Title: Normal
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: TsengxReeve
Rating: cute
Summary: 'Normal' is such a relative term….
Tseng came into the Turks' floor, dropped his lunch box in a wastebasket and proceeded towards his desk, already mapping out the day's work in his head.
"Reno," he said as he walked past the red-heads sloppy, coffee – stained desk. "If you go out for lunch today, please bring me back noodles and scrimp. And some of that schezuan –chocobo, the spicy one." He tossed over some gils, which Reno neatly caught.
"Sorry boss, I'm going for burgers today." Reno weighted on the chair and grinned, making no attempt to return the money.
Tseng stopped and frowned down on him, not the least affected by the huge innocent – looking eyes.
"Let me rephrase that." He said darkly. "*When* you go out for lunch today, you *will* bring me back what I ordered."
"Ah, boss!" Reno whined, but Tseng was already seated by his own desk, shuffling through the papers. "I've been to that Wutai-restaurant all week! I'm fucking tired of noodles! And," his eyes narrowed, showing the slyness that made him such a good Turk, "it's not good, developing habits like that."
"You are right." Tseng sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Choose another wutai restaurant today. But get me that chockobo."
"Aw, what's wrong, boss?" Unbidden, Reno sat down on the edge of the desk. "Trouble at home?"
"None of your concern, Reno." Tseng tried to dislodge papers from under the red-head to no avail.
"C'mon, you can tell me! I'm your second in command, yo, your trustee." Reno batted his eyes.
"Apparently, I need to get more friends."Tseng scowled.
"You don't have friends, boss, you're a Turk." Reno shrugged bluntly. "You've been throwing your lunch away for two weeks, ever since…" A light lit in Reno's eyes as understanding dawned. "Ever since you and Reeve moved in together!" Reno smirked. "Lemme guess – the man can't cook?"
"My, you are fast." Tseng glowered at him. "Have you ever considered being a spy?"
"So he *can't* cook?" Smiling wickedly, Reno kept up his trail. "Tell me, you know you can trust me."
That was true – sort of, Tseng considered. Reno would never spread any kind of information outside the Turks, not even under torture. No Turk would. But inside the Turks, they gossiped like old ladies at a tea party. Still, what damage could it do?
"Fine," he gave up. "Reeve can't cook. If the stove broke down, he'd probably be able to fix it, and turn it into a walking, talking robot at the same time. But actually using it…he burns noodles. How do you even do that? You just throw them in boiling water!"
"Well, p'rsonally I don't know what you see in that guy anyway." Reno smiled nastily. "He's just dull."
Tseng's eyes narrowed.
"Reeve is a kind, gentle, caring man who might be too good for this world. And it's…nice… to spend time with someone who's neither a psycho nor a bundle of neuroses. He has no world domination plans. He doesn't blow things up. He's never been seen wearing women's clothing. He doesn't perform experiments on humans. He's just…normal. And those kinds of people are not easy to find around here, you know."
It was Reno's turn to stare.
"Boss," he said carefully, "the man talks to dolls."
"At least the dolls answer him." Tseng pushed Reno of his desk. "That counts as normal around here."