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Disclaimer: I own nothing. Checking my wallet… Cool! A butterfly!
Author's Note: I think bringing a little fun into Kingkiller Chronicle is very necessary. And what is funnier than Facebook? =))
Chap 1
Kvothe the Bloodless: Hello everyone, I just got a Facebook account! Joy to the world!
(Simmon, Wilem and 6 others like this)
Demon Devi: Hi Kvothe. Ready to play some online game? *wink seductively*
Kvothe the Bloodless: *gulp*
Wilem: Get a room. =="
Demon Devi: But we're on Facebook. Is that fact too much for you to digest, Wil?
Wilem: So… get a wall =.=.
Kvothe the Bloodless: Hey people! Our favorite Rosey just sent me a friend request. Can it be a prank?
(Master Hemme likes this)
Simmon: I don't know, he can upload your nude pics and tag you with them? (12 people like this)
Kvothe the Bloodless: Bullshit. The only person that possibly has my pics is….
Demon Devi: Yessss?
Kvothe the Bloodless: *gulp* no one.
Demon Devi: So, why did you have Hemme as your friend?
Master Hemme: It's crucial for a student to add all the masters' Facebook account. Who are you to ask?
Demon Devi: I am the one that almost whipped your hairy *** when you charged me with Malfeasance! Lucky for you I was found not guilty on that.
Master Hemme is now Offline
Demon Devi: ….Coward.
Kvothe the Bloodless likes Anker's.
Anker's: Boy, I will tell you this one last time. GET OFF MY HOUSE'S INTERNET OR YOU'LL GO SLEEP WITH THE COW!
Kvothe the Bloodless was now Offline
iTunes: So everyone, to download the hit song "Jackass, Jackass" by Kvothe, all you have to do is sign up and click the "Download" button.
(16347 people likes this)
Eminem: Who the **** is Kvothe?
Westlife: He is a really hot teenager with cool hairstyle.
Eminem: Are you guys gay or something? (1111 people like this)
Westlife: …No, we're just stating the fact.
Kvothe the Bloodless likes Google.
Master Lorren: Welcome to the Online Archives, Re'lar Kvothe.
Kvothe the Bloodless: WOW! Awesome! More internet links than I've ever seen in my life! Thousands and thousands of it! *look around a while* Hey, what is this "Porn" site? OH TEHLU! IT BURNS MY EYES!
Simmon wrote on Master Lorren's Wall: He found "it" much earlier than I thought, sir.
Wilem commented on Master Lorren's Wall post: Maybe you should make the security options for that section a little more complex in order to prevent teenagers from gaining access easily.
Simmon: Wil! You just wrote a complete sentence! And you said you sucked at Aturan!
Wilem: I know. Google Translation is the best translator I've found so far.
Master Lorren: I LOL.
(325 people like this)
Master Elxa Dal: Holy ****! You what?
The Chancellor: Language, Elxa Dal.
Master Elxa Dal: Whatever =)) So, to anyone that had made Lorren laugh out loud, please like this comment to get your reward of 10 gold marks. (189 people like this)
Master Elxa Dal: **** it! You wanna rape my purse to death?
The Chancellor: Elxa Dal! One more time and you are fired!
Master Lorren: Just for the record, I didn't laugh.
Master Elxa Dal: What? But you said "LOL"!
Master Lorren: I said: "I Lost One Leg".
The Chancellor: SHIT!
Master Elxa Dal: Holy cow, you SWORE! Master Lorren: What's wrong? What happened? What's the problem?
Master Arwyl: He's fine now. I've sewn it back.
The Chancellor: That's possible?
Master Arwyl: Anything is possible in the fiction world. I've even read a story about a boy that has spent a night with Felurian and left with both his sanity and his life. That can't be done in the real world. The story is called "The Kingkiller Chronicle".
Master Elxa Dal: Really? I must check it out.
The Chancellor: And everyone, my swearing doesn't leave this status. OK?
Master Elxa Dal: Everyone knows about it already. Don't you see the 325 people that like this status?
The Chancellor: *faints*
Simmon: Do you believe that every time Kvothe finds something new, he gets into trouble?
(7 people like this)
Wilem: Nah. I don't.
Mola: Me neither.
Simmon: Guys, how about a bet?
Wilem: You're on. 5 jots that he doesn't.
Mola: 3 jots.
Simmon: Just wait and see.
*2 minutes later*
Kvothe the Bloodless: Hey, I just bought a really cool device called "Eye-pod". How can I use it?
Simmon: Go to the "iTunes" Facebook page and ask. They know everything about it.
*back to Simmon's status*
Simmon: He found something new!
Mola: What is it?
Simmon: An iPod.
Fela: Aw, the safest thing in the world. I'll take the bet too. How about a talent?
Simmon: OK. I know more about him than you all do.
*meanwhile, at the iTunes page*
Kvothe the Bloodless: Hey, how can I use an Eye-Pod?
(125 people like this)
Eminem: Jackass. Wait a minute… Aren't you that new singer?
Kvothe the Bloodless: Yep.
Eminem: You better not diss me like that Rosey, dude. Or else I'll fry your arse. (353 people like this)
Kvothe the Bloodless: I take attitude from no one, man. I got enough people after my arse.
Eminem: Oh f*** you. It's on!
Simmon: Pay up.
Wilem: How about I give you my FarmVille account?
Simmon: Nope.
That's it for a chapter. Later days!
NCT