Two stories in one day, I'm on a roll! lol

Originally this was supposed to be a Oneshot, but I realized that it would be more of a short story...lol If you guys want me to continue then I will. I am enjoying writing this one as it involves my 3 favorite characters. :)

Once this story closes I can exclusively work on my sequel. So we'll see how this one does. More chapters to come!

Nothing but Trouble

Chapter 1

Peace and quiet...

It was all Lady had wanted all week. Time to relax and let her aching muscles take a well deserved break, but even she knew there was no rest for the wicked. As long as there were wicked things in the world she would have no rest.

She had finally managed to find just such a quiet moment. She soaked in a steamy bath that felt so good she could've wept. Of course she wouldn't though, as she had left those behind that day in Temen-ni-gru. Oh yes, that incident that had somehow managed to change her outlook on her mission. To kill all demons when she found them, but now with two exceptions.

Dante and Vergil...

Lady leaned back in the tub, not wanting to think of those two just now. Vergil, well, he thankfully left her alone. Dante however seemed to think of her as a personal assistant to be called whenever he needed a second person for a job. Thanks to his request for her help her caseload had exploded and she had trouble finding time to even think clearly.

This time she had managed to lose Dante. She had recently moved without mentioning it to him and hadn't seen him in over a month. Despite this she still found plenty of things to keep her busy. But she wasn't as overwhelmed as she had been.

She placed a washcloth over her eyes and let herself just drift away. It was amazing how a little warm water could feel so damned good. She could hear the fall of the tap water by her feet, and the feel of the ripples it made near her toes. As she listened intently to its rhythm though, she heard something else. It sounded like someone was moving around just below her.

"Damn it all." She growled as she stood, wrapped a towel about her, and grabbed the small handgun she'd kept close at all times. She gave the steamy bath one last mournful glance before slowly opening the bathroom door. She turned the corner quickly to make sure her path was clear. She did it more out of cautious habit as the sound came again, and it was definitely downstairs.

Lady made her way down the steps, her feet padding water in her wake. She crossed the room slowly and stood by the kitchen door. She could hear an odd tinkling with some shuffling noises. As she glanced around the corner her eyebrow went up as she realized someone was going through her fridge. All that was visable of the bent figure was a pair of laquer black boots, and a long overcoat that followed them a few inches from floor. Her eyes narrowed.

"HOW did you find me?" She snapped, dropping her stance and stalking towards the open fridge door. Dante stood to his full height from crouching to dig through her leftovers.

"You're out of beer." He stated with a frown, not paying her much mind. Lady kicked the door closed and gave him an evil glare.

"Get out!" She snapped at him again, pulling the leftover Chinese from his hand as he sniffed at it. "I told you NOT to follow me anymore!"

"Aha!" He suddenly perked up, lifting a finger at her. "Right, but I'm not. Got any pizza?" He added, moving to open her freezer. Lady put her hand to the door as he tried to open it.

"Oh really? So you breaking into my place unannounced, when I told you to stop coming around, is just a coincidence?"

"You could say that. After all, you moved into my back yard." He watched tentatively as Lady opened her mouth to speak, but just closed it again.

"What are you talking about? You don't live here!" She replied, recovering quickly.

"Well, I didn't... but for the time I do. My last place, well..." He grinned widely. Lady shook her head and put a hand up.

"Don't you EVEN think about it! I'm not taking you in." She protested.

"Oh no, I wouldn't dream of asking. I'm only here on business, staying in a hotel." Lady noticed the smile on his face and she looked at him suspiciously.

"Then why are you here?" She asked.

"I need your h..."

"NO way, get out now!" Lady yelled, cutting him off before he could get the words out. Of course he needed her help! He always needed her help one way or another, and she had foolishly accepted time and time again. But this time she wouldn't give in, she would stand her ground against him.

"C'mon now, how many times have I saved your ass?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ha! Like the time you asked me to join you in flushing out a demon nest, and you LEFT me there to dig my way out while you were off flirting with some demon chick?"

