The Only Time The Z Senshi Lost, a dragon ball z fanfic

A/N: This is just a silly little ONE TIME fic that popped into my head. The product of a bored and idle mind. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Today is opposite day. I don't own DBZ.

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The Only Time The Z Senshi Lost

This would be the battle of the century. No!…of the millennium! The Z Warriors, consisting of Goku, Vegeta, Trunks, Gohan, Goten, Pan, Bra, Piccolo, and Krillin, were all gathered above their usual barren, rocky battle ground, facing their toughest opponent yet. A lone dark figure hovered over the ground across from them. It was a face-off. The tension in the air was so thick you could burn a hole through it with a ki blast.

Goku and Vegeta headed the heroic group, Vegeta in his usual cross-armed pose, arrogance radiating from every pore in his shorter-than-average body and his typical condescending smirk plastered across his handsome royal features, and Goku on full alert, crouched in a fighting stance with a fiercely intense look in place of his usual goofy grin. The rest of the senshi were arrayed behind them in varying degrees of battle-readiness, watching the exchange closely.

"How do you, a lone warrior with a middling power level, propose to defeat all of us?" Vegeta, of course was the spokesman for the group.

The strange warrior returned Vegeta's smirk. Vegeta scowled. That was the same smirk his mate wore when she knew something that he didn't. He hated that smirk.

"Simple." The Warrior said, his voice fluid and calm. "I've done my research."

"Humph. How is that supposed to help you? If you had really done your research, you would have found that we are undefeatable." Was Vegeta's disdainful retort.

"You're all Saiyans or part Saiyans aren't you?" The Warrior waited for the affirmative nod that Goku gave him. "Well, I have discovered your weakness."

Vegeta gave a quick bark of scornful laughter. "Ha! We have no weaknesses!"

The Warrior's smirk grew until it became a cold, cruel smile. "Oh, but you do. And I know just how to exploit it."

"Well then get on with it baka! I grow weary of your mindless drivel. Do your worst! You cannot win!" Vegeta challenged pompously.

"If you insist" came the equally haughty reply. The lone warrior reached behind his back and pulled out………a large slab of meat. He carelessly tossed it on the ground between the two opposing forces. It landed near Goku.

Vegeta blinked in surprise, as much in shock as the rest of the senshi. He quickly regained his composure and gazed superiorly back at the Warrior. "Was that the best you can do? Did you really think that a piece of meat would be an adequate diversion to trained warriors such as ourselves? We are not so gullible as that. Right, Kakarott?" Silence greeted him. "Right Kakarott?" Still silent. "Kakarott?" Vegeta turned to see that Goku had disappeared. He quickly spotted him, sitting on the ground, devouring the meat. "KAKAROTT!!"

Goku looked up with an apologetic look on his face. Then he resumed consumption of the unknown animal protein.

"Fine!" Vegeta snarled. He turned back to the Warrior, contempt dripping from his voice, "You may have caught that idiotic Kakarott in your little trap, but the rest of us will not be so easily distracted!"

"Is that so?" The Warrior said mockingly. He pulled a large capsule out of his pocket, pressed the button, and threw it.

It landed in the middle of the gaggle of fighters and exploded into a large banquet table, loaded to the breaking point with food. All of the demi-saiyans except Trunks pounced on the food, beginning an immediate feeding frenzy. Vegeta pinned his son with a glare that demanded that he remain where he was and uphold the family honor. Meanwhile, Goku finished his appetizer and joined in the fray.

Trunks twitched…….then turned and dived into the pile of berserk diners. "Sorry Dad!" he called over his shoulder. "But family loyalty only goes so far! Hey guys! Save some for me!"

Disgusted, Vegeta turned back to glare at the Warrior. "You might have tricked those pathetic fools who dare to call themselves warriors, but you will not succeed as long as I still stand against you."

"True," the Warrior laughed, "but how long will you last?"

"As long as I need to." Vegeta watched out of the corner of his eyes as the mountain of food was being rapidly demolished. He began to sweat.

"Oh dear. I hope I brought enough food." the Warrior taunted.

The scent of turkey wafted to Vegeta's nose. Vegeta wavered. His stomach growled. And with an angry roar, the mighty prince leapt into the desperate fight for food. "Get your filthy hands off that cream-puff!!" was his battle cry.

Krillin and Piccolo were left gawking at the results of the very clever ploy. They were frozen in place, staring dumbfounded at the mass of struggling bodies that were formerly the earth's protectors. Saiyans simply couldn't resist food….

Piccolo roused himself from his state of shock and turned on the Warrior. "How dare you!" he shouted. In the background you could hear the loud smacks and slurps of food being gobbled up at an alarming rate and the low growl of "Get your elbow out of my face!"

"That was such a low trick!"

The Warrior smirked. "I know. Why, do you think I used it?"

Before Piccolo could make a comeback, someone shouted "Hey! Sparkling water!"

Piccolo's eyes went wide. "Sparkling……water…..?" He too jumped into the battle, cape flying behind him.

Krillin could only shake his head in disbelief.

The Warrior left. Presumably to plunder and pillage any nearby metropolis.

Krillin had just noticed the lone warrior's absence and was about to go after him when a pink-frosted cupcake rolled to a halt near his feet. After a brief internal battle, Krillin shrugged, picked up the cupcake, sat down, and began eating.

"Baka." Vegeta grumbled at Goku around a ginormous* turkey leg. "This is all your fault."

"Sorry Vegeta," Goku said, food particles flying from his mouth, "but he had meat."

Smoke and flames began to rise visibly from the nearest city. No one seemed to notice.

* No that's not a misspelling. It's a word that my guy friends created. It's a combination between gigantic and enormous. Just in case you couldn't figure it out.