Okay, so you guys may not know, but I'm a HUGE Sophia fan. I'm also even bigger Chophia fan. I think these two were by far one of the best couples in Hollywood. And I'm not being biased. I've been reading a few fics on here and I really wanted to make my own, I have posted this on OTHforums and it had great reviews, I stopped posting it there and decided to post it her. I already have the first 5 chapters made and sorry this one is so short. But I will tweak them depending on what you guys wants to see. So please read it and let me know what yall think. Soooo yeah, sorry if it sucks. I promise it will get betterrrr! Please comment3
The title for this Fic can from the lovely song Ashes & Wine, By A fine frenzy. This song is truly made for them.
Sophia heard a soft knock on her trailer door and looked up to see Bevin poking her head in.
"Hey Bev." Sophia whispered, forcing a fake smile.
"How are you?" Bevin smiled back. She knew that Sophia wasn't well.
"I'm ok... just reading some lines." Sophia looked back down at the paper. She couldn't look at Bevin, if she did she would burst into tears and she couldn't do that now, not here.
"Soph, I won't push you to talk about it if you don't want to... but just know I'm here. Alright?" Bevin continued as she took one last look around the trailer, not failing to notice the small picture of Sophia and Chad slanted against a mirror.
Sophia didn't say anything. She didn't have anything to say. Three days ago she found out that her husband cheated on her, not once but multiple times. She didn't believe it at first and she still tried not to believe it even after he admitted to it. She couldn't believe that the man she was so madly in love with could hurt her like this.
She didn't look back up until Bevin walked out of the trailer and with that Sophia let her emotions take over and she sat in front of the mirror for what seemed like hours crying. She cried because she was scared of what would happen next. She cried because he could hurt her like this. She cried because she wasn't enough for him. She cried because she wanted to know why he did it. She cried because he wasn't the man she thought he was. She cried because she didn't know what else to do.
Sophia was sitting at the crew table along with Hilarie and Bevin when she saw Chad's car pull up. Hilarie and Bevin both exchanged anxious looks and turned back to Sophia.
"Have you guys talked at all?" Hilarie questioned as she kept an eye on Chad.
"No." Sophia slowly shook her head.
"Maybe it would help if you guys did?" Bevin chirped in giving Sophia a confident smile.
"There's nothing to talk about Bev..." Sophia sighed running her fingers through her hair and resting her forehead on them. She was trying to hide her face from him. Maybe if he didn't notice she was here then he wouldn't come over. Hilarie noticed what Sophia was doing and she couldn't help her eyes begin to water. Because she couldn't stand to see her friend like this. She quickly wiped it away and tried to think for words she could say to her.
"I talked to him yesterday." Sophia didn't look up at Hilarie. So Hilarie found it safe to continue. "He feels like crap Soph, actually crap isn't even enough. I've never ever seen him like this and you know I've known him for a while." Hilarie continued, not sure if anything she was saying would even change anything.
"That doesn't really matter though does it?" Sophia finally looked up, her eyes blood shot and red.
Hilarie didn't say anything back.
"I'm sorry Hil. I know you're trying to help... I just... I can't deal with this right now." With that Sophia began getting up and quickly walked back to her trailer. Once she was inside she tried to keep her composure. She couldn't cry. She was sick of crying.
Sophia looked around the trailer and began to walk towards the small couch in the middle of it. She sat down and pulled her knees close to her chest, resting her chin on them. She closed her eyes and tried to think of something else, but her mind kept coming back to him. So she fliped her phone open and stared at her wallpaper. A picture of her one eyed pit bull, Patch. She stared at it until the picture became blurry and she felt the tears run down her face.
"Soph?" She quickly looked up to see her trailer door slowly opening. She knows that voice. It's his voice. She makes a frantic attempt to wipe some of the tears off and sits up straight on the couch pretending she's looking at a very important text message. "Hey." He whispered as he slowly closed the door behind him. He doesn't move any closer to her because he wants to respect her space. He's not even sure if being in here is the right thing to do, but he just had to see her. He loves her so much and it kills him every time he looks at her and sees how broken she is. She finally looks up at him and for the first time in days he's looking into her eyes. And what he sees in those eyes has the power to make his heart physically hurt. He's the one to blame for causing that and he wants to hug her and make her feel better. He just doesn't know how.
She doesn't say anything back to him she just simply stares at him. She won't say anything because she has nothing to say. So she sits there very motionless waiting for him to speak. Because she wants him to.
"I uh..." She watches his face contort as he tries to think of what to say to her. She knows he wont say anything, so she slowly shakes her head and begins to get up.
"There's nothing to say Chad." She isn't showing any emotion as she speaks to him and he is trying to read her, but lately he doesn't understand what any of her signals mean, mainly because she has never acted like this.
