Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. All credits should go to him.

SILENCE
by reiAlethea

Red and yellow clashed against blue and black, and the sun seemed to accept its defeat as it slowly sank below the towering buildings. The monstrous towers glowed fiercely and I couldn't help but squint a little. I had no watch, but I knew that I was going to be late. I jumped quickly from building to building, hoping no one would notice, and after a few seconds I found myself on top of Shinkara, one of the tallest buildings in Ningenkai. The chilly breeze kissed my face and I shivered. This felt so familiar. Awfully familiar. As I shielded my eyes with my small, callused right hand, I felt silence slowly creeping up to me like a phantom.

It was deafening, heavy…lonely…just like my life.

I hated to think about my life. I hated to think about my life because all I saw was sorrow. I might look like some cold-hearted individual, incapable of showing emotions. But the reality was, I tried to look cold on the outside because I didn't want them to see my vulnerability. I didn't want them to see me asking for help.

Why?

Because I didn't know what they would do if they find out.

I grew up knowing no love, experiencing no security, traveling without a guide. I lived my life in confinement and solitude. All my life I was alone, and because of the rare contacts I had with others I became clueless of demons' reactions.

I knew no one would be surprised by the outcome. They knew what happened to me…that I was left to die when I was still young. But during those times when I needed help, no one came. I called out but all they did was stare.

And suddenly I became afraid…and I didn't know why.

I still remembered her eyes clearly…the one who threw me away. She didn't want to let go. But the elderly insisted.

'Having fraternal twins is against tradition!'

'Throw that Forbidden Child now!'

'We can't do anything. If we keep him, this placed will be doomed.'

'There is no room for mercy, Rui. Let him go.'

Next moment I was already falling…

I trusted her. I trusted her with my life. I thought she wouldn't let me go because I saw in her eyes that she didn't want to abandon me. I saw mercy. I saw sorrow. I thought she would do something to save me but…she yielded.

I couldn't blame her for what happened. I knew she had to. But I blamed her for playing with my emotions. I trusted her because I saw hope, but she just crushed it. Because of her I never trusted anyone again. If she had not shown mercy in the first place, I would not have lost my trust.

Things suddenly became clear to me. I didn't want them to see my vulnerability because maybe I know they wouldn't be able to help me. I didn't want to call for help because all this time I knew they didn't know how to save me. I masked myself as a cold, heartless individual because I know they wouldn't understand me either if I revealed my true self. They didn't know because they had not been where I'd been. They had no clue because they didn't know how it felt like to be so alone. And I knew this situation would never change.

I felt the chilly breeze touch my face again. I opened my eyes and squinted again, not because of the light, but because of the darkness. I realized that now the sun had completely set and stars began to show their face.

I suddenly saw a figure emerging from the shadows. Long red hair. Green eyes. Tall, slender physique.

"You're early, as usual."

Kurama.

I snorted. "And you're late, as usual."

Maybe there's still hope for this situation to change…maybe there's still hope for me…

A/N: By the way, this was written years ago (July 27, 2003 to be exact) and was the first fic I have ever written and posted here on FFnet. For this version, minor grammar edits have been made.

Hope you like it. Spread the love!

-rei