Disclaimer: I do not own girl meets world or the songs or movies mentioned in this story. I also do not own the title, it is a Sylvia Plath quote.

The first time Josh kissed Maya he was eight and she was six, the entire Mathews family along with Maya had gone to spend Fourth of July weekend at the cabin at the lake. When he thought back on it, Mountain Springs Lake really was a beautiful backdrop for a first kiss, even if it was just a peck on the cheek. Riley, Maya and Josh had been engaged in an intense game of tag one night with some of the other kids in neighbouring cabins, when Josh decided to make his move. He and Maya had somehow ended up hiding behind a huge oak tree as Riley tried to catch all the kids running around. Up until that summer Josh had never thought of liking a girl, as far as he was concerned they all had cooties and he didn't want to catch anything like that. But Maya was different, she didn't want to play princess or play with dolls, she wanted to climb trees, build tyre swings, jump from the diving board and do all the cool things he liked. He was angry when his mommy told him that Riley would be bringing a friend, he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to do anything fun because she would be just like Riley and want to stay indoors all day playing make believe and dress up. He loved Riley but he wanted to have fun at the lake. He had planned not to talk to Riley's friend all week but as soon as they got there she had somehow convinced Riley to climb the tree behind the cabin and it wasn't long before Josh was following them, laughing as he tried to help Riley catch up to Maya.

To this day he doesn't know what possessed him to do it, maybe it was because the moon light made her look so pretty, or maybe it was because seeing her struggle to keep her laugh in made him really happy, but before he knew what was happening he was leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He didn't know what he expected her to do, maybe run away or yell at him, but he did not expect her to giggle and mimic his action. Just as quickly as he had done it, she jumped up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He reached up to touch the spot where her lips had been and tried to control his breathing.

"Come on" Maya giggled and gabbed his hand as she left in search of a better hiding spot.

That was only one of the many kisses that Maya and Josh would share throughout their lifetimes but few of the kisses that followed it would mean so much to them as that first peck under the moonlight on the third of July.

The next time Josh and Maya kissed it was Maya that took the initiative. He was twelve and she was ten and Maya had come to Philly with Cory and the rest of his family to get away from the city in August. The change in Maya since the last time he had seen her was undeniable, his mother had warned him that she might be a little shaken up because her dad had left. She was still the same cool girl he knew, but she had lost the light behind her eyes she used to have. She didn't even laugh when they watched School of Rock the night before, the only time he had seen her smile, but really smile like she meant it, was when he grabbed her hand so she wouldn't be scared while watching reruns of Are you Afraid of the Dark? the week before. The kiss occurred one day when his father and Cory were at the store and Topanga had taken Riley grocery shopping. As his mother was upstairs folding laundry, Josh and Maya had opted to stay on the couch watching the old episodes of Icarly that Riley had put on.

"I really don't get the big deal about first kisses" Maya declared after the episode had finished "I mean it will happen when it happens, why worry?"

"You only think that because you're still ten" Josh rolled his eyes "when you're my age you'll be freaked out too"

"You're not that old Joshua" Maya folded her arms, obviously annoyed at his patronizing tone.

"I'm going into the eighth grade and I've never even kissed a girl" he said "on the lips" he quickly added as an afterthought as he remembered their quick kiss so many years before.

"Kissing is no big deal"

"How would you know? It's not like you've ever kissed anyone"

"So? It's still not a big deal"

"Maya you can't say that if you've never kissed a boy before Maya"

That was when it happened, she sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes before quickly leaning over the couch and pressing her lips to his. Their lips barely touched for more than two seconds, but they were the best two seconds of his life. Despite this though, he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed when she pulled away.

"See?" she smiled "no big deal"

"Hey!" he answered "you can't just go around kissing people. I'm supposed to kiss you not the other way around. I'm the boy"

"And then I get to do the laundry and cook the dinner?" she raised an eyebrow "it's the twenty first century Josh, girls can do whatever we want"

"Still" he huffed "I wanted to be the kisser in my first kiss"

"Do you want a do over? Because it may be a lit-" he never found out exactly how she would have ended that sentence because he cut her off by pressing his lips to hers, only this time it lasted a little longer. This time it was Josh who pulled away, and Maya swore the slight pull she felt on her lower lip as he did so was the most marvellous feeling in the world.

"Better?" she smiled and this time he could tell she really meant. The light in her eyes was back.

"They were both pretty great" he blushed and ran upstairs embarrassed at what he had just done.

