"1 w4n7 70 ch4ng3 0n3 d4y...8u7 n0 0n3 und3r574nd5!"

I wasn't always like this from the first time I crossed in existence. In fact, like all of the other dancestors, I was normal, I was smart, I was following my fathers footsteps and my brother was proud of me. I remember only vaguely of my past self now, but I never really revealed what actually happened to me that day. Yes, the day where I became, insane. From that day forward, I lost my mind, my memory, my physical stability...I lost myself. And now, it is time that I finally put this down, and reveal the real truth of my falling. The real cause of this brain damage that slowly and silently drove me into madness.

I remember how me and Cronus use to be good friends at one early point in my lifetime. He use to be pretty close to me like a moirail. Every single afternoon, we would go about our daily business. We would constantly talk about anything and everything, hell, we even use to sneak away from our ancestors just so he could light up a cigarette without being caught by the other Ampora's. We were like brothers, like a second family. And back then, even Eridan got on with Sollux. We had a great life and a perfect bond that made me happy for the first time in my life. I was in such a wonderful place in my own little world. I had a good idea on certain knowledge, I use to be so creative and strong, which is what Cronus use to crave as a wriggler himself. I remember my brother use to play PsiBall with me, which is like the human game Dodgeball, but with our psionics. Everything, in every way, was perfect. I even got a matesprit, It just couldn't of got any better.

That is, until my 12th solar sweep came and went...

I was roaming around my realm, on my skateboard as always, looking for Cronus so we could hang out and spend my wriggling day with him like we always did. I kept searching for him regardless of my patience, and I looked forward to seeing him. It was then, as soon as I approached the spot where we would usually find each other, I saw him. Although, he was with my matesprit, Latula. It was strange to find Latula with Cronus since she use to tell me he was a bit of a loser, but I guess they were both waiting for me. I started to approach him when I noticed some odd behavior coming from the both of them, they seemed to have been discussing something quite personal...Something TOO personal. It was then it happened, the image that will never again leave my mind...They both admitted they had flushed feelings for each other.

My heart dropped as I saw them kiss and hold each other, I couldn't believe what I was seeing...My own best friend and my mate, betraying me in front of my eyes...My pale, tearing and confused eyes. I couldn't just stand there, I had to do something to make my presence known and to confront this situation. I lost control and had enough, and broke them both apart with my bare hands. A shocked Cronus and a surprised Latula was looking up at me, trying to cover up with expression that nothing had happened as if I was just imagining things. But I saw everything, and they know I did.

It was then, I grabbed Cronus by the shirt and shouted "Why?! Why w0u1d y0u b37r4y m3 l1k3 7h47?!" he just given me a sunken look and pushed me away screaming back at me "I didn't mean to! I wwas just talking to her and then wwe...wwe got carried awway..." I couldn't believe it, he was lying to me for the first time in forever...I then turned to Latula, who was obviously quite scared of me at this point, wondering when I was going to grab her too...I just stood above her, my eyes began to static furiously, twitching in anger, I slapped her across the face with nothing else to say. It was then...I started running home, crying and split in two, the static grew stronger and stronger as I kept moving...Then, finally...I collapsed.

Agony could not describe the pain I was truly in, I started tossing around the empty field I was laying on, this uncontrollable torture from my own psionics and the combination of confusion, heartbreak, sadness and rage...Caused the inevitable to happen. I became...permanently brain damaged.

I was in a coma for almost a week before I woke up to a worried father and an enraged brother trying to find answers from the other dancestors about what happened to me. I felt my head (or what was left of it.) to find I was wearing a helmet. No one explained the helmet, but I gathered later it was something to do with covering up the damage. Across the room, I saw her...Latula. She was devastated, she was almost crying in a way where she felt it was entirely her fault. Honestly, it was. But then again, Cronus was the main perpetrator. I decided to forgive her even though I couldn't remember much of what she exactly did, I just trusted my instincts and forgave her.

After several weeks of strenuous therapy and recovery, I returned back home...Although, I didn't return as myself, I returned as a monster...A real, fucking monster. I slammed by bedroom door, pacing left to right holding my head, breathing deeply and solemnly, mumbling words that I could no longer speak without extreme effort...But in my mind...I just kept telling myself to die.

Now, at this present moment, I am finally going to end this madness. Finally after my last breath, with only a rope to caress my neck...I spoke:

"1 ju57 w4n73d 70 83 r4d1c4l..."

Before I knew it, the last of my conscious mind rolled along memories...Memories I wish I could relive...Just one more time...But now is the time for me to close my eyes.

"C'm0000n Cr0nu5! C47ch m3!"...

"You can do it MT! I just knoww it!"...

"U 4r3 7o74lly R4D!"...

"YoU aRe OnE cOoL mOtHeRfUcKeR MT."...

/\_/\_/\_/\_