HLA part 1
HLA Dating & co.
(A sci-fi love story with a twist)
Chapter 1
Phil was completely bummed out. To put it mildly, being the left one instead of the leaver didn't go down to well.
Normally it was the other way round, he would go back to sea and just before get rid of the lady friend of the moment. It doesn't sound very friendly, but he always tried to do it in a nice way. And now, this time. He was doing everything by the book. Not going back to sea because of his health. And what happens??
He is getting the "it isn't you but me" speech. He recognized it before she was five words into it. He had given that speech so many times he could almost do it in his sleep.
" I am sorry honey, but……. this just isn't going to work, I have to go back and work and wont be around for over 4 months, it just wouldn't be fair to you. Bla bla bla."
The only twist in that speech this time was that it wasn't him and it wasn't his regular job she was complaining about.
"I am sorry baby, but this just isn't going to work, it is me not you, but I just cant handle all the fan madness. Complete strangers walking up to us asking for a picture and an autograph, the other women who are all over you. And you hugging them as if you like them. Treating me as if I am not there. I am no good at the rock and roll live style you have going on." And so on.
He knew the speech, he knew he would survive. It did tick him off that she called him baby. Come on, he wasn't anything like a baby. Except maybe his apparently baby blue eyes.
And she had met him because of the rock and roll live style, she was one of those 'complete strangers walking up to him for a picture and a hug' and he had been feeling lonely that day, and she was hot, so a bit more happened than just a hug. But that wasn't normal. If it was he would be the energizer bunny.
"Phil, hey Phil."
He snapped out of his musings and became aware of his surroundings again.
"You don't have to tell me what it is, but whatever it is, fix it. Because I can't increase the dose without side effects."
He was sitting in the doctor's office and his blood pressure was thru the roof again. And his doctor just wanted to know what caused that.
"Never mind doc. It will be all over the net by now anyway, I am single again. I got dumped."
" The redhead you had with you last time?"
"Yeah that one."
" Sorry to say so, but good riddance. She clearly wasn't the brightest bulb in the store. And way to young and well, not nice."
What the doctor was actually trying to say was that she was a cold hearted gold digger if ever he had seen one, and he knew, having been married to two of them and still paying staggering amounts alimony himself.
"I know doc, I know, but I was trying to make this one work, I am sick of being alone. And, unless you are now going to tell me that I can go back and work normally, I need someone, you know for stress relieve and exercise."
That last part with a big grin. Because he knew the redhead was a big mistake the first time he woke up next to her. But she had been hot, and great as stress relieve for as long as it lasted.
"How did you find that one anyway?" the doctor wanted to know.
"Well she actually found me. Pretending not expect meeting me there and know to much about me, but later Josh found out she had a computer file on me including all the tour dates. So, so much for an accidental meeting or a spontaneous action."
" If she did go around it the scientific way, why don't you? I might know of just the solution."
Phil didn't exactly jump at the idea, but he really was bored with being alone, and now with the 'Rock and Roll' life style, meeting a nice woman in a normal way was almost impossible.
"Okay, tell me about this scientific way of dating. How many questionnaires do I have to make?"
"None, that is the scientific part of it. No semi working stuff about 'liking' the same things, or being dog or cat lovers, not even about brand dating. No it is all pure science."
And the doctor got on his soapbox. Or what ever it is called.
" There has a lot or research done about what attracts women to men, and the key seems to be the smell. A test has been done among students, always-easy victims because they will do about anything for money in the name of science. A big group of male students where instructed to sleep in the same white T-shirt for a week. While on a rather strict diet of no garlic, onions, alcohol, cigarettes, asparagus, vitamin B or other stuff that might change their bodily smell. After that an even bigger group of female students where asked to smell the t-shirts not knowing to who they belonged. And the outcome was that the females who where ovulating around the test date liked some shirts way more than others. Only they didn't all like the same shirts. But different ones. The females nowhere near ovulating didn't have such a strong reaction.
So the shirts where frozen in liquid nitrogen, and two weeks later the test was repeated with the same females, and now the ones who had the strong preference the first time didn't this time. And the ones who didn't the first time did now, because they where now ovulating.
Do you see the significance of this?"
Well no Phil didn't have a clue.
" It is all a matter of hormones and sub consciousness. Because now it becomes interesting.
Blood test where done of the male and female students, and it showed that the female test persons preferred the smell of a male who had the lowest number of the same HLA markers. And HLA markers are a way of testing some ones immune system. We normally use it when someone needs a donor organ. But in that case you want as many the same as possible.
And now we find out that females prefer males with an HLA makeup that is as far removed from theirs as is possible. And they detect it by smell. So forget aftershave or deodorants. Smell like yourself when dating.
And it is purely sub conscious, the ladies cant resist a 'good' smelling male. And it makes perfect genetical sense, baby's with as many different HLA genes are healthier and more capable to fight of infections that baby's with just a few.
For example, every human has 12 different HLA genes, 6 from mommy and 6 from daddy.
And if you mother has ABCDE and G, and your dad has ABCDF and H. The children can at most have eight different ones. While if the mother has ABCDE and F and the father has GHIKL and M. than you will have 12 different ones, and so more protection.
Also interesting, males don't seem to smell any difference. But they do like females who are ovulating more, seems they are more feminine of hot at that time.
So what do you think?"
Phil gave it some thought.
" So no silly list of questions but I just give you a test-tube with my blood and you do some scientific mumbo jumbo and I get the perfect match?"
"Well no. A pretty brilliant, and greedy, guy from Switzerland developed the test and he started a dating agency. With members from around the world, because the probability of finding someone with a less than 70% mismatch is small, so they have a big data base. And then it is a matter of timing, because you have to meet around the female ovulation. But it works; if there is a more than 70% mismatch the results are close to 100 %.
Of course because it is an expensive dating agency the members are mostly well to do European, American, Canadian or Asian business people or professionals who just don't have time to date. And most of them speak some English, so communication isn't such a big issue, except for the French because they refuse to speak other languages."
The doc knew all this because he had entered himself, after two gold diggers he decided he wanted someone who liked him for his smell instead of his bank account.
"Okay, so what does it cost?"
As always straight to the point.
"Well I went for just the American population, and then it is 5000 dollar, if you want world wide it is 10,000. But for that money they also pay the airfare for the first four matches. And that is because they are sure you only need one."
Phil took about 20 seconds to think it over.
" Okay where do I sign up and get my blood drawn?"