Summary : Their paths crossed once but both forget. Will they remember each other? Before it's too late, of course.
Disclaimer : I do not own PATO.
Pairing : Erik/Raoul
Warning : Slash, Abuse, Rape
Word Count: 3022
Note: I am not a native speaker. I have no Beta. And, this is my first time writing fanfiction. -wince- Please bear with me. I'm not sure how this story will go out in full. I do have a plot outlined but I appreciate any ideas. In fact, I welcome them greatly. And constructive criticism. Please no flame.
Chapter 1: Dare to go?
Raoul sat at the window seat sullenly. His usual cheery face pull into a tight frown. He had agreed to come along on his father's annual hunting event but once there at the lodge and seeing all the many weapons and traps being carried in, he just couldn't stomach the thought of hurting an innocent animal. He literally had cold feet. Sure, he did eat meat but not really knowing where they came from and having a hand in killing them are two different things. All the beaters, lances, daggers and swords he had seen since yesterday in the makeshift weaponry room only highlight his point even further. He wouldn't want to feel like prey, ever, like how the poor animals that is going to be hunted would be feeling today. He wouldn't want a sharp sword pointed his way, that's for sure.
Raoul shuddered and pulled the blankets around his shoulder tighter. He remembered how his father had place a sword near his throat in one of his bouts of rage. He glances at said man below directing the loading of equipment. The twilight outside still lingers but the throngs of day were beginning to show its signs. If Raoul listened carefully, he could hear the sounds of the early birds rising.
Father and Philippe, along with the other nobles who were invited, will be camping in the forest near town for three days. Their big sporting event is to see which house can earn the most catch in three days and they will win the right to brag for the whole year, till the next event that is. So far, the Comte has held that title for Six Years straight and he is very proud of it. They leave as dawn breaks which is probably soon. His brother had told him many stories about the Event in this amazing Blue Fountain Forest, well, except for why it is called as such. But Raoul didn't really care about the name. Some of the stories he had heard are filled with fantasy, some to scare him off, but most was filled with adventure. Philippe had been in his element, too excited when he told them these magnificent tales. He had never seen his brother that exuberant before. He hated to see the disappointed look his brother had threw him when he told Philippe and father yesterday over dinner that he was not going to the event. Father was extremely pissed. He had called him many names but Raoul knew it was coming and steeled himself for the onslaught. Philippe had remain quiet and excuse himself when he could and Raoul had not heard of him since then.
In truth, the reason he had immediately agreed without thinking it over, was due to the fact that his father had extended the invitation out to him. Him, Raoul. His father had never done that, only thinking him as a 'nuisance' or whatever that word means. He was fairly certain it didn't mean anything good. He had learned long ago never to ask silly questions unless he wanted to look like a fool, which he tried to avoid. His father's approval was at stake.
His mother tried talking him out of it, saying he was too young to go and for him to wait a few more years before he should go. Knowing him so well though, she knew he can't pull back his answer to father. His building pride, or as much pride a six year old could have, had ensure he went along with his decision. His mother was most displeased by his actions but didn't argue further as she saw how it only upsets him more. She knew and understood why he had to do it but it doesn't mean she has to like it.
"Penny for your thoughts, dear brother?" Philippe whispered besides his ear.
Raoul yelped in surprise and jumped of the window seat only to fall in a tangle heap of blankets near his brother's feet. It felt like his heart had jumped to his throat! A deep and rich laughter filled the room and Raoul knew it wasn't his. He was suppose to be angry with his brother but he just couldn't stay mad at him, not when he knew he wanted to be on Philippe's good side since he was about to abandon him and stay at the lodge.
He did manage a fierce glare, though it didn't have the desired effect he wanted. Instead, Philippe whom had regained his bearings began another round of laughter. Raoul rolled his eyes and gingerly untangled himself from the menace that was these blankets but after a while of struggling he gave up and looks on pitifully at his brother, hoping for mercy. He was too tired and it was too early for this.
His brother gave him a huge grin and his infamous knowing look. His brother reads him so well, that Raoul was aware. With one motion, Philippe had grab onto the edge of the blankets and pulled on it hard. Raoul rolled out of them and fell face first into the floor. If he didn't know any better, his brother was doing this on purpose to spite him. Just as he pushed himself from the ground to berate his older brother, he was only met with an innocent Chagny smile.
