Thunder, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own the song, or the Harry Potter series, or any of its characters. In fact, I absolutely nothing.

A/N: This definitely isn't my best work, but I was listening to this song the other day, and I just thought of Snape and Lily, and it just seemed to fit so incredibly well. For me, this song is Snape and Lily.

Thunder" By: Boys Like Girls

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)

He was standing on the hill, waiting. Waiting and hoping that all this waiting, and probably begging and pleading, eventually, wouldn't come to nothing. Then from behind him, was a flash of light. He turned towards it. There was Dumbledore, looking fiercer than Snape had ever seen. Snape dropped to his knees, wandless. This was begging and pleading part. He hoped that Dumbledore would be merciful enough to at least listen to him if he was defenseless, "Don't kill me!"

Dumledore looked down at him, no trace of pity in his eyes, "That was not my intention. Well? Why did you come here? What message does the Dark Lord have for me?" Severus would have rather been anywhere else in the world, he didn't want to be here. Here, here was the road to his own personal hell. "Please," he begged, the prophecy, the prediction, he thinks it means Lily Evans!" Dumbledore did not seem to grasp just how dire the situation was to Severus, and if he did, he made sure not to show it, "The prophecy did not refer to a woman; it spoke of a baby, born at the end of July-"

"You know what I mean!" Seveurs said desperately, "He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down; and kill them all." He looked up at Dumbledore, and there was still no sympathy. "Hide them for me," he begged, "Keep her- them- keep them safe."

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"

Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried

He offered everything to keep her safe, and he had failed. He sat in the headmaster's office, wishing that she had never died, that he had never known her, Sevurus wished that he never fell in love with Lily Evans, so he wouldn't have to feel this pain. Why didn't Dumbledore keep her safe like he promised?

I tried to read between the lines

He would never know what exactly made the Dark Lord choose to kill Lily's family. No matter how much time he ever spent with Voldemort, he would never understand.

I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside

He remembered when he was a boy, and he would watch Lily and her sister play at a local playground. For a long time, he would never approach either of the sisters, simply because of the way that Lily would look at him if she caught a glimpse of him through the bushes. The look she would give him, it wasn't one of disgust or fear, it was of understanding. She would keep his secrets. All of them. Lily understood.

I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

When they got older, and were at Hogwarts, Severus Snape knew that there was something wonderfully different about Lily Evans. But Severus Snape also knew that Slytherins, especially the Slytherins he knew, didn't fall in love with girls like Lily Evans. Maybe that's why in fifth year, he said that one unforgivable word.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

But even after Lily wouldn't so much as look in his general direction, he didn't stop caring about her. They had too much history for that. She was his best friend, his only friend, for the longest time. And in the end, she was the only friend that mattered. Severus remembered all those days when they were little, just sitting and talking on the playground. Even as a child, Severus thoughts would become addled by Lily's eyes. He loved her eyes, they weren't dead and brown like the rest of Severus's world, they were alive. She was alive. Or, at least, she used to be.

I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Lily was what kept Severus from going insane when he was young, she was his rock. And now, now that she was gone, Severus knew that her memory would either drive him mad or keep him sane. One of the two. She was what kept him going, even when she hated him, and if she was still happy, even with James Bloody Potter, then Severus knew he would make it. He would be okay. But it wasn't okay anymore

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know (I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

Dumbledore had said that his path forward was clear. But Severus didn't understand. He had worked to protect Lily, and he had failed. What was left to do but die? Her son? They said that her son is an exact likeness of Potter. What did Severus have to do with him? Wasn't he safe? Didn't he survive? Severus was ashamed to admit it, but couldn't help but loathe the baby just because he lived while Lily did not. What was he supposed to do for the boy? "Protect him." Severus put his head in his hands. Was that what he was supposed to do? For her? For the only person he ever really loved? Was that what Lily wanted? To protect her son?

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

They were right, Severus would find out. Harry Potter was an exact likeness of his father. Except for his eyes, they were the picture of life, just like Lily's. Severus almost wished that Harry's eyes were hazel, and not the glorious green that they were. It would be so much easier to hate him, to not feel the kind of pain that he did when he looked at him. They reminded him of Lily, and every good and bad time they had ever been through together. He so badly wanted to go back to those times, even if they were bad times, that was the point, there was time. Now Lily was out of time, and there was no way out as far as Severus could see.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Now he was risking his own life, everyday, for Lily's son. He would fool the Dark Lord, everyday, every word that came out of his lips would be a lie. And then he would hope that the Dark Lord still believed. In the meantime, he had to convince the Order to trust him, it was a balancing act that he would only ever think of doing for a certain red-head with the greenest eyes you ever saw.

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa whoa whoa)

Lucius Malfoy had told him that the Dark Lord had summoned him. Severus Snape knew what was going to happen next. For years, he had wished for this, but now that Death had arrived, he knew he was not ready. There was still one last thing he had to do. But even as he thought this, he kept walking towards the Shrieking Shack, as if in a daze. And as he was walking, he had only thoughts of Lily. Lily. Lily was always his reason for everything, she was alwasy what he thought of, and now, Lily kept him walking towards his impending doom. She was his strength, his Patronus, his thunder. Lily. Lily. Lily.

He was here, in front of the Dark Lord, practically begging for mercy. But the Dark Lord never showed mercy, not for anyone. And just when he thought he had failed Lily again, he saw her green eyes looking down at him. On Potter's face. He was still alive, but just barely. He had just one more chance.

And bring on the thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

He had done it. He had lived just long enough to help the boy, and the only thing he could do now was die hoping that he had helped. The only thing left to do now was die looking into the very picture of life, the only thing he ever lived for.

Lily