The next time they kissed was not as special, as a matter of fact the entire Mathews family was there to witness it along with Maya's mother and Shawn. They were eighteen and sixteen respectfully and they were all at Cory and Topanga's on Christmas Eve, Morgan and Eric had even come to celebrate. Of course Eric being the incredible big brother that he was, was not about to miss an opportunity to cause his little bro any embarrassment. When Maya opened the door to Josh and the opportunity presented itself, Eric grabbed at it enthusiastically.

"Sorry I'm late" Josh said as he walked through the front door "the subway broke down"

"MISTLETOE!" as Eric yelled and pointed towards the front door, every other conversation taking place stopped and all eyes moved to the young couple "Josh and Moesha are standing under mistletoe! Pucker up guys"

"Her name is Maya, Erik" Josh replied.

"Okay. Josh and Malala are under the mistletoe, you know what that means" he made kissy faces at them.

"It's Maya" the girl in question spat "and that's a stupid tradition"

"Come one" Riley smiled "it's no big deal why don't you just kiss?"

"Aside from the death glare that Shawn is sending me right now?" Josh questioned.

"It's just a stupid plant" Maya added "it doesn't mean anything"

"So why don't you just kiss" Morgan smirked.

"Other than because my parents are sat right there?" Maya challenged

"And my entire family" Josh added.

"It's bad luck if you don't" Amy sing-songed

"That's true" Topanga through the young couple a knowing smile.

"Okay" Maya started "you people really need to get a life beca-"

"Oh for goodness sake" Josh cut her off and leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips "are you all happy?" the family responded by cheering and wolf whistling.

"I'm not" Shawn said

"I figured this time I would steal one from you before you got the chance to do the same" Josh whispered to Maya latter as they sat side by side watching It's a wonderful Life.

The first time their tongues touched was the most unromantic situation imaginable. Neither of them meant for it to happen and they both woke up the next morning with headaches and an unavoidable feeling of regret sinking deep in their stomachs. She wasn't even supposed to be here, she was a junior in High school what was she doing in an NYU dorm at a party?

"I hope that's pop in that red cup young lady?" he smirked as he approached from behind.

"Please Joshua" she turned around smiling "as if you didn't drink when you were my age?"

"What are you even doing here?" he hugged her.

"Riley knows the girl throwing the party"

"And where is she?"

"She bailed about twenty minutes ago with Ranger Rick"

"That was nice of her"

"It's fine, I'm going to go home anyway"

"No you're not" he grabbed her hand "I need a partner for beer pong and I know you rock at it, come on"

Despite having beat anyone that dared challenge them on the beer pong table, they were both drunk by the end of the night. Josh had somehow convinced Maya to stay and enjoy the party with him and somewhere between dancing to Talk Dirty and International Love they wound up in his dorm room engaged in an incredibly heated kiss. Josh couldn't tell where is mouth stopped and hers began but he wasn't about to stop her. He had been dreaming of kissing her like this for as long as he could remember. By the time Maya's phone started ringing, she was lying underneath josh on his bed as he played with the buttons on her shirt, his having been discarded long ago.

"Riley?" she asked as she dropped her forehead against his and pulled her phone to her ear "what's wrong?"

"We were supposed to meet thirty minutes ago at the front door" Josh herd his niece yell down the phone "where the hell are you?"

"Umm" Maya started "I'll be there in ten minutes" she hung up. "I need to get going"

"Uhh" he started awkwardly "yeah"

"So… bye"

"Ummm yeah I'll see you whenever"

Josh felt like screaming as soon as he heard the door close behind her. He had just blown his chance with the girl of his dreams. What the hell was he thinking? They were both drunk, this never should have happened, not like this. It was supposed to be romantic, it was supposed to be special. He would never forgive himself for this. How far would they have gone if Riley hadn't called? How could he possibly let her do this when she had been drinking? They didn't see one another for months after. As a matter of fact, they didn't see each other again until that august when the Mathews made their annual trip to Philly in august, this time alongside Maya, Shawn and a very pregnant Katie Hunter. Needless to say, they avoided each other like the plague and they were both as miserable as possible.

"What the hell is going on with you too?" Morgan asked her brother one day when they were both working in the store "What happened to your usual flirting and wistful stares?"

"What are you talking about Morgan?" he tried to laugh off.

"Do you really think that no one has noticed the way you two have been acting around each other for the better part of a decade? Now what happened?"

"Nothing"

"Try again"

"Morgan…"

"What did you do Joshua?" she crossed her arms.

"I really messed up. I think I've ruined it for good"

"I'm sure that's not true. Tell me what happened"

"I can't. It's too embarrassing"

"Josh, no matter what I'm sure the solution is just to talk to her and then you can go back to your old pent up sexual tension instead of this awkward silence thing you're doing. It's really getting on everyone's nerves"

"I don't know if I want to go back to the way things were"

"You really like her huh kid?"

