Beautiful and Solitary

Chapter One: The truth

The Council of the Captains were aligned just for me that morning. I had to present my report in front of them all while I was covered up in wounds because there was no time for treatment. The Old Man was desperate to hear what I was about to say about the mission, so I knelt in front of him with my Haori touching the wooden floor with some of my blood. The thing was that I heard an anonymous hiss beside me, as if the absent agony that should been in me had moved on to another person. I didn't have to look to know that it was the Captain of that Healing Squad. She always stood there and she always smelled like herbs and incense, and so it has been since the first time I saw her when I first joined the Squads.

She was all so different. I've heard that she's the strongest of all the Captains right after the Old Man, so she had this privilege to question his orders every now and then. She always talked about the innocent and our priority to help the weak. She seemed so wise when she spoke, all so courageous in what she believed in…Weakling. She was a weakling in heart.

Remembering the reason I was there I began to give my report to the General as everyone remained dead silent to my words. Retsu Unohana was listening too, but I felt her spiritual pressure unease. I could feel her warm sad eyes all over me. She always did that everytime she saw me after a fight when I got wounded or when it came down to the Fisical exam and she took a look at all my scars. She always kept so silent and sad. It pissed me a lot. There had been times when I went off from her office all irritated. I felt so weak when I was close to her, like if I weren't a Captain at all.

I always felt so inferior with her…so inferior to her that just by looking at her it pissed me off. And it always was with me alone. I have seen her with the others, she used to laugh and smile with everyone. Everyone except me. What was with her?

I felt like fucking runt being scolded by his mom.

Retsu Unohana scolded me for being what I am.

There had been times when I just wanted to yell at her to leave me alone, but I'll probably look like a fool because nobody else had noticed how she looks at me. Nobody! And I have only spoken about this to little Yachiru and that was when she asked me for a bedtime story and I had founded myself inventing one that ended up being my own anecdote with Captain Unohana. Well at least I used to change names as she used to play along and she hadn't paid any attention to the coincidences of the characters. She has always been a good listener: she never asked questions of whatever I invented.

I ended up losing my head at night, cursing in my insides every time I woken up and realized that I had just dreamt about her again.

Why wouldn't she just die?

I was going insane. I've had enough of all of this bullshit. I couldn't breathe now when I am this close to her. I couldn't concentrate; it's like me going drunk.

When I had finished narrating my stupid report to the Captain he dismissed us right away 'till he could clear up his mind. By then I was about to sigh of relief, but I shouldn't until I could be finally out of there, far away from her.

But when I was on my way to the door…

"Captain Zaraki" it was her. That voice always made me freeze.

Shit! She probably would want to heal me now. Yep, that bitch just couldn't let me go just like that.

I turned to her, glaring at her probably, but she was always so calm and patient that it didn't do any effect on her. She was unbreakable.

She just stretched her hand forward like showing me the way, "Right this way, Captain"

When she started walking I growled at my insides. I had no choice but to follow her, because or was this or that stare.

I've always thought that stare had a secret manipulating spell of some sort. Probably from hell or something. If she'd wish, with those eyes of hers she could persuade any man to make them sleep with her. But by all I've learned in all these years as Captain is that she'll probably be a virgin and stay that way forever. She was too busy, too high quality and too scary to have a man. Any man at all.

As I followed her my hands closed in a fist. Why wouldn't she just let me be? I wasn't disturbing anyone with my bloody appearance so why bother? The hell with her!

When we finally arrived to her foolish Barrack full of dummies with dummy faces and dummy walks and dummy conversations they started shock at me when we passed by them: me following their dearest Captain didn't seem to fit their image of me. Or more likely, I think it was all the blood on my clothes that made them stare at me like that. I sure didn't mind if they thought I was the devil himself or a fucking whore. The hell with what they thought.

Retsu opened the door of a patience room, one specially made of only one bed and one blue curtain. In there she closed the door behind me and instructed me to strip my haori and shirt off. I glared at her at this, but she didn't saw me. She had distracted herself looking for some medicine and bullshit on a closet beside the door.

I scoffed and did as she told me. I let slip my haori down from my shoulders and untied my waist band to set lose my shukahusho shirt apart. When Unohana had returned from the closet with all those doctor stuff she took a look at me half naked in front of her, probably studying every inch covered in blood and bruises. And again she looked at me with those sad eyes. I took a deep breath to prevent my mouth to shout at her some incoherent curses right there.

"Please sit down over the bed Captain" she instructed next. I looked behind me before sitting on its edge. It was better than to stand still and be tempted to crush things. Once there I glared at her again and again she was distracted doing a healing spell over my arm.