Raoul sighed. Sometimes he wonders whether their roles were reversed and whether he was the older on instead.
"I thought you would...," Raoul faltered. He thought what? That his brother was still mad?
"Be angry? Disappointed? Leave without saying goodbye to my most beloved baby brother?" Philippe continued cheerfully.
Raoul smiled. A true smile. He could feel some of the tension in himself lessen. Yes, he did think all of that. And it would have hurt if his brother had done all of them. However, when his brother called him by that silly title baby brother, he knew his brother was far from mad.
Just for sake of argument, he grumbled out "I'm your only brother, Philippe, and hardly a baby."
He felt himself being pulled into a tight hug. He only tensed for a fraction of a second before giving in and hugged his brother back. His brother had to crouch down low to reach him now. It shows how tall his brother had gotten. It shows how far Raoul needed to go before he can catch up to his brother.
"It's partly my fault. I should have anticipated this. I knew you loathe these activities, Raoul. I shouldn't have encouraged you to come with all the stories but truth be told, I was guiltily excited when you said you would come," said Philippe a little bitterly.
"No. It is mine. I should have known my own limitations." Raoul admitted.
"Raoul..."
"No, brother. Let's not argue. I will only ruin your mood more."
Raoul pulled from the hug stiffly to take his place on the window seat, legs crossed, his blankets abandoned on the floor. His brother followed and sat next to him. He didn't see the sad look his brother was giving him. Her merely just watch the men below getting ready. Neither spoke. After what seemed like the longest time and the silence became almost unbearable, Philippe said "I will stay in town with you."
Raoul stared at the taller blonde like he had gone insane. Philippe had spoken nothing but this hunting event since he first found out about it. That was 3 months ago. His bubbling joy had driven his mother and him almost up the wall. Almost. Raoul would have like his brother's company at the lodge but he did not want to see his brother mope around and then eventually blaming him for not being able to go. No, he simply could not do that to his brother.
"Brother, be reasonable. As much as I like your ghastly company, I'd rather stay here by myself."
At his brother's withering look, he amended the last part of his statement "I'd rather stay here with Albert."
His brother adorned a hurt look and asked playfully "And not with me and my ghastly company?"
Raoul grinned. "Never."
Philippe just stared unbelievingly but he had already seen his brother's resolve at dinner yesterday when he told them he would not be going. His baby brother is far too stubborn to argue with, much like another person he knew all too well. Though, he would never admit it. His brother is far too kind to be the same as their father. He sighed. He really wanted to stay with his baby brother and go at the same time. He couldn't leave his brother and yet, he could almost feel the wilderness calling out to him. That, and he wanted to test out his new blade he had gotten for Christmas.
"Can I not change your mind, Raoul?" He ventured, giving it a last try, although he already knew the answer before he had asked.
"Brother, just go. Have fun! I'm sure I'll have my own fun exploring the town with Albert. Besides, you promise mother you would bring her something new to feast on." Raoul grinned and force his tone to sound light and joyful.
"Then, you can tell me stories of your adventures!" Raoul continued without missing a beat and nudges his brother's shoulder with his own, hoping the contact would enough to get his point across. After a moment, he added. "It'll be fine, you'll see. Three days is not too long. In fact, it's a welcome reprise from your annoying presence. "
Philippe snorted at his brother inaccurate use of vocabulary and corrected "Reprieve."
"Yeah, that."
Philippe just laughed and ruffled his brother's hair. He knew his brother was being a martyr about the whole thing and he didn't want to push him. A deep part of him was glad that he would not be stuck in town but he squashed that feeling down almost immediately. He felt bad for even being in that train of thought. He promises himself he'll bring something nice for Raoul who was stuck here, as he couldn't go back without them, and for his dear mother, who was stuck at home.
A knock on the door pulled them both out of their thoughts.
"Enter," Philippe sound out.
Albert, their trusted butler, opened the door and entered.
"Yes?" Philippe questioned. Albert looked worried. That wasn't a good sign.
Albert smiled at both and greeted with a slight bow. "Young masters. The Comte has requested for your presence in his rooms."
The moment Albert said the words presence, Raoul had immediately bolted across the room to his dresser. He checked his complexion, brushed his hair back quickly and tucked his shirt inside. He eyed himself critically and after he was sure he was pleased with how he looks, he plastered a smile, turned to indicate that he was ready. He did not want to keep the Comte waiting.
