It was a world mystery. It was the question of the century. The apple of New York, the Fan of Temari. It was ----

Okay. Shut up. WE GET IT.

Once upon a time, when Orochimaru was younger…..he went after a certain person. A certain…Uchiha. Itachi. Itachi was younger too. So it was a long long time ago. Such a long time ago that the all - famous Sasuke wasn't even born yet. Oh, that little…

Anyway.

Itachi was four, and alone. His parents? They were out on a "Parent Date", which for some reason he was never allowed to go with. He had made himself some eggs, with chocolate syrup. He was so proud, but when he found he's done a despicable job, he threw up. Little Itachi was on his way to the trashcan, and he saw a tall man. His first instinct was that it was his father.

"Daddy?" asked little Itachi with a smiling voice, "Are you back from the date with Mommy? Do you want some of my chocolate eggs?"

"Um…okay." Orochimaru answered and took a handful and shoved it down his throat. He didn't bother to chew since he would bit his oversized tongue. He felt his throat close up, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He clutched his throat, and fell backwards, fainted.

"Oh no! I killed my dad- Daddy what happened to your hair? Did you get a weave?" There was no answer. There was only silence. "Oh shit he's dead! And he's not even my daddy!" With teary, wide eyes, he dragged the strange white-skinned man to the backyard. Leaving the man behind a bush, just incase some drunkee should come into the yard. He skipped to get a shovel. Then skipped back merrily, and began to dig a hole. He was happy now. He liked to dig holes.

He dragged the man from the bushes and threw him into the hole. But his arms stuck out after he piled the dirt back on.

"Ah well" he shrugged, a groan coming from beneath him. Itachi pouted and slammed the shovel against the arms.

"MOW!" Came the strange man's muffled voice, "CHOU MIDDLE WRITCH." Followed.

"Mow, chou middle writch? Is that some kind of creepy white dude speak?"

"Nmon I man-"

"SHUT UP!" Itachi banged his arms again, and walked off. "Crazy man, don't he know when you are buried you don't talk? I don't hear Snuggles the bunny saying anything." Itachi soon went to sleep, leaving his parents to the surprise of pale arms in the ground.

"Itachi? We're homey." Called his mother, walking through the house.

"I'll go check the backyard for no reason what so ever." His father said, in a tiny voice.

WHAM! Mr. Uchiha woke up in a bright room, covered by a sheer white blanket. He look to his side and the white-skinned stranger lay next to him. Apparently not wearing any clothes.

"I've never had anyone that wasn't a minor, but I must say that you were pretty good."