Those hands of hers were so soft and pale. Having them centimeters away from my skin was torturing. Why shouldn't she just touch me with them to end the pain? That would heal me better than that spell she worked on. When I dared to search for her eyes they were completely indifferent to mine, oblivious to me as she worked on the wound in my arm. A heavy stone pressed against my chest and my defying mouth let out a low sigh. Retsu startled and switched her eyes to me. I looked away panicked.

Shit! Why did I do that?

"Did I hurt you, Captain?" her soft voice asked.

What did I do?

"N-no…" I lied. It had hurt me but not in the way she thought.

After a long hesitation she returned on her healing, and I on my staring. My eyes traveled her from her blue eyes to her red lips. My chest ached and I forgot everything about physical pain. What was she doing to me?

When her spell ended and she started to cover my wound with bands I felt her fingers against my skin and a shot of energy was sent to my head. My eyes closed. She might've seen that but I felt like I didn't care any more.

I started to lure her. Her herbs scent was getting me wild; I wanted her to touch me already. I wanted her to look at my eyes and make the pain go away. I needed her now. Why wouldn't she just let me go?

I completely forgot about time when she stood up and showed at me that smile of hers, "All done" she had said, "You can dress now"

I scoffed. I got to admit I was completely disappointed. It all happened so fast that I hadn't realized that in all that time I'd flittered Retsu Unohana, that bitch had me out of my mind. Why wouldn't she just go away?

Once she did I almost felt relieved, but my chest ached. If I'd been stabbed with a rock on the chest it would've felt like this. I glared at her as I dressed and she gathered her instruments and guarded them on the closet she got them out. I was putting on my shirt when she folded her waist inside the closet and my eye got full view of her ass. My face felt on fire. They were so attractive and big that the air of my lungs almost ran out. A small smirk was drawing in my face. She wasn't in bad shape at all. I shook my head when I began to wonder what other wonders she kept hidden from me.

In that she stood straight and I turned placing my haori on my shoulders.

"You should come tomorrow so that I could monitor the stitches on your arm, Captain" she said.

I whirled puzzled, "Ah?"

She smiled, "I need to monitor your stitches to assure you full recovery to go back into the field as soon as possible, Captain."

I stared at her up and down, "Ah huh…" I said pretending to be distracted with my sleeve, "I just hope it doesn't take long, Captain" I murmured heading to the door.

"Captain Zaraki"

I stopped short and so did my heart. I held my breath and turned my head, "What is it?"

She waited so long to talk, "…I hope you recover."

I sighed; once again disappointed washed me over for some reason I couldn't explain myself.

On that night I founded myself waking up in the darkness of my room realizing that I had just woken up from another nightmare, those with her as the point of factor. I couldn't managed to sleep after that. I had gone in to the bathroom to wash my face with water. Regarding my face on the mirror for a long time I saw my eyes were shallow, probably from crying inside of dreams.

I had never cried in real life, but my head just knew how to mess up with me sleeping at night. I began to fall a shamed of myself. I've battled with everything and everyone when I still couldn't battle my own dreams. Only I, me and myself knew my weaknesses.

But on that night I didn't had a clue why I felt weak. Dreaming about her wasn't the case. She wouldn't make me feel so bad. So what was it?

On that morning the unexpected happened. My squad was assigned on a hollow expedition and I was leading it. It felt so good being able to discharge everything with my sword! Oh, if I could just use it to solve every one of my problems I'll be the happiest man in the world. The hollows were extremely easy to handle, but I realized I just needed a bit of my adrenaline set loose to remember the reason why I came to the Seireitei in the first place: to destroy monsters and get paid. Not to worry about what a woman seem to me or what she wanted me to do. I was hell free from her.

I realized I was in a good mood and I invited all of my men for a drink. When we headed out to a special pub on the Seireitei we drank sake until dawn. I was taking advantage of the lil' Yachiru being out on a trip of that women association shit and I drank twice the sake that day. I decided to slip my mind on the cheer of my men and threw up a drinking contest. What a commotion! My men end up betting for me all the time. I was already in my late twenties round when my soberness started to feel affected, but I could still speak coherent. It wasn't until my third Seat Ikkaku decided to dare me in a sake duel that I felt a bit unlike me.

"Oh, it's on, baldy!" I had said once we begun. At saying baldy I realized the sake had started to affect me because only my lil' Yachiru would call him like that, which didn't pissed him off when I was around. Probably because he'll think that I'll kick his ass if he said something bad to my lieutenant in front of me.

