To ask for a Devil's sympathy
Summary: "Sebastian, please spare my life. Just for another year..." He was silent for a moment, and said, "And why should I do that Young Master?"
Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji belongs to Yana Toboso
I am about to die.
I am about to die and yet, I feel neither sad nor fear. I'm not completely happy either, no...
I feel nothing - tranquil as undisturbed water striders by the creek. Why am I not enthralled that all this madness has come to an end? Now I have to pay for it, with my soul.
My loyal servant of the Phantomhive manor carries me towards the heart of this hidden isle. I simply curl up in his arms like a newborn. Sebastian has been an exceptional butler. One can only dream of having half of his capability to solve all tasks. Tch, Demon... Ironic. I celebrate my successful revenge with death, as if fate itself mocks me. Such a beautiful paradox; one is supposed to feel more alive after vengeance, and yet here I am at life's final breath, by my servant and executioner. We arrived at a forest clearing, the only area that the pale moon smiles upon. This place was once a fort I presume; the remains of it are only broken columns and one stone bench.
"Bocchan we're here"
My deathbed to be precise. Sebastian gently put me down the cold bench. He pulled off his white glove with his teeth, revealing the symbol of our damned contract. Funny, one would never guess the filth concealed with that snow white gloves - gloves that had cleaned my manor, and the filthy people in my life. Yet behind those gloves, is the filthiest being alive. Nothing is filthier than a demon. But no… humans are even filthier. Born as blank slates, yet stained so easily. They are liars, cheaters, self-spoiling and murderers. They bloom as the most beautiful roses and the thorniest. The sharper the thorn, the more beautiful they are. Like me - and the one in front of me, has the largest petal of all roses, so large one cannot see the thorns beneath, living an eternal life just to eat corrupted souls. How pitiful is that? And now he's about to eat mine. I asked my butler, "What will... happen to my soul Sebastian?"
He answered, "It will not be able to cross over, and it will stay in my stomach. Unless I'm killed that is..."
"Will it hurt?" I asked, curious.
"I'll make it as painless as possible, Young Master"
Look at him, trying to keep his butler image when he knows I am about to die. How disgusting. Behind his curtsey is a laughing devil, laughing at the defeated king and at his rusting crown. But why do I feel that this Demon was...human? Like a father-my father? Sometimes, for a split second, he bears the image of Vincent Phantomhive. He would soothe me with warm milk after a nightmare, even... cared enough to stay by my side on sleepless nights. Or is this just a childish dream? A mere 12 year-old's illusion of his ideal world? What did I want from him? To be my pawn, a mere chess piece to clean the vermin of England and the people who reduced the Phantomhives to a humiliating subject? Have I grown attached to this Demon? When he left me in that boat alone, I never thought I'd felt a gnawing ache in my chest. I'd never thought I was capable of yearning for that demon. I finally said, "No, make it as painful as you can. Carve the pain into my soul."
I can see surprise lit in those crimson eyes. But there was something else other than mere surprise. Pity? Confusion? Sebastian bowed on one knee and said his final statement as my butler, "Yes, my lord"
I stared into Sebastian's eyes as he sauntered forwards to devour me. Memories of my past played endlessly in my head. No... Why now? Why must the sweet memories come flooding my brain as I'm about to die? Tanaka, Bard, Maylene, Finny, are you guys safe? Did you all escape the fire? What about you Soma? Agni? Are you all going to mourn for me? Elizabeth, I'm so sorry to have been a bad fiance. I couldn't provide anything for you. I hope you find a better suitor that is more than I am. You don't deserve someone who puts his faith into a demon... You're so pure; I don't want to corrupt your innocence.
"I'm so sorry Ciel, I didn't kn-know how important that ring is..."
Elizabeth broke down in tears, crying like a child.
Ciel stared at the shards of the broken sapphire ring in his hands and closed his fingers around it. Then he tossed it out of the window. There were gasps around the room. Ciel sighed and said, "It's just an old ring I don't need it anymore."
He struck his cane on the ground and said boldly, "I am the head of the Phantomhive manor!"
He approached his weeping fiancee, held up her chin and said, "It's not ladylike to put such sour look." Ciel put on his best smile and offered his hand, "would you like to dance with me Lady Elizabeth?"
The blonde girl wiped her tears and smiled broadly, "Of course Ciel!"...
"Now then, Bocchan..."
I got so carried away by the river of my memories; I did not realize my butler's face is so close to mine. His eyes glows red, its a shade of red I had never seen before, as if I were staring into the eyes of a famished werewolf. The pitch black pupils contracted inwards, as if it were two black holes. I felt my heart slightly jump. What was that? Fear? How silly of me... Feeling fear at this time. I had given up living haven't I? I am prepared for this 4 years ago! I knew it was going to end. Yet, what is this feeling? Why is my heart pounding louder than it should be? A chill crept down my spine as Sebastian traced his fingers on my right cheek, then his fingeres travelled up to my eyepatch and untied it, revealing this cursed eye of mine.
