Disclaimer-I don't own Victorious
"Here you go." Tori said, sliding a cup full of red liquid across the counter towards Jade. Jade picked it up and sniffed the contents.
"Pig? Really?" She asked, wrinkling her nose.
"Well you said you didn't want cow blood, and I assumed you didn't want chicken blood, so that kind of just left pig."
"Yeah, because human is such a bad option." Jade said sarcastically, taking a gulp of the animal blood and shuddering.
"Yes, it is." Tori said, taking a bite of the raw, relatively bloodless pig meat.
"C'mon, it's not like I'd turn Trina." Jade pleaded. "I wouldn't even have to use my fangs. I'd just take a knife, make an incision along her forearm, and suck the blood out."
"I think she'd notice the bleeding gash in her arm when she woke up." Tori said dryly, taking another bite.
"Vampire saliva seals up wounds, you know that." Jade said, sounding frustrated. "It wouldn't even leave a scar."
"Yeah, but she'd probably be woken up by you slicing open her arm and sucking out her blood." Tori told her, finishing off the meat.
"I'd just hypnotize her into going back to sleep. She'd just think it was a vivid nightmare." Jade said. "And her room is soundproof, so it's not like your parents would hear." Tori gave Jade a disappointed look.
"You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"
"Oh, don't act like you haven't ever considered eating someone's pet." Jade said, rolling her eyes and taking another gulp.
"First off, no, no I haven't." Tori said. "Even during the full moon I've never been tempted to eat a cat. And second of all, there's a difference between a human and a pet."
"Yeah, I leave the human alive, unlike you." Jade said with a smirk and finishing off her cup of blood. "Mutt."
"Bat." Tori retorted, walking over to the couch.
"Hey, bats are cool." Jade said, following her. "There's a reason Batman is one of the most popular superheroes of all time you know."
"I don't think his popularity is because of the bat theme." Tori said with a smile, lying down and putting her head in Jade's lap.
"Oh really?" Jade said, raising an eyebrow and beginning to run her fingers through Tori's hair. "Name one wolf themed superhero that's well known to people who aren't comic book fans." Tori opened her mouth, and then closed it, frowning.
"At least nobody's ever written a story about sparkling werewolves." She said finally, smirking. Jade scowled. She hated being reminded of Twilight.
"True." The she grinned. "But there's a reason why vampires are usually depicted as elegant sex symbols, while werewolves are smelly and dirty." Tori raised an eyebrow.
"So you think that I'm smelly and dirty?" She asked. Jade's eyes widened as she realized the implications of what she'd just said sunk in.
"Aw, chiz." Jade groaned, not sure how to get out of this situation.
"You know, you could just apologize." Tori said teasingly.
"Apologizing isn't exactly my strong suit." Jade said quietly, slowly running her fingers through Tori's hair. "But I didn't mean to smelly or dirty." Tori smiled and put a hand on the back of Jade's head, pulling the goth vampire into a kiss.
"I forgive you." Tori said when they pulled apart.
"You do get pretty smelly when you get wet in wolf form though." Jade said with a smirk. "I had to wash my bedspread three times after that one night." Tori gasped and punched Jade on the shoulder, wincing at the impact. She was stronger than a normal human even in human form, but Jade was stronger when they were both in human form. In essence, hitting Jade was like hitting a marble wall. Not fun.
"That's not my fault! That's just an annoying part of biology!" She protested. "And I always bathe immediately afterwards."
"I know." Jade said, leaning down and kissing Tori on the forehead. "I was just teasing you." Tori smiled and settled back into Jade's lap. Tori's parents, both of whom were vanilla mortals like Trina, had no idea that Jade was here, or even the nature of their daughter and her girlfriend. So, to try and keep Jade hypnotizing them to a minimum, they always just sat and talked when Jade came to spend the night.
"Why can't you drink werewolf blood?" Tori asked Jade. The other girl raised an eyebrow.
"Seriously? I'm pretty sure I told you the reason the first night you changed." Jade said, smirking. Tori blushed. She didn't like to admit it, but Jade was the only reason her status as a werewolf was still secret. And if she hadn't been able to hide her transformations, she'd probably be dead by now. All the same though, her memory was awful when it came to some of the details of the lesson Jade had given her that first night. Jade sighed. "There's too much magic in werewolf blood." She told Tori, stroking the brunette's cheek. "Blood is what helps keep a vampire grounded and looking human, since we're fifty percent magic. So drinking magical blood makes us lose our humanity, if only for a short time, while non-magical blood, even animal blood, makes us keep it."
"Oh. That makes sense." Tori said. Jade grinned.
"Besides, werewolf blood tastes more like a dog than a human, and animal blood tastes nasty." She said. Tori ignored this, rolling her eyes.
"Why are you so snarky today?" Tori asked. "You're technically dead, so it's not like it's your time of the month."
"I'm always snarky." Jade said. "You knew that when we started dating."
"Yeah, but you seem to be giving me a lot more sarcasm then usual tonight."
"It's because you've put me on a diet of animal blood." Jade growled, folding her arms. "It tastes awful, and it's not natural."
"You said you could live off of animal blood!" Tori protested.
"Yeah, that doesn't mean I'd want to." Jade said. "It's like if I made you eat that fake vegetarian 'meat'. Sure, you could do it, but that doesn't mean it tastes good, and it doesn't give you everything you need."
"Well I'm sorry for trying to help keep you from being killed by some stupid vampire slayer." Tori said, sitting up and wrapping her arms around Jade's neck. Jade chuckled and pulled Tori onto her lap.
"Spoken like a true vampire lover." She said, kissing her.
"Well of course." Tori said with a smile. "I don't want some idiot with a stake and a cross killing my girlfriend."
"And yet you have every season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD." Jade said, giving the collection of DVDs a death glare. "That's like making Andre watch Birth of a Nation."
"She only kills evil vampires though!" Tori protested.
"How do you know that I'm not evil?" Jade asked, raising an eyebrow. "I could be eating toddlers when you're not looking."
"If you were evil you wouldn't drink the animal blood I give you." Tori said. "And before you started drinking animal blood, you only drank from the criminals and the dying, I checked."
"You checked?" Jade said in disbelief, pushing Tori back.. "I'm offended!"
"It was before we started dating." Tori said defensively, keeping her arms wrapped tight around Jade's neck. A fringe benefit of being a werewolf dating a vampire was that Jade would never push so hard as to hurt Tori, and Tori could hold on as tightly as she wanted because her human form simply couldn't hurt Jade. "I wanted to make sure the person teaching me the do's and don'ts of being a magical being wasn't secretly trying to make me into a killing monster."
"Fair enough." Jade said after thinking it over. She stood up, shifting Tori so that she was carrying the other girl bridal style. "Now let's get you to bed, it's almost 3 AM." Jade carried Tori up the stairs, heading for Tori's room.
"You're going to stay the night, right?" Tori asked quietly as Jade closed the door.
"No, I've decided to shake things up a bit and randomly leave you for the first time tonight." Jade said sarcastically. "It's not like I walked here or anything, and even if I did, I don't see anything bad happening to a teenage girl walking alone at 3 in the morning."
"You don't need to be rude." Tori muttered as Jade set her down. "I just have a hard time believing you really want to be with me, that's all." Jade smiled and pulled Tori into a deep make out session.
"Believe it." She told Tori, brushing a strand of hair out the other girl's face. "I'm here to stay, and you're never getting rid of me."
Author's Note
I believe that the strongest piece of evidence we have that vampires don't exist is the fact that Stephanie Meyer is still alive. I'm pretty sure most vampires would be deeply offended by Twilight.
Thanks for reading guys! See you next time!