DISCLAIMER: Neither Rachel Berry or Jesse St. James belong to me. Nothing else you recognize does either.
Bitter Feelings Don't Always Lead to Bad Happenings
Note: this fic takes place somewhere in early season three but goes divergent in the end of season two. Rachel and Finn don't get back together after this kiss. Also Jesse never flunked out of UCLA because that particular plot point was kinda ridiculous lets be honest.
"Kurt's boyfriend transferred to McKinley and everyone loves him."
The only people who called Jesse, instead of just texting, were his siblings, his brother claimed it was because he couldn't hear Jesse's anger over text message and his sister often requested he sing lullabies to his nieces, and his parents so Jesse hadn't looked at the caller ID before picking up his phone.
He wished he had because hearing Rachel Berry's voice for the first time in a year had him feeling a strange mix of excitement and pain. It was as though someone had just punched him on Christmas morning.
"Rachel," he breathed out. His hand tightened on his phone.
"Blaine is amazing, vocally and otherwise." Rachel continued. He almost laughed. Her single mindedness was part of why he loved her and he wasn't at all surprised that she was pushing ahead in their conversation without any input from him. She would get her point across no matter what. "And although I really do like him, I can't help feeling a little bitter about the whole thing."
Jesse took a deep breath, steadying himself. He hadn't felt this thrown in a while, but Rachel had always had a way of knocking him off his feet so he wasn't that surprised.
He glanced up to make sure he was still a few people in line before him.
An interruption before they got into the conversation could mean that Rachel would assume he was busy and hang up on him.
"Why?" Jesse questioned.
"He was the lead singer of the Warblers."
Jesse knew who they were. He'd watched the previous years sectionals and regionals on a livestream when he was supposed to be working on homework. He'd been a bigger dick then normal the day after both - disappointment and anger burning in his gut at having been robbed of the opportunity to listen to Rachel sing during sectionals and filled with hurt and anger over 'Get it Right' during regionals.
He hadn't gone to class at all the week after nationals. He'd been too busy replacing all the furniture he'd broken in his apartment.
"Are you worried he's going to steal your solos?" Jesse questioned. "Because Rachel, I can assure you he was not that great. You are still far and beyond the most talented member of your glee club."
"Oh I know that." Her confidence brought a small smile to Jesse's face. Another reason he loved her - how certain she was in her talent and dreams. Just like him. "His vocal talent is actually one of the reasons I enjoy having around. I don't have to hold back as much when he's my duet partner."
"You didn't have to hold back at all with me."
The other end of the line went quiet.
He resisted the urge to swear. He hadn't meant to let that slip out.
After a few moments, Rachel said, her voice soft, "No, I didn't." He heard her take a deep breath before continuing, "But anyway, this is not about Blaine's musical talent." She paused again. "Or at least, not entirely."
"Then what is it about?" Jesse questioned.
"No one is accusing him of being a spy. Everyone believes that he transferred because he's in love with Kurt," Rachel said. Jesse felt his stomach drop, already certain of where this was going. "And I know that's true, but I can't help being upset that no one's even thought about it or that they're all accepting him. They were horrible to you when you came to McKinley. They never shut up about how you were spying on us and none of them even made an attempt to try and be your friend."
"I didn't really want to be friends with any of them," Jesse choked out.
"I know, but that's not the point." The silence settled again. Jesse stepped out of the coffee line and began walking out the door. He wouldn't be able to stomach anything, not even coffee, with the way this conversation was going. He could tell the whole thing was affecting Rachel's confidence and he hated knowing it was because of him. When Rachel spoke again, it only got worse, "Did you only transfer because Shelby ordered you to get close to me?"
He hesitated. He turned the truth over in his mind before answering, "No. I transferred because I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible before you found out the truth." He swallowed thickly. He pushed his next words out around the lump in his throat, he hadn't intended to speak them to Rachel over a phone but it was clear she needed to know, "I transferred because despite how little time we'd been together, I knew we were an inevitability. We're two puzzle pieces and we fit together perfectly. I knew when Shelby had reconnected with you she wouldn't want me to be around you anymore, she may have liked me as a performer but that doesn't mean she liked me as a person, and I wanted to keep the way I felt around you for as long as possible. No matter what your glee club may say or what you may think, I transferred because I love you."
He heard her let out a small gasp and then a sniffle. His eyes went wide, fingers tightening painfully around his phone as he croaked out, "Rachel? Please tell me you aren't crying. I didn't say all of that to make you upset. I just wanted you to know that you were worth that. That no matter how you may feel, Kurt isn't more lovable then you or whatever your club has you thinking."
"You said you love me," Rachel said. Her voice was rough and raw with emotion. "Not loved. Love."
"Rachel, I just told you we were two pieces that fit together perfectly. I'll never stop loving you."
And there it was, Jesse thought.
He took a deep breath. He hadn't thought their first conversation after everything would end up like this. He'd always imagined a lot of groveling on his part, not his feelings being laid out on the table.
"I'm sorry," he said after a moment. "I didn't mean to get so intense."
"It's okay," Rachel answered. He heard another sniffle, followed by the soft sound of cloth brushing against skin. She must have been wiping her face off. "I needed that, I think. To hear that someone other then my fathers loved me."
"Always." He chewed on his lip, a habit he'd picked up from her during their relationship. Forcing nonchalance into his voice, he said, " I saw your Nationals performance, so I know you're not available, but I'll be back for Christmas break and I'd like to take you out for coffee."
"Nationals...was a decision made without my consent," Rachel said after a moment of hesitation. "I'm very much available."
Something in his chest unclenched. He felt like he was soaring, "Yeah? So coffee's good?"
"Yes. And perhaps a duet while you're here?"
Singing with her was like a high all on it's own. Just the idea was enough to make him absolutely dizzy with happiness. "Absolutely. We can do another impromptu performance at the music store."
She let out a soft hum. "Our second hello?"
He knew, with those words, that she was offering him more then a quick chat over coffee and a song. She was offering him a second chance. He couldn't stop the bright smile that spread across his lips.
"A second hello," Jesse agreed, the idea spreading warmth through his chest. "I'll make sure to do better this time around."