I shut my eyes tight, wanting this to be over quickly. Can he feel my tremor? What would he think? Let it go Ciel! You are about to die! The harder I thought to myself, the more I panicked. Why? Did I still, desire for life? To have a heart beat and blood running in my veins? I realized, I'm not ready for death and I have underestimated it. I opened my eyes and saw a glimpse of Sebastian's sly smile, which grew into a sadistic smile, bearing fangs. Instinctively my body jolted as if struck by an electric current, telling my two little feel to run. I obeyed. I could've sworn I heard snapping teeth as my hair barely escaped his fangs. I ran towards the edge of the forest clearing as fast as my frail feet could carry me. I entered the forest and continued running deeper into the thickness of this odd place filled with sorrowful trees. I stopped running and surrendered my back on one of the trees. How pitiful of me, beaten by my own pride and arrogance. I had underestimated death too much...too much. The thought was so amusing I chuckled. It was a bitter and sardonic laugh, which grew into uncontrollable sobs. I broke down, my shoulders shaking and my knees collapsed to the earth. It hurt so much; I wrapped my own arms around myself to stop the shaking. Tears streamed down my face, unstoppable. The next memory that flooded my mind was of my parents. Father, Mother... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! Why didn't I die with you? I would have still believed the existence of God. Is there such thing as heaven? The place every person deemed to be paradise? Is it just a fairytale? I want to... Be there with you. But now that dream has vanished, abandoned in some corner of looming darkness. That dream is now just a gleam in the distance, far away from my reach, and it gets smaller as I look upon my reality, the reality that my soul belongs to a demon. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have...
"Bocchan..."
I jumped at the alluring voice of my Butler, but I didn't see him anywhere. I stood frozen with fear and felt ridiculous. I fear my own butler? He's just doing what the contract had compelled us to do right?
"Ciel Phantomhive..."
This time the voice sounded horrifyingly similar as the voice of the demon I encountered for the very first time. My legs are bound to the ground, like useless blocks. Part of me wanted to flee, part of me wanted to surrender to that call. I winced as I felt arms coil around my waist and collarbone. I swallowed. The demon is behind me. Like a master to his cat, the demon caressed my hair with languid strokes, and whispered quietly, "Ciel, is something the matter?" His voice was theatrically concerned. How well rehearsed, well executed, and yet so sickly sweet and lulling. But that velvet voice turned malicious, He traced a sharp claw under my neck and said, "Don't you recall our promise 4 years ago?"
Yes I do, I was prepared to die, but I said to him, "Sebastian...I... Do recall b-but...say, can we delay my death?"
Sebastian lapsed into a brief moment of silence. I shut my eyes and waited for his response. I hated him for toying with my feelings. I knew he purposefully did that to brew a storm of emotion in me, to spice up his dinner. I'm not your puppet! Hurry and answer me! I felt his cold mouth touching my left ear, and he whispered, "Ah... And why should I do that young master?"
Why should he indeed? We've reached the end of our contract. But for it to end this quickly, it feels like a blink. He has been with me for four years, and did every order to the highest perfection. I said to him, "Say... Just let me live for... Another year... You can serve me once again...as my butler...just... Another year, this is... too sudden." I tried to convince him. This isn't an order... It's a request. I said again," You've assisted me all these years, say; just another year wouldn't hurt right? I've never had a normal childhood since… that day"
Silence.
"I'm quite starving. It's been four years since I've eaten any soul. And now when I have the chance, you won't let me."
His words were cold and selfish. Who am I kidding? He's a demon. What am I surprised about? I turned around to face Sebastian. His face was devoid of emotion. I don't know why but I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I know I'm a selfish master... But would you spare me one more year?" I implored. Then he said in a high pitch voice, almost mocking,"Do you honestly think that I did those things for you, because I had developed some care for you?"
His words stung and I knew he noticed it, because his smile widened, and he said, "You are merely a special meal I have obtained. Have you forgotten that I am a demon? I only obeyed your orders, for the sake of obeying them; I never meant to do them sincerely."
He was silent for a moment and said, "Even when those orders made me cringe, Master, I kept my eyes on the prize."
He pushed me gently away from him and said, "Now you expect me to play puppet just to satisfy your preparation for death?"
I stared at Sebastian out of disbelief. He only smiled at me mechanically with steely eyes. Then I felt warm liquid running down my stomach, what was that... My eyes travelled downwards... Sebastian's hand in my...chest? That is...
"How naïve..."
The moment those words were uttered, searing pain shot up my chest. I coughed blood. Blood! There was blood everywhere! Just like that time on the altar! Red scarlet liquid gushed down from my punctured chest to my legs. I couldn't move, my lungs stopped functioning and my voice was trapped inside my throat, I wanted to scream, but no one would hear me. "S-seb...ast...ian" I stuttered desperately. My small fingers coiled feebly onto his arm. I could barely feel my limbs and my head felt light. That bastard! Stop smiling at me! You demon!
I gasped as he suddenly he yanked me closer to him. He had driven his clawed hands deeper into my chest, but my body is too weak to register anymore pain. I only feel coldness, coldness that enveloped me like a winter's cruel embrace. My vision flickered and my eyelids started to feel like a pair of lead. Is this... death? That demon stroked my cheek, toying with his food, crushing my soul. He lifted me up as if I was a lifeless doll. Huge black wings sprouted from his back and formed a cage around us. The gleam in the distance has faded; beyond any hope of reach. We are alone in the darkness, only the demon and I face to face. Cold sapphire eyes met with burning scarlet eyes. He leaned his head forward and placed his lips on my neck. I could feel his breath on my skin as I felt him parting his lips to say,
"It was my pleasure to serve you Young Master,"
The last thing I felt, was pain ripping through my neck.
Wrote this because, a lot of fanfics have humanized Sebastian. Just want to depict him as a cruel, cunning, sly demon, devoid of any emotion, incapable of loyalty. This was highly experimental.