Legal: I don't own Supernatural. Or its characters.
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I can't resist her anymore. Her mouth runs down my chin and I feel her bare flesh against mine. I try to remember exactly what I'm supposed to think she is . . . an abomination. Her hands are on my back and she pulls me closer to her. Her eyes burn black when we kiss; she slides her tongue past my teeth.
She tells me that she wants, needs me inside of her.
Her cell phone rings and I almost hope it distracts her, away from me. I know it's him. Sam Winchester. She doesn't answer.
I'm not supposed to do this. With anyone. Ever. Especially not her.
But we're alone, in some abandoned warehouse; she'd said we needed to talk. I'm terrified, I'm disgusted, but I love the way her lips brush against my stomach. I have no idea what I'm about to do.
"Castiel, please," she whispers. "Don't you want to fuck me?"
I can't look at her. This feeling, this uncontrollable desire, I've never, ever felt it before. I want her so bad. I want to kill her. All at once.
She knows I've never done this, she says that's cute.
"Ruby." Her name is all I can manage to say.
She hovers over me, long strands of dark hair hanging down into her face. Our clothes lay in a pile beside us. I'm not sure how this happened.
She tells me that I'm that I'm beautiful, for an angel, and she kind of wants to destroy me.
I let her slide me inside her just a little, and she's all warm, and soft, and tight around me. She laughs, thrusts herself against me until I'm deep within her. I can't even think, she's grinding her hips into me and I can hardly believe a demon could ever make me feel so perfect.
She takes my hands and forces them up her body, onto her breasts, up to her face. She slips my fingers into her mouth, sucks on them slowly. She pulls me by the shoulders, arches her back towards the floor, positioning my body over hers, keeping our bodies joined the entire time. She smiles, and I almost think she's pretty, here in whatever pale light the windows let in.
Her legs wrap around my body, and I try to stay in rhythm with the way she moves against me. She's done this before, with Sam, so many others. Her dark eyes are wide open. She's watching me. Without thinking, I kiss her; run my hands up the back of her head, my fingers knotted in her hair.
"Do you like being inside me…inside a demon?" she asks.
"Yes." I love it, but the smell of her skin, the feeling of her breath on my neck, infuriates me.
I won't ever be forgiven, not for this.
We finish at nearly the same time, and I push myself off of her, and bring my knees up to my face. She doesn't get up, she just lies there on the floor, naked, and I can't take my eyes off her. She moves her legs apart slightly.
"No one can know about this," I tell her. "The other angels…I don't know what will happen to me."
"They already know," she says. "And it's not like fucking an angel is going to go over well with Hell, either."
"Are you using me, like you're using Sam Winchester?"
"Sam and me, we're using each other. You have no idea." She sits up and crawls towards me. "You, I just like your cock."
She rests her head on my shoulder. "You're ruined now, how can you call yourself an angel after this? I ruined you."
"I should kill you now." I run my fingers along her leg.
"But you won't." Her phone is ringing again and she glances at it. "Sam, Sam, Sam. I think he's addicted to me. Maybe you'll be addicted to me, too."
"I don't think so."
She sits up straight and puts her hands on my face, puts her lips near mine as she talks. "What do you think God thinks of you now? Not such an obedient little soldier anymore, huh?"
I close my eyes. I could make myself disappear; I could be anywhere I want right now. But I can't bring myself to leave. She wraps her arms around me, tangles her body up with mine. I want her all over again, but I resist.
"What do you feel guiltier about?" she asks. "Banging a demon, or the fact that you loved it?"
"Stop," is all I say.
"If it makes you feel better, I loved it too. You were pretty good, you know, for a virgin. But Sam…Sam's a little rougher. You should try that, you know, next time we do it."
"There won't be a next time."
"Right," she laughs. "Sam said that too, after he fucked me the first time. And the second. And the third."
"I'm not Sam Winchester."
"Yeah. You're an angel of the lord, and all that." She stares up at me, licks her lips. "But you and Sam, you both couldn't stop yourselves." She presses her lips into mine, I try to fight the urge to reciprocate, but I let my tongue slip into her mouth.
She pulls away and says, "See, there's no way…you won't come back to me…for more."
She stands up; my eyes follow her naked body as she walks in circles on the concrete floor. I reach towards her in the darkness, and I use her hips to pull myself up, and I hold her body against mine.
I wrap my hands around her neck and she just laughs, throws her head back. "You won't hurt me, Castiel."
"I might."
She drops down to her knees and runs her hand up my thigh. "You won't." She takes me into her mouth, and I lean back, close my eyes.
I will never, ever be forgiven for this.
(to be continued)