So I've been listening to this song close to non-stop since the CD came out and I realized, "Hey, this reminds me of Momo and Tōshirō!" The song is Dig by Incubus. It's one of my only song fics, so I hope you guys like it!
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We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easier to identify.
Aizen had always been a man I admired, loved like a daughter did a father. He taught me most of what I know, and treated me with an affection that I had never known. I had such a weakness for him, and I knew it… but there was nothing I could do. Even when he betrayed us all, made me hurt the only other person who held a place in my heart, I found myself following him blindly, fooling myself. Even now I was making myself sick, so very sick, just by thinking about him, by believing that it wasn't all true. So when Tōshirō walked through that door, my heart started aching, sure by the look in his eyes that Aizen was gone.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
"He's gone," I murmured, the tears welling up in my eyes. My back curled, my head pressed against my knees. "He's gone…"
"Momo…" Tōshirō knelt in front of me, his hand smoothing my hair hesitantly.
"I asked you to save him, Tōshirō." The tears were choking me. Why would I say that to him? I knew deep down that it would hurt him to hear that from me, but… everything that didn't have to do with my devotion to Aizen was fuzzy, blocked.
"I tried, but… Momo, I'm so sorry." I looked up at him, seeing the tears in his own eyes. Tōshirō never cried, no matter what, even when we were little and I would accidentally spit a watermelon seed in his eye.
"It'll… it'll be alright, Tōshirō." But I wasn't sure.
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
I wanted to forget Aizen, I really did. I wanted to pick him out of my skin like a splinter. I reached for Tōshirō and, for the first time, he gathered me into his arms, holding me desperately. "I'm sorry."
"Please, don't say that again." I clutched to the fabric of his kimono. If there's anyone who needs to say they're sorry, it's me. I let him blind me. I let him toy with me… I even tried to kill Tōshirō because of him! I tried to kill my dearest, closest friend… the man I love so deeply.
"Please, don't hate me, Momo." His cheek was pressed against my head, and I could feel his tears soaking through my hair.
I started crying harder, almost not able to catch my breath. I wanted to scream, to tell him I couldn't ever, ever hate him in any way. The only thing I could think of was the only thing I never, ever thought I could say. But I felt like I had to. "I can't hate you… I love you, Tōshirō…"
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
Tōshirō started crying harder, pulling me so close that there was no way to tell when I ended and he began. I lifted my head, running my cheek along his, feeling the dampness of his face. It was almost painful to touch him, to think of what I'd done to him. I didn't deserve it.
His hand came up and entangled itself in my hair. "I love you, too, Momo."
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
But who did he love? The girl I used to be, or the puppet I am now? I wish I were me again. "No…" I moved my head to the crick of his neck. "Please, don't love me… not while I'm like this."
"Momo…" Tōshirō relaxed his hold on me and pulled me from my hiding spot, looking me in the eyes. "You're no different."
"I'm pathetic," I cried weakly. "You can't love me like this."
"No, you're just confused, hurt," his hands moved to my face. "You're still the same girl I've known all my life."
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Am I really? Could I clear my head of all these things? "Tōshirō, please don't lie to me."
"I would never." He touched his forehead to mine, taking a deep breath. "You just need time, Momo, I know it. You can get better."
"I don't know," my eyes clouded over again and I choked down a sob.
"I do know. I'll do everything to make you better. I can help you, Momo."
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
I moved my head back slightly so I could see his eyes. I wanted to see a lie there… I wanted him to be right. I wanted to be the me without Aizen… I wanted to be the me with him, the me that ate watermelon on a hot summer day, the me that laughed when he crinkled up his nose in irritation when I called him Shiro-chan. "I want you to help me, Tōshirō."
"I will, don't worry, Momo." He closed his eyes slowly and he leaned in, placing his lips against mine. I could melt away right then and there, forget everything, hold onto this. My eyes closed, concentrating on the only bit of happiness I'd had in months. "We'll always have each other."