"You made it out alive, didn't you?"

"Or the time you told me I could walk over the spiked pit with the ring you gave me, only to find you'd given me the WRONG ONE and I almost was impaled."

"I grabbed you partway down." He replied meekly, not looking at her and rubbing the back of his neck. "Besides, this one isn't dangerous."

"Not interested. You know where the door is." Lady replied, turning and walking out of the kitchen. She had gotten close to the stairway when she heard his heavy footfalls behind her. She decided not to turn around, as he had probably hoped to persuade her. He was notorious for being persistent, and it was this that had gotten her to help him in the past. One thing she hated about Dante was his ability to annoy her into submission.

Instead though, she felt him closing in on her fast. He attempted to throw an arm around her, so she turned to punch him good and hard. Instead it allowed him to lift her up like a damsel in distress. One minute she was watching the stairs, and the next she was looking at him with the intent to kill.

"Put me down!" She yelled, holding the gun in her hand just under his chin. Dante only chuckled in his throat, a rumbling noise that connected to the playfulness in his eyes.

"Now now Lady. You didn't think I wouldn't notice the towel?" She felt his hand up under her thigh squeeze a bit and she punched him hard on the shoulder with her free hand.

"Put me down NOW, or so help me Dante." She growled, cocking the gun. Dante only breathed in deeply.

"Mmmm, nothing like the scent of a woman fresh from the bath to get the blood flowing." He grinned down at her with a lazy look in his eyes. "Even if I dropped you, I'm pretty sure you'd still be held up by my..."

"You're sick!" Lady's eyes went wide and redness flooded her cheeks.

"No, just well endowed." He replied. "Are you blushing my dear? Want to test the theory?" Dante let go of her for an instant and Lady was almost jolted to the floor, but she didn't want to know the answer to this theory. She grasped onto his neck to prevent herself from going any further. Dante grabbed her as quickly as he dropped her, enjoying in the shock on her face.

"I'm going to kill you!" She growled.

"Go on then, shoot me." He murmured to her in a honeyed tone that made the hair on her arms stand on end. "But you know as well as I do that it won't do anything." His hand had slipped up from under her knees and was getting dangerously close to the bottom of the towel.

Lady looked up at Dante with a wide grin forming on her lips. She leaned in ever so close to his face and whispered. "It may not kill you, but it'll hurt like hell."

"Yeah. But it'll be so worth it." He cooed as he let his hand slide up the bottom of the towel at the same instant Lady pulled the trigger. Dante took the bullet with a wolfish grin that made Lady want to pummel him.

She didn't fall too gracefully as he fell backwards, but she did manage to catch herself so she didn't fall on her butt. She crouched down looking at Dante's quiet form with a girlish smirk. He'll be feeling that when he wakes up.

-----

By the time Dante had recovered Lady was already fully clothed and in a considerably better mood. She forgot how much she enjoyed shooting him. When she came down he was sitting on one of the scarce pieces of furniture she had here. Dante was holding his head and trying to spit out the taste of gun powder.

"You are such a bitch." Dante growled as he noticed her.

"And you are nothing but a lowlife pervert, but what else is knew?" She chimed, picking up Kalina Ann and placing it across her lap. She began to clean it when she realized Dante wasn't leaving. "Look, I'm not helping you, so go away. Today's my day off."

"So you're going to stay home all day and clean your weapons? Doesn't sound like much of a day off." Dante said irritably as he stood to look around. "Now, if you were to join up with me on the other hand..."

"Not interested. Go ask Vergil to help you." She replied, not looking at him. Dante pulled up a wooden chair in front of her and sat on it backwards. He wrapped his arms on the top of the back part and looked at her over them.

"That's the thing. I'm gonna need his help too, but I need YOUR help to persuade him."

Lady looked up at him with a doubtful look. "How could I possibly help you with anything regarding Vergil?"