Philippe was not pleased that his baby brother was becoming too serious too quickly. Raoul was still a child. A child by his standards but his father could not agree. His father believes that Raoul needed to be pushed. And, pushed Raoul he did. Now, his brother had the maturity that he knew he never had at such a young age. In fact, their age difference wasn't that great. He was only eight years older than his younger brother but his father thought that whatever Philippe could do, he expects Raoul to be able to do it to or do it better than he could. He just wish he could change this but there was nothing he could do.
"Brother!" Raoul hissed.
Coming back to the present, Philippe stared at Raoul's angry eyes. That was another thing he hated. Raoul was calling him less and less by his name nowadays opting for the former title 'brother'. He nodded sagely and made his way to their fathers' rooms. He knew his brother didn't like to keep father waiting. He had been lost in thought. He also brush his hair with his hand, tuck in his shirt nicely, while walking towards the study.
Philippe heard the others walking behind him. Sometimes, he hated the responsibility that came with being a first born but he understood his duty to his family. He would have to show up to this event and make his father proud, make the Chagny family proud. It doesn't hurt that it was fun for him sometimes. Though, it doesn't mean he have to like how his father treat Raoul though. For the love of god, he is only six! He knocked his father's door firmly and entered when he heard him call.
Speaking for both of them, Philippe asked "Father. You asked for us?"
"Philippe, where have you been? Have you gotten everything ready?" His father was sitting at the desk, his nose buried in some official looking document, yet you can hear the light tone he always use whenever he talks to Philippe. He rarely found his father in any other position as of late.
"I have finished packing since yesterday, father," he answered bemusedly. His father knows this. He was the one that instilled this habit in him.
He could feel his brother growing more uncomfortable with their father's continued silence. He understood that feeling. His father only talks when he is ready and no one should disturb him if they are not addressed. He suppose Raoul was still not used to this.
"I see," his father finally intoned. He finally finish whatever he was reading, put down the papers and stacked them in a neat pile on one corner of the desk. When he looks up, he met Raoul's eyes and asked coldly "Are you certain you wish to stay here?"
"Yes, father." Raoul replied softly.
The Comte only sneers and looks down at Raoul disappointedly. He knew it was too good to be true that his son would really go through with this. "Then you are not to waste your time. Practice your stances with Albert and your readings. Your tutor mentions you have grown lazy. I will not have that kind of behaviour in my household. Am I to be understood?"
"Yes, father." Raoul parroted his earlier response but only meekly.
"Then, you are dismissed." The Comte said curtly.
Raoul bowed low and left immediately. Philippe saw the hurt in Raoul and tried to catch him so he could comfort him but his father stops him.
"Philippe," his father called. Raoul gritted his teeth. It was a good thing his back was turned or not his father would have canned him for his insolence.
"The horses are almost ready. Let's go through our strategies again on how to win this years' event, shall we?" his father said excitedly while pulling out a stack of papers from the desk drawer.
Philippe could not just simply refuse his father but how he longed to. He needed to be by his brother's side but at last, he stayed. His fathers annoyance wasn't something he wanted so early in the morning. He swear to himself that he would get something magnificent to give his brother as an apology.
That conversation was the last Raoul heard before closing the door to his father's room. He took off into a mad sprint back to his rooms. Before he had the chance to close it fully, he saw Albert's face in the doorway. He paused in his action of slamming the door and shook his head lightly. He did not wish to talk right now. He change the slam he had about to do into firmly shutting the door. He did not lock it.
He took his blankets that was strewn all over the floor and layered it one by one before wrapping himself in it by the window seat. After awhile, he heard Albert enter and close the door. He always did.
"Monsieur..." Albert said lightly.
"Albert, please. I need peace." By this time, he could feel the tears forming in his eyes. No matter how much of an adult he tried to act, no, tried to be, he just couldn't. Not when the tears now flow freely on to his cheek. His breathing had become ragged that he could now hardly breathe.
Albert sighed and just sat by Raoul. This was the only comfort he could offer. He knew the only one that could really comfort him was Lady Angelene but she was not here. Though, an idea struck him. However, he should not openly suggest it. He knows Raoul would immediately object. He decides it's best to layer it with something else first.
"You always find peace in fencing," he suggested, even though in his heart he knows Raoul does not really like it.
Raoul stiffened. His continued hiccoughs died in his throat. Yes, his father wanted him to practice. He wanted him to get better. Though, he really does not feel like doing that about now. He just shook his head, not trusting his voice to not crack. Albert understood.