"There has to be something," He begins to walk behind her. "I told you I'm sorry Soph, I know you know that I love you more then I could and will ever love anyone," He gently grabs the back of her arm and turns her around. "I don't know what else to say." He whispered with a melancholy smile on his face. He doesn't know why he ever did any of those things. How he ever slept with all of those girls. He almost wishes that they never would have gotten married, because that way she wouldn't be hurt right now. He feels like a dumb ass for rushing things, he guesses it was because after cheating on Sophia with Paris he felt almost compelled to marry her. It wasn't because he was afraid that Sophia would somehow find out and the only thing he could do to make sure that Sophia was with him was to marry her. But because after sleeping with Paris, he realised how no one else could ever make him feel the way Sophia did. She was not only the most beautiful woman he ever met, but she was also the most brilliant woman he would ever meet. He needed her, and he loved her.
"Chad, I know you love me. I've never once doubted your love for me. But what you did," She looked down at the ground trying to think of the best words. "How could you do that to me? Where you ever going to tell me? Just help me understand why you did it." She was now looking up at him with pleading eyes.
"I don't know why I did it." He knows that's not the answer she wanted to hear, but he truthfully didn't know why he did it. She let out a small scuff and looked up trying to hold back the tears.
"Well, I guess there's nothing else to say." He didn't say anything back.
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
"Yeah, me too."
"Do you think we will-" She was now shaking her head back and fourths and had placed her hand on his lips.
"Chad, I can't deal with this right now. Please understand, just do this one thing for me and don't put yourself first for once." She was speaking bitterly now and she didn't care if she was hurting him. Because part of her wanted him to feel some pain.
It had been two days since their previous conversation and Sophia was on her computer reading through her emails. Chad was coming over in a few hours to get the rest of his stuff, they both decided after endless fights and tears that it would be best if he move out. Tyler, a close and dear friend of both of them was having Chad stay with him until they sorted everything down. Sophia was dreading having him come back to their home, specially because he wasn't going to be staying. She wanted so badly to forgive him, to just be with him again. It hurt too much not being with him. He was everything to her. She couldn't remember how to function without him, so she resorted to spending most of her time alone.
She slowly closed her laptop when she heard the front door open and close. She wasn't sure if she should just stay in the room or if she should go out and make sure he found everything ok, but knowing him she knew he wouldn't. So she pulled her baggy cardigan close to her and crossed her arms around her chest. She stood, resting against the hallway entrance as she watched him put all the boxes together.
"I put all your CDs in the little one... I kept them in order." She instructed as she watched him look in the box.
"Thanks." He smiled up at her. She looked cold, and it felt cold in the house. He wanted more then anything to wrap her in his arms and make her feel warm. Like he used to. Her hair was pinned up in a messy bun and she wasn't wearing any makeup, he couldn't remember a day where she looked more beautiful. Cold days like these were normally spent together watching the Discovery Channel or snuggling in bed while they went over the new script together. But not now. Things had changed so fast for both of them.
When he was finally done putting all the boxes into his truck he lingered for a few minutes. Pretending he was looking for something, but all he was doing was trying to think of what to say to her. "I miss you Soph." He felt childish for not having something better to say, but he didn't care. He missed her more than words could explain and he so badly wanted to be with her.
"I miss you too." She whispered.
"Then why can't we just make this work?"
"Because, I can't just pretend that nothing happened."
"Don't pretend, we can work past this Soph. We can go to counseling... I won't go out at night. You can always call me. I... I'll never screw up again." He was pacing back and fourths trying to think of something else to say, anything.
She shut her eyes tight and tried to not listen to what he was saying. She could feel how hurt he was, she could. Sophia could feel a lump forming in her throat and her mouth felt dry. "But that's just it. I can't live constantly wondering where you are, what you're doing. I can't. I need to be able to trust you Chad. I can't live wondering if I'm good enough. Comparing myself to every girl. Because that's not fair to me, and it's not fair to you. You need someone that wont question you, or wont second guess herself when she kisses you." Her face felt hot and she was once again crying.
"I know that I'm not the man you deserve, but I can promise you that no one will ever love you as much as I love you. I'm crazy about you Sophia. I know I messeded up and nothing I say will ever be enough, but just know that if you gave me another chance I'll never hurt you again." He couldn't remember the last time he cried but he was sure that if she rejected him again he was going to. "I know you want something like what your mom and dad have, and I'm sorry for making you feel like we don't have that. But Soph we do." He feels sick for ever letting her feel like he didn't love her and that the love they had wasn't as good as the love her parents had, but five months ago he made a promise that he would never hurt her and always love her. And from the look of it he hasn't been doing a very good job.