"I think I'm in love with her"

"Then you know what to do little brother"

"Maya" Josh walked out to the garden later that night where the family were enjoying their dinner and the warm Philadelphia summer air "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course"

"Alone" he looked around at his incredibly invasive family.

"So now you want to talk to me?" she asked once his bedroom door was closed and they were protected from nosey ears "You haven't said a word to me in almost four months" she shoved him onto the bed.

"It's not like you were banging on my door to talk Maya"

"I didn't know if you were angry at me or-"

"Angry at you? I'm angry at myself, I took advantage of you Maya"

"Josh" she sighed and sat next to him on the bed "no you didn't. It was completely consensual, we had both been drinking, it was just as much my fault as it was yours. I wanted to"

"I feel so bad Maya, I can't even look at you without my gut sinking. What would have happened if Riley hadn't called you?"

"We'll never know Josh so there's no point in feeling guilty over something that we maybe would have done"

"I do know Maya" he looked her in the eye "I would have… if you would have let me… I would have taken your…. Like that, you deserve so much more Maya. I'm so sorry"

"I would have let you Josh, it's not your fault. We were both irresponsible"

"So now what do we do?"

"We go back to the way things were" she nudged him with her shoulder "Kissing's no big deal, remember?"

"Shut up!" he stood up.

"Excuse me" she followed him.

"It is a big deal Maya, at least it is to me. It was a big deal back then and it's a big deal now. Obviously you don't feel the same way but sorry I can't go back to the way things were because I'm falling in love with you! And I'm so tired of-" josh would have loved to have finished his sentence but, as was the habit with them, Maya cut him off my kissing him. Somehow, while he was ranting she had jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist as she did so, and attacked his lips. Not that he was complaining, as soon as he realised what was happening he responded by pulling her legs tighter around him and pressing her against the door as he kissed her back enthusiastically.

"It's a big deal to me too" she whispered when they pulled apart and attempted to catch their breath. He quickly responded by pecking her on the mouth. "You love me?" she whispered.

"Maya I've loved you ever since you ran past me to climb up that tree all those years ago. I've been trying to keep up with you since"

"I love you too" she got up on her tip toes and met him for a sweet slow and tender kiss, expressing everything they had been holding in for twelve years.

"Oh My God!" Riley came through the door "Finally!"

"Riley!" Maya began "don't tell anyone yet, please?" Josh looked at her surprised that she wouldn't want to share their good news with the family "I want to enjoy this just us for a while, we've been waiting for years, we deserve our own little paradise even if it's just for a while"

"I couldn't have said it better myself" Josh kissed her forehead "What do you say Riles? Do you think you'll be able to keep a secret for a little while"

"I'll try" she whined "but grandma wants you downstairs so if you want to keep this little thing between us, I would stop swapping spit"

"Nice Riles" Maya laughed as they all made their way back downstairs.

"Did you kids work out whatever it was you were fighting about?" Amy asked when they arrived outside.

"Yes" Josh said "it was my fault, I was being an idiot"

"I completely agree with that" Maya smirked.

"Nice Hart" he joked back.

As it turns out, their little secret Paradise lasted for months, following them to the NYU dorm room Maya shared with Riley, much to Riley's dismay. Of course she was happy that they were dating, but she was pretty sure if they didn't find somewhere else to have their rendezvous, she was going to out them just to be able to get some alone time. Luckily for her though, they did eventually let their family know that they had finally made the jump from friends to something more, although it wasn't very intentional. Josh had been home for Christmas break for a week already and he was missing Maya like crazy, so when his parents informed him that they would be heading to the city the day before Christmas Eve, he started counting the seconds to when he would see her again. When he arrived and saw her standing in the kitchen, he couldn't control himself. Just like when they were children, it was like his body was on autopilot, he walked right over and pulled her into his arms for a kiss.

"God I've missed you" he told her after their brief kiss.

"I've missed you too" she whispered.

"Ummm" Morgan started "what the hell?"

"Did we forget to mention that we're dating?" Maya tried as Josh tucked her safely under his arm.

"Yes" Cory deadpanned.

"When did this happen?" Amy asked.

"I now" Eric said surprised "I thought you'd never grow a pair and make a move bro"

"Eric!" Allen groaned.

"Seriously!" Amy insisted "when did this happen?"

"Yes Josh" Shawn added "exactly how long have you been stabbing me in the back?"

"Give it up honey" Katy chuckled "we all knew this was going to happen eventually. You're fooling no one, you're happy"

"Seriously?" Amy persisted "how long has this been going on?"

