clad in a green tank top, and finally going past black shorts to rubber shoes.
"Heero," she spoke softly, recognizing the one who stood only five feet away from her.
Something tugged inside him as her voice said his name. Ignoring the sensation, he fixed his eyes on hers.
As aquamarine clashed with Prussian blue, a wordless conversation ensued. Even after it ended, their gazes never faltered. Finally, he watched her nod understandingly and slowly rise from the bench to stand and face him.
'Why doesn't she run away? She's knows why I'm here.' Part of him wanted her to run, save herself from him. Quickly squashing the thought, he spoke, "Relena, I am going to kill you."
While standing there, Relena thought she saw a question in his eyes. But before she could dwell on it, his voice interrupted, "Relena, I am going to kill you."
With a smile, she replied, "I know."
Yes, this was the boy she fell in love with. The Perfect Soldier, green tank top wearing, "Omae o Korosu" Heero Yuy. He had given her inspiration and strength without him knowing it. The way he always stood tall taking everything thrown at him and tossing it back. He was strong inside and out. And that made her long to be like him, being able to face anything without fear.
She was so close to him now. She could reach him - touch him. But one thing stood in her way; the classic thought of rejection blocked her every move. She always told herself that it was silly. He was human. He could love like anyone else. He just needed someone to show him that he could. Then every once in a while a voice in her head would discourage her and say, 'What if your not the one? You'll make a fool of yourself trying to accomplish something destined for someone else. And if you do accomplish it, what if you're not the one he is supposed to love? What if you're only there to make him realize he can love? What then?'
'What then?' The thought seemed to taunt her. 'Could you live knowing you showed him how to love and watch him turn to love someone else? Could you stand him giving you a friendly hug then see him go to another for a lover's kiss?'
Something inside her began to retaliate the thoughts. 'But you have to! You must! Don't be selfish. And what if you are the one? The one to both show him how to love and be loved by him. His true happiness depends on you. Don't lose the opportunity before you even give it a get chance.'
"I know," was all she said, her mouth curling up into a smile. His eyes followed the movement of her lips. He blinked twice forcing his gaze back to her eyes. Before he could stop himself, his previous thought escaped his lips, "Why don't you run from me?"
He cursed himself inwardly. The question would just stall his awaited actions. But he was curious, though his voice remained emotionless. Though he and the other Gundam pilots were known as heroes, he knew that many feared the infamous Perfect Soldier, especially if he was their enemy. Then why didn't she fear him?
Relena was a bit taken back by the question. She knew that Heero was not one to talk much except his occasional threatening. In fact, she felt slightly honored that he even bothered to ask her something.
She answered calmly, "Like I've said before, I know why you have to kill me. I didn't at first, but now I do. I know too much. I could endanger your life and missions. And well I'm not going to make it harder for you by running. If this is what you have to do then by all means go ahead and do it."
Heero watched, as her eyes seem to gleam with a challenge. Her response had earned his respect. It showed her confidence and courage. But then again Relena Darlian Peacecraft had always had some token of his esteem. She was the girl who had help aid the Earth and the Colonies to peace. No small task, he knew.
Something inside him knew that she would play a key roll in the path to peace. Yet he had to know why his well-being or location was her concern. She didn't deserve to be burdened by his welfare.
"Why?" he simply asked.
Relena looked at him quizzically. "Why? Why what?"
"Why do you concern yourself with me?"
Relena felt her face heat up momentarily. 'Because as hard as it is to believe, Heero Yuy, I love you.' Had she had enough courage, she would have said it gladly, without hesitation, but sadly, Relena didn't. She had to think of something quick.
"Because you saved the world, the Colonies from certain destruction. You're a hero, Heero." Relena felt herself grin at the pun. She paused thoughtfully and then added, "You deserve to be treated accordingly. The least I can do is make sure you're okay and haven't fallen off the face of the Earth or the Colonies for that matter."
Relena watched as he took her words in, evaluating every aspect carefully. She could tell he didn't buy it completely, but it seemed he decided not to question her… yet, anyway. It was good enough for now. Plus, it would give her sometime to think of a more convincing explanation, should he ever choose to uncover the whole truth.
Heero nodded his head after a moment, acknowledging her reason. It was a sensible answer. He'd give her that, but he could tell there was something more. He didn't want to press the issue further. His instincts told him to wait. For what? He wasn't sure.
"Aren't you going to kill me yet, Heero?"
"Hn," was his only reply.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to kill her. She was still very much needed by everyone. The people still needed to be reassured that peace would succeed and wars would no longer thrive.
"The people need you. You're no threat to me any more," he stated, returning his weapon to its hiding place and turned to leave.
He was leaving, and he wasn't going to kill her after all. Maybe, just maybe, she had a chance. Resolve rising within her she called out to him, "So, I'll see you later, Heero. I would really appreciate it if I got to see the person who always ensures my safety." She watched as he paused and nodded, still not turning to face her.
That was it he guessed. This would be the last time he saw Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, or actually, the last time she saw him. He would return to the shadows to guard the Dove of Peace precious to a changing world that needed her guidance.
"So, I'll see you later, Heero. I would really appreciate it if I got to see the person who always ensures my safety."
Too surprised at her words to turn around, he nodded.
"Goodnight, Heero."
He heard her light footsteps retreat back to her home.
"Goodnight, Relena," he answered, his mouth giving into a slight smile.
·:·. Fin..·:·
Author's Note: This is a little piece that deals with Heero and Relena coming to a start in a relationship. Endless Waltz never happened. This is my first actually completed post. Comments and constructive criticism appreciated.
June 21, 2004. Looking back at this, I realize the idea was and has become even more overused. Old-work cringing aside, as my first fic I still take a certain pride in it. Also, there's a sequel to this called "To Realize."