Disclaimer: You've heard it a thousand different times. I don't own it!
This may or may not stay a one-shot. Depends on if I feel like writing more on it. *evil grin*
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Shishiwakamaru was not cut out for babysitting. Quite the opposite, in fact. For a man who lived by his sword, children were more of a nuisance than a gift. Perhaps this was the reason why he now tried to bury himself in a book and ignore the tugging on his sleeve.
"Uncle Shishi?"
The samurai growled. Why me of all people?
"What?" he asked rather harshly. The little boy lowered his big blue eyes and stuck a finger in his mouth. Shishiwakamaru had specifically said not to bother him, but this was kind of important…
"Touya 'n Hiei is fightin'," the boy answered, his accent slurring his words a bit. Shishi's eyes narrowed, and he growled again.
"Again?"
"Uh huh."
"Fabulous. Go find Suzuka and tell him."
"Uncle Suzuka said to find you, though."
I will kill you for this, Suzuka, the blue-haired man silently promised.
"Alright, let's go, Jin."
The chibi Wind Master led him out to the back yard of the temple, where evidence of an epic, yet small, battle was either on fire or frozen over in a thick layer of ice. The two troublemakers were nowhere to be seen.
"Where are they?"
Jin frowned, and looked around.
"'Dey's were just here! I promise!"
Shishiwakamaru scanned the area with his trained samurai's eyes, and growled low in the back of his throat when he spotted two ice blue eyes watching them from behind a thick cluster of frozen trees. The eyes suddenly disappeared when he realized he had been seen, but Shishi was already making his way to the trees, stepping around small fires and frozen puddles.
"TOUYA!"
"I didn't do it! I swear, Uncle Shishi!" Touya pleaded, having been found and picked up by the back of his shirt. Shishi gave the child a hard glare. Touya gulped. "Hiei made me do it! He started it!"
"Oh shut up already. Where's Hiei?"
Touya didn't answer. Shishi was about ready to blow.
"I said where is he."
"But…you told me to shut up…"
ARGH!
"Forget it! Where is Hiei?"
The short Ice Master silently pointed to his left, and Shishiwakamaru dropped the boy and pointed up to the temple.
"Inside."
"But, Uncle Shishi…"
"INSIDE!"
Touya made a small 'eep' sound and dashed up to the porch and inside before the samurai could blink. Jin frowned and followed him inside, leaving Shishi to find Hiei himself.
"Koenma will die for this," he muttered, turning and heading for the thicket Touya had directed him to.
~~Flash to two days before~~
"And maybe children weren't cut out for ruling Renkai!"
Suzuka winced at that, and knew Shishiwakamaru had more than likely said his last. Koenma's eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms with a 'humph'.
"You have something against children, Shishi?" he asked grouchily. The samurai rolled his violet eyes.
"Children are annoying little monsters that have no business being bothering me."
"Do I bother you?" Koenma snorted and stood up on his desk to face Shishi eye-to-eye. "What do you think would happen if you were suddenly stuck babysitting a bunch of five year olds? Five year olds that you couldn't kill because they could easily kill you? Hm? What then?"
Shishiwakamaru sneered.
"Is that a threat?"
Koenma smirked.
"Damn right that's a threat." The little brat snapped his fingers, and a bottle appeared on his desk. A rather odd bottle in the shape of a baby bottle, as a matter of fact. Koenma pulled out an old fashioned quill and screwed the cap (which was shaped like a bottle nipple) off, and dipped the tip of the quill into the strange white ink. (Supposedly the 'milk')
"Suzuka, will you please escort him," Koenma pointed at Shishi, "out of here and back to the temple?"
Suzuka had to bite back a chuckle, knowing damn well what that bottle was. He, in fact, had come across one exactly like it before many years ago.
"Sure thing, Koenma. C'mon, Hot Head." He grabbed Shishi's arm and dragged him out of Koenma's office leaving the pint-sized prince to do his evil deed for the day.
Koenma pulled out a piece of paper, thought for a second, and grinned. He then began to write several names with the quill and white ink, laughing at the surprise that the samurai was going to get once they got back to the temple.
