Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or anything else from the Harry Potter universe. I have my Queen JK Rowling to thank for that.
Chapter One
James Potter wasn't sure when the first moment he had realised he was in love with Lily Evans had been. Perhaps it was in second year, when he'd pulled her pigtails and dropped frogspawn down her robes in Potions class. Perhaps it was in fourth year when he tripped over table legs to sit next to her in class or stumbled over his words trying to talk to her. Or perhaps in was in fifth year when her green eyes burned like fire when she was angry with him, or when he saw her trying desperately to bite back a laugh at one of the Marauders most recent pranks.
Whenever it was, he was so in love with her it made him sick.
Lily was just so perfect. She was kind and considerate, always willing to help out a lost first year or defend a cornered second year. She was sharp and witty, always the first to answer a question in Charms class or throw a comeback to one of his indecent proposals. She was brave and selfless, always the first to defend someone who didn't quite fit in, always be-friending those pesky Slytherins that everyone else kept at arm's length. She never let anything dampen her spirit, she was always happy and she was always smiling.
Even at the end of last year, when her so called best friend Severus Snape had called her a mudblood in front of half of their year. She hadn't let anyone think it bothered her, she still studied hard in the library and sunbathed out on the lawn with Mary McDonald, she was still always one of the first to laugh at Sirius' jokes or volunteer to help out with extra Prefect duty.
She hadn't forgiven Snape, not that James thought he deserved forgiveness. It just didn't seem very much like Lily. When it came to anyone but James she was usually the first to jump in at their defence. James had thought she would go to the grave defending Snape and his obsession with the Dark Arts, arguing that he ran with the wrong crowd and that he was just misunderstood.
Perhaps he had just pushed her too far this time.
Whatever it was, it seemed that even Lily Evans' never ending patience had finally wavered, and she wasn't willing to forgive her ex best friend. So she had left at the end of their fifth year, perhaps a little disappointed, but just as happy as she always was.
Only, she didn't look very happy at the moment.
James knew this because one of his favourite hobbies was to watch her. Not in a creepy, follow her through the shadows and watch her while she slept, sort of way. He just found her mannerisms so interesting. He loved the way the light shined in her red hair, and her green eyes sparkled when she laughed. He loved how her brows furrowed together when she was reading a particularly complex book. He loved how she would narrow her eyes and wrinkle her nose in his direction when she caught him staring.
Really, he loved everything about her.
So thanks to his odd - and slightly stalker-like – hobby, he knew something wasn't quite right with Lily Evans. She was sat a few seats down from him and his friends at the Gryffindor table, across from her best friend and fellow Gryffindor, Mary McDonald. Mary was talking animatedly, her arms flailing around, obviously retailing her fellow sixth year girls with a tale from her summer holidays. Lily wasn't looking at her friend; she was looking down at her untouched plate of food, stabbing her mashed potatoes continuously with the tines of her fork and her face was blank and unreadable.
Something was definitely wrong.
Lily Evans did not sit quietly at the start of term feast. She listened to her friend's stories, ginning away as though she wanted nothing more to sit and listen to them talk. She ate with gusto, usually because she was hungry and the food tasted good. Sometimes she would even glance up at the Slytherin table to smile at Severus, or glare down at where James and his friends were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table.
Not today.
Today Lily Evans looked as though she wanted to be anywhere but sat in the middle of the rowdy Gryffindor table. Her face was chalk white, her green eyes were hard like stones and her plate of food remained untouched.
The universe felt quite unbalooanced somehow.
James wasn't sure he could stand it. He didn't like to see anyone looking so upset, but when it was Lily Evans? Something had to be done.
He turned back to his friends, "Do you think Evans is upset?" he asked them quietly.
Their reaction was immediate and predictable. His best friend Sirius Black was sat across the table from James; he looked up from his food and wrinkled his nose. "Prongs" he said very seriously, "Get a grip."
Remus Lupin was sat to his right and simply rolled his eyes without looking up from his plate, while Peter Pettigrew who was sat beside Sirius threw James a sympathetic look.
This was a usual reaction from his three best friends, together the four of them made up the infamous group The Marauders. They were well known throughout the castle for rule breaking, pranking and general misbehaving. They were all far too used to James' unnatural infatuation with Lily Evans, and had long since grown sick of listening to him talk about her.
"I'm serious" he hissed at his friends, growing angry at their lack of response, "She looks like a corpse that decided to come to the feast for the hell of it."
Sirius snorted, "Nice one, Prongs" he said, grinning. "Be sure to say that to her, I'm sure it'll get you a date."
James glared at his best friend.
"Now that you mention it, she didn't turn up to the Prefect carriage on the train" said Remus thoughtfully, glancing over at the red head with furrowed eyebrows. "Which isn't like Lily."