When we are at our fourteenth round Ikkaku began to feel his head heavy as I started to lose my balance on a chair. Having the biggest cups of sake on the house was a bad idea after all. I had an unease feeling that I needed to get back to my office and it was getting late. When I was about to withdrew the competition Ikkaku fell like a rock from his chair. The men around us cheered in celebration as I pushed my chair backwards and tried to stand. Once I did the earth beneath me wiggled like gelatine and I reached the walls for support. After hours on a trip that normally took me half an hour I made it to my barracks. When I opened the door to my office I felt a familiar spiritual pressure inside of it.

When I closed the door behind me I frowned to see who it was.

The lights of me office rebounded on her pale face. Her goddess like factions made my heart jump out of place. I chuckled, and I founded myself surprise of how drunk I was, "Captain Unohana in me offizz?" I decided to walk to her without the support of the wall, losing some balance in my journey, "He, he. What brings such a beautiful lady in mere night?" I was enjoying muyself even do I looked as a complete fool.

Unohana was a bit frowned, "Have you been drinking, Captain?"

My head went to aside and so did my feet but I make it straight again without falling, "What makes ya think that?"

"You have been drunk all day while I've been waiting for you for what we discussed yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" I frowned but then a big grin was drawn in my face, "Oh. You mean the sex thing?"

Unohana blinked puzzled, "Excuse me?"

I tripped falling in my knees. She ran and crouched beside me supporting my shoulders, "You need to lie down, Captain Zaraki." She instructed me, "You're in no condition to be walking"

"Yeah, whatever you say Mom" I chuckled being lift up by her, in that I grinned, "Mmm, you smell so nice, Retsu", I hadn't realize I had just addressed her with her first name. My face was so close to hers and she took my arm over her shoulders to carry me to my desk to sit, "You said I needed to lay down, but this isn't a bed. Te-he, and I'm the drunk one here…"

"Just sit down, until I can check if your wounds are recovering." She said kneeling to my arm and checks the stitches she made the day before.

"Yeah, right…What an excuse…I know you're jus doin' this to impress me. You're just here to flirt me"

It looked like Unohana was trying hard not to look directly at me, "You seem just fine. Your wounds will be healed in no time, Captain"

I sighed closing my eyes. Even drunk I'd had enough of her shit, "You idiot."

I stretched my hand to grab her nape and pull her to my face. Our mouths touched. She tasted like herbs and mint it sent me wild. Her soft lips against mine were so delicate and delicious I couldn't have enough. Her spiritual pressure was so low that she was calm. I was drunk, but not enough to think this was right. And still it felt so good. My mind just whirled back to this moment and its diverse tastes. The earth stopped existing to me. I was surrendered to that woman all of the sudden. I felt her lips move against mine as her hands climbed up in my chest. My insides tickled in desire. She was enjoying this as much as I was.

That was enough to trigger my whole body into motion. As my tongue entered her mouth I pushed her slowly so that my body ended up on top of hers on the floor. My lips began to travel down to kiss her chin uncontrollably. I lost everything. I didn't even do what I was doing. I was panicked of myself and I couldn't stop me. And the worst part of all was that she wasn't fighting back. She was moaning when I began to kiss her neck just under her ear. It was her weak spot, I realized smiling, biting gently her ear. I was drunk enough to touch her body up and down under me. All the boundaries of respect had been crushed down now.

Now she knew I was into her. I needed to stop now.

"What am I doing?"

I stopped just over Unohana's lips when I heard her whisper that, "I do not know…" I strangely answered her kissing her wildly again. She kept me closer to her by grabbing my nape; she didn't want me to stop? But this was enough. I lost myself on her. I needed to stop before it could go any further, "Please…" I gasped between our lips, "…make me stop… This is too…much-"

"No" she gasped, "No. Please don't stop…"

I frowned at her raising my face to look at her eyes, "You don't…Why?"

Unohana smiled at me dreamily, placing her hand in my cheek, "You're drunk. You won't remember any of this in the morning…I want to try this, at least this once." Her words were so puzzling, too much for my drunkenness to understand. The only thing I could was the very thing of feeling sad at her words, "Kiss me, Kenpachi…please." She said, "Make it last until you pass out…"

I was speechless. She was actually dead serious to this. But I didn't hesitate on kissing her again. This time our mouths crashed together hungrily and our bodies were pressed together. The air in my lungs evaporated. Did I really wanted this? Do I really needed her that bad?

But in the end it didn't even mattered because the last thing I heard from her was a thank you and I fell into darkness.

AN: Thanks for reading. This was originally a one shot but I want it to continue. This is a short story I placed my frustration into because the KenXUno story I'm working out isn't enough and it hasn't convinced me. So I used this to try out something better.

If you have any comments please review! I will continue this shortly X3