~~Back to present day~~
Suzuka suppressed a laugh when Touya came scurrying into the kitchen, scared out of his wits and clinging to the former clown as if he was going to die. The kid was positively shaking. Jin came in behind him, worried about his friend.
"I take it that Uncle Shishi broke up your fight?" he asked gently. Touya nodded, and Jin scowled.
"Uncle Shishi's a meanie," the red head replied. "He yelled at 'im."
"I'm not surprised. Blast him with some ice next time."
Touya looked up, surprised but brightened.
"Really? I can do that?"
Suzuka laughed and nodded.
"Now peel yourself away from my leg and go watch cartoons, you two. And don't fight over the remote."
"Okay!"
"K!"
The two chibi masters grinned and took off for the T.V., racing for the remote. Suzuka shook his head, amazed.
"One would think that they have always been five years old," he wondered.
Shishiwakamaru came back in an hour later with some of his hair charred, clothes rather crispy, and a very sour look on his face. He had Hiei in tow, who held an equally sour look.
"Go on. AND DON'T BURN ANYTHING!"
Hiei gave him a death glare and shook his arm free from Shishi's hard grip. He stuck his tongue out at him and disappeared, heading in the same direction the Shinobis had headed.
"Don't worry, Shishi. It's only for a bit longer," Suzuka said with a hidden grin.
Shishiwakamaru ignored it.
"Where are the other two brats?"
"Jin and Touya? Watching T.V. Kurama showed up earlier so he should be able to keep Hiei and Touya from killing each other for a while."
"Good."
"He had to bring Kuwabara and Yuuske with him, though."
"Damnit." Shishi sighed, and dropped down into a chair opposite Suzuka's. "Remind me never to piss Koenma off again."
Suzuka smirked.
"You got it, Uncle Shishi."
"And remind me to kill you later."
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Yuuske scowled and grabbed the remote out of Kuwabara's hands, who in turn grabbed it back. "I wanna watch that!"
"Hey!"
"Mine!"
"Gimmie it back!"
"It's mine!"
"No, mine!"
"Stop it, you two," Kurama warned.
"He started it!" they shouted in unison, both pointing at the other. Kurama sighed, wishing he knew exactly what Shishiwakamaru had done to bring this kind of torture upon the remaining adults. He held his hand out to Kuwabara with a very parental frown.
"Let me have it, Kuwabara."
Kuwabara scowled and clutched the precious remote to his chest, pouting.
"I want it."
"If you and Yuuske cannot share the remote, then you can't have it at all."
"Uncle Kuuuuurammaaaa…" Yuuske whined, tearing up. "Pllleeeeasssssseeeee can I have it back?" Oh good grief.
"Yuuske…"
"HEY! GIMMIE THAT!" Hiei apparently had gotten sick of the argument and had jumped down from his spot on the couch next to Kurama, grabbed the device from Kuwabara, and promptly destroyed it by melting it.
Kuwabara, as if on cue, promptly starting bawling and Yuuske starting yelling at Hiei. The bawling and shouting woke Touya up from his nap, who in turn, upon seeing the melted goo that once was the remote, got mad at Hiei for melting it. Jin, who had been perched on the back of the couch, made a mad dash to tackle Touya before the ice master had a chance to tackle Hiei, and thus get himself in trouble with Shishi again.
And poor Kurama was in the middle of it all, desperately trying to calm the five kids down before something else got destroyed.
Suzuka and Shishiwakamaru, upon hearing the series of loud shouts and crashes, ran into the living room to see what had happened this time. What they saw was simply, and utterly, chaos.
Somehow, Touya had managed to wrench himself away from Jin's strong hold and dived after Hiei, who smirked and disappeared every time Touya had tried freezing him in place. The room was almost completely frozen over before Jin finally managed to stop him. Kuwabara was still howling at the top of his lungs, and Yuuske was on the verge of joining Touya's idea in beating the menacing fire demon up, from the look on his face. Kurama was trying to catch Hiei before he could light anything on fire, proving to be a difficult task.
