Disclaimer: The situation from which this fic is spawned belongs not to myself but to the great Mercedes Lackey. The lyrics used belong to the Smashing Pumpkins.
Warnings: Implicit slash, implicit suicide.
A/N: Pointlessly melodramatic and written, really, as an excuse to call a fic "The Killer in Me" – title taken from "Disarm" by the Smashing Pumpkins.
Set in the moments before Vanyel slashes his wrists.
The Killer In Me
That urge to be away from light, away from sound, away from life… was that what you felt, Ashke? When you threw yourself down from the Bell tower, with that hideous bell ringing and ringing and ringing? The feeling that you weren't worth the air you breathed in and out… That pressing of the world against your chest – painful enough to make you scream, crushing enough that you don't need to try, to know you can't.
I know you did.
I felt it, through the darkness and pain, felt the agony of abandonment tear through me as you touched the ground. As you must have done. Looking into blind and blazing sapphire eyes.
Pain, vengeance, love, death – your gifts to a thoughtless peacock. And now he must balance the scales. Pain, failure, love, death – gifts from your broken lover.
Our end the same, my love. Justice – a gift between partners in crime. Pain, vengeance, love, failure, death, desertion, comfort, tears, blood, nightmares. One soul now shattered, one life soon ended, one candle slowly dying. The killer in me is the killer in you, my love. My love. My love.
A/N: Love it? Hate it? Wish it never had to end? Just glad it's over? Please tell me! Reviews make me happy. Constructive criticism is welcome. Flames are less welcome.