"Mom" Josh smiled "Does time really matter? Isn't the important thing that we're together?"

"How long Joshua?" she raised her tone.

"I love you Ma"

"Joshua…"

"Since the summer"

"SINCE THE SUMMER"

"We were going to tell you eventually"

"Joshua Gabrielle Mathews! How could you keep something like this from your family?"

"It's my fault Mrs Mathews I wanted to keep between the two of us for a little while and it just got out of hand"

"Maya it's enough that a girl as beautiful and smart as you is dating my son you don't need to take fire for him"

"Wow Mom" Josh said "thanks"

"She's just being honest buddy" Eric laughed.

"You owe me fifty buck buddy" Auggie held his hand out to his eldest uncle.

"You were betting on us?" said Maya.

"Not all of us" Augie replied "just Uncle Eric, Aunt Morgan, Eva and me"

"That makes it so much better" Josh said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Well I for one am happy" Topanga said "congratulations guys"

A few years later they found themselves back on square one, the cabin at Mountain Spring Lake. The entire family was there to once again spend the Fourth of July week only this time it was Shawn and Katy's three year old twin sons trying to climb the trees and Augie and Ava swinging on the tyre swing. Riley spent her time walking around the lake with Lucas, trying to enjoy every minute of the summer before he had to head back to Illinois to finish his last year at North Western. Maya and Josh on the other hand, spent their days trying to relax and soak up the sun as a means to recover from the chaotic last few days they had had trying to move into their new apartment. Maya was in her last year of the NYU architecture program while Josh had just been taken on full time by MSNBC as an associate producer. The day before the picnic and fireworks he had somehow convinced her to ditch their family in favour of a date night. They kept it simple, a trip to the local diner and a walk around the town. That was the great thing about their relationship, they didn't need excitement or distractions; they were content to simply be with one another. They finally arrived back at the cabin at around nine thirty but Josh for some reason was insistent on them taking a trip around the back.

"Do you remember the last time we stood here?"

"How could I forget?" she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Okay promise not to laugh?"

"Why would I laugh Josh?"

"We came back here when I was thirteen, the summer you were at camp remember?"

"Yes"

"Well I missed you a lot that summer so…" he pushed a branch out of the way and Maya saw what he was talking about. There engraved in the tree were there initials. JM + MH

"Josh that's so cute" she kissed him "a little cheesy but mostly adorable"

"Yeah well that's my signature move"

"Don't I know it"

"Maya" he got down on one knee.

"Oh My God!" she felt the tears rushing to her eyes.

"Maya" he tried again, although this time it was noticeably more difficult as there were tears threatening to escape from his eyes "I love you more than words can say and if you'll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you make me. I know we've only been dating for three years and I know we're young and still figuring life out but I want to figure it out with you. I love you so much, so what do you say? Maya Penelope Hart, will you make me the luckiest man on earth and agree to marry me?"

"Yes" she barely whispered "of course I will" she cried just as he lifted her off her feet and pulled her in for a kiss. So this is where they ended up, in the same place they started. Kissing under the oak tree at Mountain Springs Lake, both happier than they could ever imagine they would be.

"You guys can come out! She said yes" Suddenly Maya was being bombarded with hugs and kisses, both from her old family and her new one.

"Oh Maya" Amy hugged her future daughter in law as they both shed tears hysterically "I'm so happy, I always knew it would be you"

"Welcome to the family Maya" Cory hugged her "although I'm pretty sure you've always been a member of our family"

"I'm still not going to call you my aunt!" Riley whispered, obviously trying to fight off her own tears "but I'm so happy for you peaches. I love you"

"I love you too"

"Hey" Josh chuckled "give me back my fiancée"

So yes Maya and Josh had shared a lot of kisses throughout their life together and of course some meant more than others but they all meant something. It was the way they spoke to one another. Sometimes a kiss could mean I like you, just like their first, other times it was a way to show affection when they weren't allowed to otherwise. Sometimes it meant something as simple as hello, or please or thank you but behind every kiss there was one common thought. Each kiss was a way to show how much they meant to one another.

AN/ Most of you probably noticed that there is only a two year age gap here. I don't really get why Disney say it's three years, if you look at their birthdays it's only two. Maybe it's because I'm from the Boy meets world generation but I chose to use those dates. Also, I don't really like uploading my oneshots because honestly their more like exercises than pieces of writing for me. I don't really think my oneshots are my best work but there is a shocking lack of joshaya fics out there so I decided to upload this in the hopes that someone enjoyed it. As always, please leave a review and let me know what you thought.