Suzuka exchanged glances with Shishi and ventured into the chaos with fingers crossed, and praying that they would survive.
"Well, aside from the room being half melted and the feathers floating in the air, I'd say that was a successful fight break up," Suzuka said with a grin a few minutes later. He had Yuuske and Jin by their collars, refusing to let go. Shishiwakamaru once again had Touya suspended a few feet from the ground, with Kuwabara gripped firmly by the arm. Hiei kept shooting death glares at Touya from Kurama's arm-lock, and Touya promptly returned them by sticking his tongue out at him. Hiei scowled and pouted, small white feathers sticking out from the black of his hair.
After deciding that it would be more fun to try and shut Kuwabara up by throwing a pillow at him, Yuuske had gotten the idea to throw all the pillows at everybody. Needless to say, several feather pillows had fallen victim to the boys' rough housing. The room now had a fluffy dusting of goose feathers all over.
"I think it depends on your definition of 'successful', Suzuka," Kurama replied. Hiei once again tried slipping out of his hold, but the fox only tightened his grip on the little fire demon. A drop of water splattered onto his head.
"Uncle Suzuka?" Yuuske whined, looking up at the blond with big pleading eyes. "I'm hungry."
Shishiwakamaru groaned when the other four voiced their hunger pains as well. Great. Just great.
Dinnertime went surprisingly well, considering that Hiei had only managed to light one fire through the whole thing. Suzuka volunteered to keep an eye on the five boys while Kurama and Shishi tried to clean up the mess in the living room. And try they did. A valiant effort, actually. Explaining the water stains were Touya's ice patches melted would be rather hard, and the numerous missing pillows as well. There were a few broken pieces of furniture, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. It was a wonder in itself that the room was as undamaged as it was, water spots aside.
"What did you do to deserve Koenma's wrath?" Kurama asked of the samurai. Shishi growled.
"Invoked it, obviously."
"I would certainly say so, Shishiwakamaru."
"Speak of the devil."
Koenma appeared beside the now-battered couch with his hands clasped behind his back and a superior smile plastered on his face.
"Ready to be relieved of your babysitting duties yet?"
"Does the room look like a tornado went through it?" (Jin had actually tried to use his Tornado Fist on Yuuske for punching him.)
"I take it that's a yes. Now, before I release you, say that you're sorry and everything will go back to normal." Koenma was liking this entirely too much, Kurama noted with a small smile. Shishiwakamaru sighed, and muttered something. "What was that? Couldn't quite hear you."
"I said I'm sorry. Happy?"
Koenma gave him a considering look.
"Hm…did you really mean that?"
Shishi's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Koenma, sir, I'm sorry for calling all children little monsters," he growled. "May I please be released from this torture now?"
"Wwweeeelllllll…"
"I think it would be advisable if you do release him, Koenma. The temple may not stand up to any more of the boys' antics," Kurama said. "Hiei alone as done damage beyond repair. I hate to think of what would happen if he and Touya start at each other again."
Koenma sighed, his fun ruined.
"Oh all right." He pulled out a rolled up piece of paper and unfurled it. Shishi noticed five names written on it, all in that blasted white ink, which showed up surprisingly well once it dried. Koenma took one last look at the names, sighed again, and proceeded to rip the paper to shreds.
"They'll be back to normal tomorrow morning then. The spell's been broken so if they don't turn back, don't blame me."
Koenma then vanished.
"What did he mean by that?" Kurama wondered.
"I don't want to know," Shishi replied. "And I don't care to know. All I want right now is for tomorrow to get here ASAP."
And then, a shout rang from the kitchen and Hiei came sprinting out, followed by a very angry Kuwabara, with Yuuske right on his heels. Jin and Touya were laughing too hard to follow, and they slumped down to the floor clutching their sides when Kuwabara tripped over the edge of a rug and went flying.
"And tomorrow can't come soon enough," the samurai said, sighing. He then muttered something about bratty little troublemakers, and went back to sweeping up feathers.
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Ah, yet another idea that got stuck in my head and refused to disappear. ^_^ Drop a review please!