When did things go so wrong ? I thought everything was o.k. I thought we were o.k. I guess I was wrong... It was... Way to good to be true after all. I used to think this in my darkest moments; but the good in me kept telling myself that was how life is: not that crual after all. I was so, so wrong.
We were happy togheter. Really happy. As happy as a loving couple can be. We were just having fun, living hard, partying like there was no tomorrow, drinking until we couldn't walk. Yeah, it was fun. We used to laught until our stomach hurt. We used to make love in the most random place, fearing of getting caught, but enjoying every second of this fear.
My friends and my parents told me to stop, go back to them. To be the sweet little guy they always knew, but heck, I didn't. And now, it was my only fault.
I don't know when it all started. At first, I haven't really see this coming. I was just me, the guy I've always been. The goody two-shoes. The worrywart. I've been raised by my grand-parents, who loved me no matter what. I was the good guy... But she brought the worstof me. I broke hearts, and made sacrifices for her, but she really didn't made any for me. She had already lost everything. She had nothing but me and her stubborness.
Yeah, she. She as in Helga Geraldine Pataki. The love of my life.
I liked my life before we met. Well, I think I liked this. But it was so boring, I needed something new, and she was what I was so badly looking for.
I remember how we were. She was the wild party girl, and I was the repressed boy. I wanted to look away from her sins, but I ended up seeing life like her. Nothing was good. Not in her world, but it was also way more funny.
We smoked, we took drugs, we drank, we made love like animals... It was insane.
And at the end, I managed to bring the best of her... To make her look away from her loneliness, from her depress... So why did it went wrong ?
I couldn't protect her. Her body has been shattered so many times, I promised her to shield her from everything.
And I failed.
And now, as I lay on my tiny bed, I think of what would have been done to avoid this.
I guess nothing.
I still can remember my voice, weak and wet from the rain, asking her for a last song. I still can remember my eyes, blurry from the rain and tears. I still see her pale bloody body trying to reach for heat. Her smile, challenging and yet sweet answering to the tears I let fall down.
My friends and parents helped me after that. They were still here for me, even after everything I did. I deceived them, but they still loved me.
But without her, life is so annoying. I know she wouldn't want me to be like that, so I try to live my life at the fullest. For her.
Me, Arnold Shortman, love Helga G. Pataki with all my heart. No matter how mean, bad, crual she is.
It all started with a a broken soul...