I stood right off to the side backstage watching the love of my life perform. He was so amazing. I could listen to his voice for days without end and I would never tire of it. Oh, wait a second. Before you guys get the wrong idea that isn't my boyfriend or husband out there… no sadly that is Kurt Hummel, best singer to come out since Gaga herself. I am nobody. I am Blaine Anderson, Kurt's head of security and right hand man. Yeah, we had a great friendship and we never ran out of things to talk about while I was getting him from show to show or when we had to be in public for some CD signing or something like that. He enjoys the same things I do and sometimes to an even bigger extent. We talk about Broadway and how that was his first dream before his voice got in the way of getting parts. We talk about high school as we have both been out of it for less than five years and we were both in our own respective glee clubs. That conversation lead us to when we found out that growing up, we lived about two hours away until he moved to New York and I moved to L.A.
Yes I was madly in love with him. I have been since that first day. My boss had called me in saying that there was an up and coming artist who was in need of a non homophobic bodyguard. I had heard of Kurt Hummel's music, his first single was a huge remake of the Gaga classic "Born This Way" and it had made it's circuit around the city. Everyone knew he was gay and my boss knew I was gay so who better than to protect a famous gay man then a gay man trained to protect. Not to brag but I come highly recommended what with my experience in my school's boxing club and my small but muscular build. It was a match made in heaven.
So I stand off to the sides night after night and I watch. I watch Kurt perform and blow everyone's mind because he was just that good. I will watch him and then when it is over he will run off stage and I will get him to our bus that he and I travel on while dodging the crazed fan girls -and fan guys- who want a piece of him. If only he knew that the crazy fans weren't the only ones who wanted a piece of him. Fans wanted him for one night… I wanted him forever and more…
As I belt out the last note of my song, I have a pair of hazel eyes in my mind. Blaine's perfect eyes that stare at me sometimes when he thinks I am not looking or not paying much attention. This song is for him. He could never know that. No one could. The press would have a field day if I got together with my bodyguard but I do love him so. I wish I could tell him.
I run off stage and into Blaine's care as he, once again, safely gets me to the bus as we dodge all the screaming fans who want my autograph or a date. Though why the girls try I don't know, they know I don't like them romantically at all. I was known as gay before I even came out to the public so that when I did only a few people were shocked it was true.
I wish it was normal… That Blaine and I had met in high school… I mean for crying out loud we competed against each other in glee club! I remember his voice too because sometimes he sings when he thinks I am asleep. It was amazing to the point to where I had no idea why he was a bodyguard and not on stage with his own protection waiting on him. But he is my body guard and I am the famous singer and it isn't normal so we didn't get together as rivalries in high school (Rachel would have murdered us both anyway) so for now I guess I have to suppress my feelings and wonder. I wonder about a lot of things… I wonder about that look Blaine gets when he looks at me. I wonder about why I think I hear him softly growl when the stray fan gets to me to tell me how much he or she loves me… it is even worse with the guys come to think of it. I wonder why on earth he hasn't just let the fans get me because of the effort it takes to keep them back. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him or hold him… to feel the muscles I see flex when holding back a crowd for me… God those muscles… Oh come one Kurt, concentrate! I scream at myself.
We have made it to our bus now… Yes Blaine and I share a bus. He had the option to stay with me or the other three guys on my security team -Nick, Jeff and Puck- and he chose to stay with me… That also had me wondering. Why would he stay with me? But at the same time it was amazing. If neither of us could sleep we would lie awake and talk. Sometimes he thinks I am asleep and he sings softly to no one in particular. It is always a song I know. Sometimes from a musical or from one of our favorite artists. Last night he sang and it was the most beautiful song ever. It was one of mine actually. Well… it was Whitney Houston's but where she died while I was a senior in high school still I did a remake of "I Have Nothing". Blaine didn't go high in pitch like I did… but his voice suited it just as well when you changed the keys around a bit.
"Kurt? Kurt?" I am snapped back to reality from thinking of the song last night by Blaine of course.
"Yes, Blaine?" My voice still has that dreamy tone to it.
"I was wondering if you were ready to head out? We will need to leave within the hour to make the next tour stop on time." Ah always punctual. I love that about him.
"Yes of course. I was just going to get into comfier clothes and relax. Tell the buses they can go now."
As I grab my soft cotton pajama pants and shirt, I listen to him on his radio signaling to leave. Why did I find that radio so… attractive… it empowered him. That is the only explanation I could think of.
When I come out from changing and doing my nightly routine of moisturizing, I see he has already changed into one of his old guard shirts that is WAY too tight on him to be legal and grey sweats. I never liked sweat but I liked them on him… He looked good in anything…
He climbed on top bunk and I snuggled into the bottom. We chatted idly about the show before I grew tired and fell asleep.
I heard Kurt's breath even out as I stared at the ceiling of the bunk. I needed to tell him. I had been trying through song for a while now… maybe if I sing while he is asleep his brain will still pick up on it. I sing "Your Song" by Elton John and soon found myself drifting off to sleep as well. Dreaming of the boy who I wish was mine.