The truth of the matter was, that while Vergil wasn't hell-bent on killing everything he came in contact with anymore, he still wasn't too keen on helping people either. The small amount of regard he showed towards her and Dante was a civil uncaring. From time to time he could be bated into helping them if the task interested him, but that was a rarity in and of itself. For the most part, Dante had been a freeloader in Vergil's home who was only tolerated for some unknown reason.

"Because, I think Vergil likes you." Dante whispered from behind his arms, his eyes going wide in a dramatic way. Lady broke out into mock laughter.

"That's a good one, really classic. If I'd known you were coming to entertain me I would've kept more guns in the house."

"I'm serious! He always yells at me when I'm around, but you never noticed how he gets all quiet when you come around? The way he bows when you enter a room, stands at the table when you get up..."

"No, that just means your brother has manners unlike YOU." Lady replied uninterestedly.

"He's my brother, and I KNOW him well enough to know something just ain't right there. So what do you say? Help me out?" He gave her what she guessed was his "puppy eyes", but it looked more comical than anything.

"Nope, sorry." She continued to polish Kalina Ann. Dante stared at her over his arms, half glaring, half thoughtful. Dante watched her from over his forearm for a long moment, and then...

"I'll sell your underwear on eBay again." He grinned as she looked up from her work to glare at him. Because he HAD done it before.

"You're bluffing." She growled.

"Try me...

-----

Lady stood looking at the white double doors before her with Dante standing to her left. She glared at his back as he moved forward to knock on the doors and when he caught her gaze he only gave her a cocky grin in return.

"I can't do this." She said flatly, turning on her heels to leave. Dante grabbed her arm.

"I see London, I see France..." Dante murmured to her. "I'll sell Lady's underpants."

She pushed his hand off of her and gave him a searing look. She put her hand on the gun at her side, but Dante only shook his head at her as if to say. "That won't stop me." She let her arm fall and instead concentrated on the door before her. There was a faint sound of shoes on wood that grew louder.

"Who is it?" A calm voice asked from inside.

"It's Dante!" He called back through. Without a moments hesitation she heard what she thought was the door unlocking. After a few minutes of it not opening Dante tried turning the doorknob only to find... "The bastard LOCKED it!" He exclaimed, kicking the door with his foot. "C'mon Vergil! Open up!"

"I don't think so." Vergil's voice replied calmly, as if he were standing against the door. "There is still the matter of a $300 bill you owe me."

"What? I don't owe you anything!"

"A line of credit taken out UNDER my name at Antonio's. Not only for pizza, but when they refused to deliver until you paid up you added exorbitant tips onto it so the pizza boys would deliver them."

"Oh" Dante said thickly. "That... I'll pay you Tuesday."

"That's what you told the pizza boy." Vergil replied.

Lady was in a fit of laughter at the look on Dante's face, and thoroughly enjoying someone finally picking on him after all the hell he'd caused her. She would definitely pick up something for Vergil as a thank you later.

"Quiet you!" Dante spat at her. He dug into his coat pocket and pulled out some money. "Ok Verge, here's $50 for now. It's all I have."

"No it's not, he keeps a stash in his boots." Lady called out. Dante tried to cover her mouth, but the most he was able to do was catch her around the middle as she giggled with glee. The front door opened though, and she saw Vergil standing in the doorway.

"It's not polite to manhandle women in public Dante." Vergil said coolly, putting a hand out for his money. Dante handed him the fifty. "And the boots." Dante growled, glaring at them both before emptying his boot of its contents. "The other one too Dante."

"C'mon! A man's gotta eat!" Dante protested.

"Lady, go warm yourself by the fire." Vergil said, never looking from Dante. Lady stepped around him, making movements to accentuate how warm it was inside. Dante was standing in one boot and it was getting colder now that the sun had almost gone.

"OK!" He pulled off his other boot and handed over the remainder of his stash to Vergil.

