The 12 Days of Christmas

Duo: Ahem! This is the "12 Days of Christmas" beautifully sung by yours truly!

: NOT JUST YOU, DUO!!!!
They grab him and tie him up, stuffing his braid in his mouth:WAIT YOUR TURN!

Duo: MmMmm MM!!!

The "singers" exit the stage, and for a minute the autitorium was completely silent.
There is motion behind the curtain as Heero steps, or rather, is pushed out onto the stage.

Heero looks offstage and Death Glares at somebody who, in return, gives two thumbs up from offstage.

Heero: Do I really have to do this? It's such an aggravating song!

Relena pops her head from behind the curtain: Heero! innocent voice>Heero, please, do it for me!> She blows a kiss at him and waves.

Heero :Fine, FINE!!!

The music begins.

Heero: On the first day of Christmas, my OBSESSOR gave to me...

: HEY!!

Heero smirks and drops his script: ...an invitation to her birthday party...
WHICH I RIPPED UP!!! Heero cracks up laughing, Relena cries, and the crowd
booes and throws tomatoes.

Heero:C'mon, don't you people have any thing HARDER to throw???

The audience looks at each other and pull out....

CATS!!!
T
he audience chucks cats and a roar of cat screeches erupts.

Heero: EEP!

Heero runs off the stage, dodging cats left and right. The audience stops and eagerly
awaits the second singer...

There are unaudible pleas and movement behind the curtain. Relena walks onto the
stage dragging Heero tied to a chair.

Heero: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!

Relena: Heero, shut up and sing ON CUE!!!! And pleeeease try to go by the script
this time!

Heero:

At this time, we see Heero tied up and Duo walks onto the stage.

Duo: MmmMMMm..... And now, my part!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a double-edged scythe...



: ...and an invitation to her birthday party.

Relena: See, that wasn't sooo bad!! Let's keep going...

Duo smiles at his audience and Heero grumbles to himself as Trowa walks onto the stage...

Trowa: On the third day of Christmas my sister gave to me...
three untamed lions.....

Duo: ... a double-edged scythe...

Heero: ..... and an invitation to her birthday party. when will this
maddness end?

Relena: WHEN WE GO THROUGH THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!!!

Heero: oh.

Quatre walks onto the stage: Ahem. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true...
love?.... gave to me.... four cups of tea....

Trowa: .... three untamed lions...

Duo: ..... a double-edged scythe...

Heero: AND A FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY INVITATION!! THEY KNOW!!!
THEY KNOW!!! WHAT IS THE POINT TO THIS STUPID SONG?!

Relena: It's holiday traditon, Heero!

Heero: oh.

Just then, Wufei walks out, reading his script..
: What is the meaning of this, weakling? This is INJUSTICE!!
I will NOT " hit a high note", much less SING!!

Relena: Shut up, Wufei! You're ruining the show!!

The crowd booes.

Wufei: Oh Ok, FINE!!
Ahem.... on the fifth day of Christmas, I took from my en-e-my,

fiiiiiive mo-bile doooooooollllllllsssss!

Quatre: ... four cups of tea......

Trowa: "..." !!
Duo : .... a double-edged scythe

Heero: .... and an invitation to her birthday partyhehehehahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Heero falls on the ground, still tied up, RollingOnTheFloorLaughingHisAs*Off.

Wufei folds his arms and looks angrily at Heero: Do you have a PROBLEM, Yuy?!

Heero stops laughing and manages to right the chair he's tied to.

Heero: Yeah... you can sing better that me.
Heero chuckles at his own joke and ends up bursting out laughing.

Everyone onstage and in the audience:

*****************************************
Relena finally manages to calm Heero down by giving him the self-destruct
button to the Deathscythe, (she dosen't want him to actually blow anything up)
and he fiddles with it, trying to end this miserable song...

Miliardo Peacecraft walks onto the stage.

Relena: Let's proceed.

Miliardo: On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six parts for
Epyon.....

Wufei: ... fiive mo-bile doolllss.

Q: ... four cups of tea....

T: three untamed lions.....

D: ... a double-edged scy....HEY! THAT'S DEATHSCYTHE'S SELF-DESTRUCT
BUTTON!!!

Relena: We've alreday gone over that, Duo.

Duo: Right, the thing don't work anyway... BELIEVE me, I've tried.....

Relena covers Duo's mouth: SHUT UP!!! Heero dosen't know that!!

Duo (with hands clasped over his mouth) nods.

Relena: Try your part again.

Duo: K... a double-edged scythe......

Heero: DIE SONG!!!!
Click! Click! Click? Clickclickclickclickclickclickclick??!!!

Heero:... and an
invitation to her birthday party... sob....

************************************
The song goes on: Trieze sings about seven bubble baths, Noin sings about eight
white Tauruses, Dorothy about nine bloody wars (?!), Relena about Heero's ten
death-threats (X.x), Hilde about eleven grocery bags (sweatdrop), and Lady Une
about a doozen roses. The final product went something like this...

Lady Une: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
one dozen roses.....

Hilde: ...eleven grocery bags...

Duo sweatdrops.

Relena: ... ten death-threats...

Heero dosen't react; he seems to be pondering something as he looks at the
exits and the roof.....

Relena ignored his strange behavior and turned to listen on....

Dorothy: ... nine bloody wars.....

Everyone sweatdrops.

Noin: ... eight white Tauruses...

Miliardo smiles at Noin and listens on...

Trieze: ... seven bubble-baths...

Lady Une:

Miliardo: ... six parts for Epyon...

Wufei : ... fiive crack> mo-bile dollllsss.....

Quatre: ... four cups of tea....

Trowa: ... three untamed lions....

Duo: ... a double-edged scythe...

Silence.

Everyone in the auditorium turns to Heero's EMPTY chair, with cut
strands of adhesive tape draped all over it.
The music ends without Heero and, surprisingly, the audience applauds.
But they can't help wondering where Heero went to...
The performers minus Heero bowed and the curtain fell.
The crowd stood up and started for the exits when there was a loud sound...

The windows and doors locked up and the people panicked. A loud voice came
booming from the outside:

"Didn't think I'd escape, did ya?"

Relena looked up at the skylight where Heero stood on the hand of Wing Zero
Custom with a small device in his left hand...

Relena: Heero, w-what are y-you going to do?

Heero smirked at her fear and held up the device.
"I'm going to put all of you through what you put me through!!!"

Everyone panicked and screamed, but Duo looked unusually calm...

" Omae o korosu!" Heero pushed the button dramatically.

The whole auditorium held their breath in fear; Duo rolled his eyes.

Heero looked confusedly at the button, the accusingly at Duo. Heero disapeared
into Wing Zero and the doors and windows unlocked.

Heero reappeared at the door and saw Duo cracking up laughing.

"Very funny, Duo." Duo wiped his eyes from laughing so hard: "You BAKA!! Next time, I SUGGEST you use the detonate-switch to your OWN Gundam!! HAHAHAhahaha......"
Duo looked at a stoic Heero.

Heero: Duo.....

Duo: Huh?

Heero: Omae o korosu.

Duo: Eep!

The scene fades as Heero chases Duo around the stage, everyone sweatdropping at the spectacle.

Fin

***********************

Ok, I no I no.... X-mas is over, and this WAS kinda dumb, but it's my first REAL attempt at humor! Plllllleeeeeaaaase review, cuz I seriously wanna no how ya'll liked it (sorry- I'm southern, I dunno how to speak w/o using the word "ya'll"! ^.~). Ja!