I know. I really should be writing FST, but I wrote this a while ago and I'm just now getting to type it up.
Disclaimer: You're joking.
It all started with a phone call.
/*/*/*/*/*/
"Hey baby sis!" My older brother Emmett's voice boomed over the phone.
Well if I wasn't awake then…
"Hey Em. To what do I owe this phone call?" I asked, getting straight to the point of the call. Over the years I had learned that if you didn't' get to the subject of something soon, you never would.
"Aw, baby sis! That stings, it really does. Can't a big brother call his little sister just to have a friendly chat?" He asked me, feigning hurt in his voice.
"Normal brothers can Emmett. You can't. And what could you possibly want to "chat" about? We saw each other yesterday- not even twenty- four hours ago- at yours and Rose's anniversary party." I said, bringing out his only excuse.
Yesterday was his and his wife of five years, Rosalie, anniversary party. It was thrown by my best friend, and Rose's sister- in- law, Alice. It was more of a big dinner than a party. Alice had insisted on having it at mine and my husband's- her brother's- house, because it was "the coziest."
Everyone in the family was invited. Including Rosalie's and Emmett's kids. They had a set of twins that were two. A boy and a girl. Henry and Jamie. They were the most adorable twins in the world; they had mommy's blonde hair, but daddy's curls, and big brown eyes that ran in the Swan family. They also had daddy's dimples, and mommy's height and gracefulness. Even though they were adorable, they were trouble. Big trouble. They both had a set of conspiratorial little minds, and paired up with Alice and Jasper's eighteen month daughter, they were the devil reincarnated. Last night I had almost lost my engagement ring to the toilet. And a watch. And bracelet.
"Well Bells," the hesitancy in Emmett's voice made me roll my eyes. I knew it. "Rose has work today, and I have to pick up her gift. So, I was wondering if you could watch the twins. It would be for an hour or two. I would ask Alice, but we all know what happened last time." Emmett said, his voice heavy with desperation, and at the same time, trying to repress a shudder.
The last time Alice had watched the kids, was when they were ten months, and she had "accidentally," spiked their apple sauce with pixie stix, and their formula with a bit of coffee.
The kids were wired for days and Rose and Emmett had lost almost tow days of sleep.
"Yeah, we wouldn't' want that to happen again." I said with a grimace on my face, recalling the memories. Rose sleep deprived was a scar sight. Very scary.
"My thoughts exactly! But since your house isn't that child- proof, as we learned last night, can you came here?" Emmett questioned me with a trace of humor in his voice. Oh he would so pay.
"Not at all Emmett. I'll be there in twenty minutes." I said quickly.
"Thanks so much Bells!" Emmett said excitedly. "I'll see you when you get here."
"Okay Em." I said as I started grabbing the keys off the counter.
"See ya soon Bells."
"Bye." I said grinning lightly and closing the phone. We would be in for an interesting afternoon.
I quickly got my stuff together, but before I left, I sent a text to Edward, saying that if he got home before me, I was at Emmett's. This would be fun.
/*/*/*/*/
That was what had led me to where I was now, which was chasing a two year old girl around the house, who had a fresh pull- up on, and nothing else. Also a young boy who was upstairs, playing hide- and- seek with himself.
Dear God, what went wrong?
I made sure that there was no pixie stix in their food. Or caffeine in their milk. I may have let them nap for too long. Emmett told me not to do that. Holy crap, he's going to kill me. And if he doesn't, Rose certainly will.
I was about to catch up to Jamie, when one of her Disney Princess books, decided to fall off the couch, and block my path.
Now the book wasn't very big itself, but me being me would trip on it.
Great, I thought to myself as soon I started to fall. Could anything else go wrong? But, before I fell, a strong pair of arms grabbed my waist to a standing position. The person was still behind me, so I couldn't see their face.
Their arms looked extremely familiar, but that didn't stop my mind and thoughts from traveling at one hundred miles per hour.
Oh my God, we're all going to die.
"Bella?" I heard the voice of my savior.
"Oh Edward! Thank God you're here." I exclaimed quickly, throwing my arms around him.
He chuckled at the anguish in my voice.
Meanie.
"I missed you too love. I got your text, and decided I would come over to see if you need any help. It kind of looks like you do." He trailed off at the end of his sentence as he took in how the house looked.
The house was a wreck. It had stuffed animals thrown everywhere, and old notebooks that I had gotten out for the kids to draw with were scattered on the floor with pieces of paper torn out of them. Books were lying on the floor with the grape jelly from lunch, stained on the pages in a fingerprint form.
Then he took in my appearance. My hair was up in a very messy pony tail. I had little bits of peanut butter running thorough it and a rainbow of markers had been colored with- on my face.
He chuckled again and I scowled, shooting him a look that said, you won't be getting any for a month if you don't stop laughing. Right now.
"You want me to get Jamie or Henry?" He questioned when he noticed the look.
"I'm too tired to deal with Jamie, so I'll get Henry. I walked away, and heard him calling out, "Jamie, uncle Eddie's here. Where's my hug?"
I crept slowly up the wooden stairs, afraid that if Henry was playing hide- and- seek, I wouldn't scare him and send him to a different spot.
-creek-
Crap. I thought as I heard the patter of little feet. Great another two year old on the loose.
"Henry, there's someone here to see you! You want to know who it is?" I said knowingly. I knew Henry couldn't' resist giving hugs. He was just like Emmett.
I saw a flash of blond hair go by, en route to his favorite hiding spot: the dryer. But it was a bad idea on his part, because the door to the laundry room was right beside me.
"Gotcha!" I exclaimed as I grabbed the waist of my nephew.
"No aunty Bella! Let me down!" He shrieked as I threw him over my shoulder.
"I don't think so squirt." I said, throwing him over my shoulder, and I channeled my inner Rosalie, laying a hand on the hand rail of the stairs. The chances of me falling were high. Very high.
As we reached the main level, I headed to the squeal of my niece. "Uncle Eddy, you found me!" I walked into the kitchen and set Henry down in one of the mahogany dining room chairs with the small kids booster seat in it. Edward coaxed Jamie out of the cabinet. Just in time too, I saw her eyeing the Windex and Pledge like it was chocolate milk, and ice cream.
"You two," I started as Edward sat Jamie down in her chair beside Henry. "Are in time out for half an hour." I said with a stern expression on my face. I tried not to look them in their eyes. Puppies and toddlers have the same affect of feelings on me. Sympathy and pity.
Instead, I turned to look at Edward. "Will you help me clean up the mess?"
"Sure love." Edward agreed quickly. He knew my patience was wearing thin.
As we turned away from the kids, we heard the quiet purr of Emmett's jeep parking outside, and the engine being turned off.
Edward and I both turned to look at each other, and a sly crooked grin grew on his face. "Emmett can take care of the mess. You've done enough already." I couldn't help but agree with him, and think, Payback.
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