He watches everyone below getting ready. Some have mounted their horse. Some are laughing while most look tired. After awhile, he finally saw his father and Philippe walking out to their own respective horses. His brother stop mid stride and look up to him. He gestured to his sword on his hip and gave him a brilliant smile. Raoul just waved back to him.
He saw everyone headed out of town, out east where the forest lay. As the last group of nobles from whichever household that crest belong to left, his loneliness began eating on his heart again.
He turned to Albert, feeling himself calm down already. He smiled weakly and said "Let's practice fencing like you suggest then."
Albert smiled knowingly but decide to lay down his idea now before his young master decide to pull back into himself too much before agreeing.
"Since you didn't agree with fencing, I thought of a better idea how you could relax," he said mischievously.
"Err...reading?" Raoul was confused.
"No, something better," he smiled.
"What could be better than that?" Perhaps Albert suggested he draw? But he didn't remember Albert packing his sketch book. Sketching does sounds nice.
"How about you explore the town?"
He frowned deeply. He was sure his father wanted him to practice, not fool around. He'd be dead if his father ever finds out, especially since his entourage just left. What if they bump into them in town? He looks out into the square. It was now dawn. The room have lightened incredibly since he last mope infront of this window. All throughout town, it was showing signs of waking up.
"I won't tell," Albert suggested.
It was tempting. Very tempting. He hardly ever gets to go out since he always had to focus on his studies. The meager chances that he did manage to sneak off with his mother was always fun but did he dare to go? Going out sounded ten times better then sketching, reading or fencing.
"Where will we go?" he couldn't help but ask. He knew he shouldn't but it was far to tempting.
Albert laughs. "It is not where we will go, Raoul. More of, where will you?" At Raoul's confused look, he clarified. "You should explore the town by yourself. Have an adventure. Enjoy. At least you would not be the only one without a story to tell your brother, no? You can compare stories with your brother when he gets back."
At his butler's suggestion, he knew his butler had gone insane. There were too many flaws in that plan.
"What if—" Raoul began to argue.
"I won't tell," Albert echoed his previous statement.
Raoul place a hand over Albert and stated "No, Albert. You don't understand. I am a Chagny. Everyone will know that. Everyone recognizes me. Father will know that I've been out instead of doing what he wishes of me."
Albert thought for awhile. "What if I say I have normal ordinary clothes that would fit you? One that you can use to go without looking like a Chagny?" he parried Raoul's argument.
Raoul couldn't contain his excitement. A secret. One that his father and brother knew not of. He shed from his cocoon of blankets and put them to one side. He brought his knees close to his chest in deep contemplation but he knows his eyes were dancing with enthusiasm. He wanted to go, wanted to explore and be able to have something exciting to tell his brother instead of his usual boring stories of his studies.
His mind made up, he gave Albert a huge smile and nodded. "I'll do it. But, what will you be doing?"
Albert smiles. When was the last time he saw Raoul this excited? It has definitely been too long. "The Comte have left me with a few things to attend to in town. So, technically, I will be there to watch you but you have free reign to roam as you please. But you need to tone down your speech, Raoul. You cannot sound like a noble or people around you will suspect." He looks critically to make sure Raoul understood.
Raoul was nodding more eagerly now in agreement and to prove his point further, Raoul loosen his posture and slouch considerably and slurred his words "Yeah, okay."
Albert winces and said playfully. "Perhaps not too toned down that you sound like an imbecile, alright?"
Raoul laughed and nodded. Albert got up to leave. He need to fetch his young master's clothes. He didn't have a set of ordinary clothes that would fit his master but he fairly certain that the owner of the more run down inn next door had a son nearly the same age as Raoul. He petted his money bag. A few business transaction is in order.
Raoul watch his butler leave. He was afraid, yet excited. Though, he tried to argue that Albert would be there. And no one would recognize him. He look down once more onto the square where people are now bustling to do their morning chores. He sees a few kids in the streets, grumpy from having to wake up so early. Yes, this is going to be a tremendous adventure but most of all, he couldn't wait to finally play with them like a normal little boy.
So, how do you like it? -worries- They haven't met yet but it will come soon. Sorry if it the pace is going to slow. I needed to lay background info out first. I'll update on Thursday but before then, I really like to hear your views.
Read and review!