"Good, but you're still coming up short" Vergil said, clearly taller now that Dante was out of his boots and one step down from Vergil.

"Tuesday man, now can I please come in?" He asked, teeth chattering as he tried to put his boots back on. Vergil didn't answer, only stepped aside to allow him in.

Dante walked in and noticed Lady was sitting comfortably on Vergil's couch, a roaring fire illuminating her profile. The coffee table in front of her had a delicate cup of tea that was still steaming, and a partially folded new paper.

"Anything good in there?" Dante asked, sitting down and pulling the paper open. He skipped to the comic's page, but barely got a look before Vergil snatched it from his fingers.

"The usual. Death, tragedy, and the 108th birthday of Maybelle Clint, who says she's going for the record." Vergil said dryly, setting the paper down again. He took up the tea and sipped it uninterestedly.

"So, wanna order pizza?" Dante asked.

"Lady, would you like something to drink?" Vergil asked, ignoring him.

"Uh, sure." Lady answered, grinning when Dante rolled his eyes at her. Vergil set his cup down and disappeared out into the hallway.

"You know, you could've worn something nicer." He said disapprovingly at her jeans and tank top.

"What does my clothing have to do with anything?" Lady snapped back at him.

"I told you, he's got a thing for you. You should've worn something tighter and shorter." He was eyeing her closely and it made her uncomfortable. "Make up couldn't hurt either." She glared at him, her temper rising.

"This is bull, you know that? You are such a thick headed jerk! I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Lady stood up and started for the front door. What was she thinking? Coming here and allowing Dante to insult her. So what if she wasn't all girly, why would she want to be? Hunter's didn't need to be beautiful, or overly feminine. She knew her worth lay far deeper than that of outward appearences. Not to mention this stupid idea of his! Vergil didn't think of anyone in that way, especially a human woman like her. It was another one of Dante's games, and she didn't want to play anymore. Underwear be damned!

As she crossed towards the hallway Vergil came around the corner. He startled as she almost crashed into him, and next thing she knew hot tea was all down her front. She jumped back, pulling the searing fabric from herself. Just great! This is what I get for being around Dante.

"Watch it!" She yelped, stepping away from Vergil. Her skin turned a violent red, but luckily for her the water wasn't so hot as to need a doctor. It hurt though, especially when she made to move any part connected to her upper torso. Her skin tightened and seered with more pain. Great, I have an indoor sunburn. She groaned inwardly. Vergil just stared down at her, mild interest with what could've been seen as slight concern mixed in.

Dante though, was laughing his head off. Lady turned, having had enough, pulling her gun from her holster and pointed it at Dante. Before she could pull the trigger however, she felt Vergil take her hand from behind.

"No shooting in my home." He said calmly over her shoulder, his hand partially over hers as well as the gun in her hand. Lady was momentarily aware of just how close he was to her back. They were practically molded together for a moment. She felt a slight warmth creep into her cheeks as she pushed Vergil back, taking several steps forward herself. She turned to face him, an accusatory look on her face.

Vergil lifted an eyebrow at her mistrusting eyes. "Come. I have a first aid kit in the bathroom." His face was unreadable, but she only shook her head.

"I'll be fine." She turned her face away, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. It was all Dante's fault, for putting that crazy idea in he head. That was it, so now she was all nervous about him.

"If it makes you feel better, I could go with you instead of Vergil." Dante grinned. She noticed that wolfish smirk on his face as he examined the wet shirt with his eyes, which now clung to her.

"Burn in hell." She hissed at him before walking out into the hallway. "Come on Vergil." She lightly touched his sleeve as she walked by, knowing better than to grab a hold of someone like Vergil. He didn't like to be touched, anyone could see that.

Dante watched as Vergil gave him one last baleful look, before turning the corner, and walking out of sight. Dante sank down into the sofa, setting his feet up on the coffee table with a broad smile on his face. Everything was going according to plan.