The Housewife
"No, I don't swing that way and I already have someone!" Kakashi finally yelled. Konoha Eleven looked at him in confusion.
"If it's not Naruto," Kiba said aloud, "Then who-?"
"HE WHAAAAAAATTTTTTT?!" came a voice all the way from Konohagakure. Naruto froze as did everyone else. They all knew that voice far too well.
"She found out," Kakashi shuddered.
"Kaka-sensei."
"Yup?"
"Tell me it's not—"
"KONO BAKAAAAA!"
The voice was still echoing throughout the gorge, making everyone cover their ears. A cloud of dust passed by. Those who caught a glimpse of the ninja would not believe it at first.
"What in the world was that?" Temari asked.
"Someone with Naruto-gaki's energy I can tell you that," Kankuro moaned.
"Now I know why the brat did not want her to know," Jiraiya muttered.
Genma wolf-whistled, "So that's where Naruto gets it from."
"No doubt Kakashi's going to die this time," Tsunade chuckled, "he should do this more often, then his girlfriend could take on an army by herself."
Gaara's face relaxed. "So he chose that one? Good choice…"
"He'll be glad you think so, Kazekage-sama," Jiraiya chuckled.
Everyone silently prayed that Kakashi would live to see the next day.
"Kaka-sensei?"
"Yup?" Kakashi answered, sweating bullets.
"Tell me it's not—"
"KONO BAKAAAAA!" a voice yelled as a clenched fist came in contact with Kakashi's jaw in a chakra powered punch. Kakashi was thrown back by the force and collided with the stone wall a hundred meters behind him, creating a crater.
Naruto looked from the fist to the rest of the body in deepening fear. The figure was wearing a blue apron and jeans and was holding a soup ladle in one hand. Her hair was tied in a low ponytail than in a high one. And she looked furious.
"Ma, Iru-chan… that hurts!" Kakashi moaned from the crater.
"How many times have I told you not to call me that in public?" Iruka growled, advancing towards the Jounin like an angry housewife, "And why am I the last to know about this?"
"I-I-I-Iru-chan?"
And with that word, Kakashi just dug his own grave.
"I-I-Iruka-sensei?" Naruto stammered. The ladle went past his head to the rock behind him creating a small crater in the rock wall two rocks behind him. Naruto decided to shut up then, seeing that Iruka was beyond angry. If his Chunnin sensei can turn a harmless kitchen tool into a weapon of mass destruction, an entire army of ninjas would not stand a chance.
"KONO BAKA! YOU JUST HAD TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO DEATH LIKE THIS!" Iruka roared. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TEACH THE CHILDREN KONOHAGAKURE WILLINGLY SACRIFICES THEIR OWN?"
"Um…" Kakashi had to admit, Iruka had a point. Shikamaru made a mental note that Iruka was likely more dangerous than Naruto. Fighting with Naruto seemed less life threatening.
"I am. Going to. Kick. Your. Arse." Iruka said slowly, cracking her knuckles.
"I-I-Iru-chan…" Kakashi stammered, "matte…"
BAM!
"Let me explain!"
BAM!
"I was only–"
BAM!
"–trying to protect you!" the Copy-Nin squeaked.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
"So that's where Naruto gets it from," Neji mused.
"What's that supposed ta mean, 'ttebayo!?" Naruto protested.
Needles to say, there would be plenty of rocks for building safe houses and fire pits once Iruka finished her love tap with Kakashi.