Author's Note: I don't own anything. I just had to write this down. It's probably a little out of character. Sorry about that. You may be hinted by a few dirty ideas in this. So beware of a little strong language, and stuff.
Sasuke's Answering Machine
o.O.O.o.o.O.O.o
Sasuke's Message:
Hello this is Sasuke. If you are Naruto, leave me the Hell alone. If you are Kakashi, how did you reach this number? If you are Sakura, stop asking me out. If you are Orochimaru, you damn pedophile need to leave me alone! Molest someone else! If you are Itachi, I think I killed you so leave me alone. Stop haunting my dreams! If you are a fangirl, this is Joe, Joe who lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere. If you are a hater you may leave a decent message. I won't kill you. Thank you very much. (Beep)
Message 1:
(Fangirl) Sasuke, I love you! I want to have your babies! (beep)
Message 2:
(Ino) Sasuke! I love you! I miss you! Call me, sweety! I'll be waiting for our sweet talk! (beep)
Message 3:
(Sasuke Hater) Where is Itachi? As an Itachi fangirl, I want your ass dead! Look what you did to Itachi! I'm going to beat your ass! (beep)
Message 4:
(Orochimaru) I think I've found a way to have an Uchiha child. Sasuke I will need you..Bwahahaha...Please reply to this. This is not any horny old perverted man who wants your body. (beep)
Message 5:
(Naruto) I'm going to beat you, you better believe it! I know you hate that line so BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT!BELIEV...(beep)
Note to self: I must shove my foot up Naruto's ass. I mean that quite literally.
Message 6:
(Sakura) Sasuke I've been kidnapped by these people! Save me Sasuke! (beep)
Message 7:
(Mary Sue) Konichiwa Sasuke-kun! Will you like go out with me, koi? I have a kawaii teddy bear of you! I'll bring it out date! Aishiteru! Sayounara! (beep)
Note to self: Must kill Mary Sue! I need a bazooka!
Message 8:
(Rock Lee) I will win my maiden's heart! Sakura is my beloved. I have pledged my undying love to her. I will have her become my own. (beep)
Note to self: Hm...If he loves her so much why doesn't he go save her?
Message 9:
(Kakashi) Your mission today is to save Sakura. This wasn't one of her tricks. She really got kidnapped. (beep)
Note to self: And I should care why?
Message 10:
(Kakashi) Move it Sasuke. That's a command. (beep)
Note to self: Whatever loser.
Message 11:
(Itachi) Foolish little brother, you'll never kill me. Oh why the reason I called. Deidara is asking about his hairbrush did you steal it? (beep)
Note to self: Bastard. Must remember to put more explosives in his house. Hn..I didn't take Deidara's hairbrush.
Message 12:
(Mary Sue) Konichiwa, kawaii Sasuke-kun! It is me, Mary Sue again! I stole Deidara's hairbrush. Hee Hee! I use it to brush my kawaii kitsune. (beep)
Note to self: That evil woman! Stop the madness! I really need to get a bazooka!
o.O.O.o.o.O.O.o
Author's Note: Please read and review! I'll write chapter two soon if I gets reviews.