No, she couldn't be dead. That merry bundle of gray fur, the teasing old fleabag, possibly the only other thing his life revolved around. It couldn't be true! He drank in her sweet scent, her lingering scent that could leave this cruel world any moment-and yet he expected her to lift her sleek head and look at him.
Joy would close in on her features, caressing the smooth curve of her mouth and the rounded tops of her eyes. The soft rounded edge of her silver muzzle, and her sweet smell envloping him in love. Warmth sliding through his slim body as she wound around him, purring at the thought of the danger gone and them safe.
But that didn't matter, the only thing was that never again would he see her in life. And the thought left him in pieces, sending wrenching emotions shivering up and down his gray body. Then here he stood-while in the past, he and she had fantasized about them coming back to the Clans and saving all the Clan cats, and them in love forever.
They had even talked about what would happen when they came back. Would they stay in love and meet with each other secretly? Would they end it, their relationship? But that evil creature had proved them wrong, she had dared to sacrifice herself for him. Grief and love washed over his body and his legs buckled-and the present came rushing back into his mind like water flowing down a waterfall. Heartache jumped into his nerves-she would have wanted him to bear the grief like a true warrior. He sat and buried his face in her fur, and for a fleeting moment he felt something ruffle his fur.
But alas, sadly it was just the breath of the North Wind and all hope of her returning to life slipped out of his grasp-he had to let go. But he didn't want to let go. The strings tethering him to her loosened, and all he needed to do now was sit a vigil. For his beloved.
"I need you, Feathertail." he whispered, choked up with longing.
"Do not fear, Crowpaw. I am here. Someday we'll see another, among the stars," came the reply, but he shook his shaggy head.
"But not for a long time, Feathertail. I don't think I could wait in that much agony for long."
"Trust me, Crowpaw. Forget your pain and turn your eyes to the living. Your Clan needs you. StarClan doesn't need you, not yet."
"But I need you, Feathertail! You were the one who opened my eyes to the world and made me feel better about everything!"
"You don't need me any longer, Crowpaw. You learned, and you will bear the grief like a true warrior."
"Yes I do, Feathertail." But he realized the truth. He needed her, but he wanted her for love, for comfort, for the warmth she filled him with.
"I love you..."
The she-cat's voice fluttered away. The cat buried his head in her sleek fur and closed his gray eyes. He could rest now, knowing she was among the starry cats.
Disclaimed. Edited as of 10/04/08.