"Don't you start, Moony" Sirius complained, helping himself to one of the deserts that had just magically appeared on the table. "So what if she's upset?" he shrugged, "If she wanted your help she'd ask for it."
"You're so compassionate, Padfoot" James bit out.
Sirius ran his hand through his black hair, "She wouldn't notice if one of us was upset" he pointed out.
"That's not true" Peter said softly, "She'd be the first to notice."
"Yeah" Remus agreed, snorting. "Wait, Sirius didn't just make an innuendo? Something has to be wrong with the universe."
"Hold on, James Potter isn't trying to ask me out?" Sirius pulled a face of mock horror, "Am I dreaming?"
"How many times has she slept in the hospital wing with you, Moony" James pointed out.
"She always hexes the Seventh year Slytherins when she catches them bullying me" Peter agreed.
"Alright, so Evans is a lot nicer than me" Sirius pulled a face, "What's your point?"
"My point, Padfoot" James said, his teeth gritting together, "Is there is a damsel in distress over there and you're passing up the opportunity to help her out."
"How very un-gentlemanly of you" Remus put in.
"I'm quite ashamed" Peter agreed.
Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed in a put upon sort of way, "So what exactly do you suggest we do, Prongs?" he asked, "Because in case you hadn't noticed, we're not exactly high on Evans' list of favourite people."
"Wrong again, Padfoot!" James grinned, "I am not high on that list, the rest of you however are very liked by Lily Evans."
"So remind me again why you're doing this?"
"Because she is going to be my wife one day" James said simply, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I will not have my bride to be upset."
"Right then" Sirius said, standing up as though the matter was settled. "As best man I can't see this wedding fall into shambles."
He turned on his heel, leapt over the bench and marched towards where Mary and Lily were sitting. Luckily the headmaster had just finished reading the start of term notices and was about to dismiss the hall, though his blue eyes twinkled as his surveyed Sirius he chose not to comment but rather sent all of the students to bed.
With that James, Remus and Peter leapt up to run and catch up with Sirius, who had already made himself quite at home sitting beside Mary.
James rolled his eyes but stopped just short of where they were sitting, smiling at both of the girls in greeting.
He felt slightly wrong footed when neither of them even bothered to look up at him, so he decided to try for a pleasant conversation. "Hello ladies" he said, grinning in a way he thought was quite charming, "How were your holidays?"
"James" Mary said in a rigid tone, she almost sounded like she was warning him. "Now really isn't a good time."
He frowned; it wasn't like Mary to be so hostile when she greeted him. In fact, he and Mary were usually on very good terms, it was her best friend who couldn't stand him. He glanced down at Lily to see she wasn't looking at him, her jaw was set and she was glaring in the other direction, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
He glanced at Sirius to find he was also looking at Lily curiously.
Yes, something was wrong if even Sirius had noticed.
Something had to be done.
He subtly elbowed Remus who seemed to be waiting for a signal before opening his mouth and saying, "I was wondering if you could help me out with the first years, Mary?" smiling at her in that Remus Lupin way that said nothing was amiss. James was envious that Remus could always manage to look so innocent without even trying. He and Sirius never managed it. "It's just that Lily is looking a little under the weather" Remus continued, "and it would be good to have a helping hand."
"Well-" Mary hesitated, glancing at Lily as though her friend could provide some guidance.
Lily still wasn't looking at them however and she was feigning deafness. Perhaps she was hoping if she pretended none of them were there they would eventually get bored and leave her alone.
No such luck.
So Peter stepped in, "Knew we could count on you, Mary!" he said enthusiastically, grabbing her under the arms and yanking her off her chair, "You're always there to help a friend in need."
With that he and Remus practically frog marched her out of the hall.
So James and Sirius were left alone with Lily Evans.
James nodded at his friend as an indication that he should continue. Whenever James spoke to Lily the conversation usually ended up in shouting, and he didn't think that would provide the best results right now.
"Can we walk you to your dorm, Evans?" Sirius asked in his most polite voice, his black eyes wide and his hair perfectly tousled. Sirius Black might be James' best friend, but that didn't mean he couldn't hate the bastard sometimes. He was just too damn handsome for his own good. "A pretty girl like you shouldn't be walking the corridors alone, you know."
A smile twisted on Lily's lips and she turned to look at Sirius for the first time, her green eyes oddly blank, "You going to kidnap me too, Snuffles?" she asked.
James snorted.
Lily and Sirius had an odd sort of friendship that had more often than not made James envious. On the surface and when in the presence of strangers the two pretended they completely hated each other. Sirius pretended he thought she was a straight laced know it all who couldn't bend a rule if her life depended on it, and Lily pretended she thought he was a reckless and stupid rule breaker who didn't have a sensible thought in his head.
In reality, Sirius cared about Lily down to his bones and would do anything to protect her, and Lily loved Sirius like he was her own brother and would always look after him no matter what stupid scheme he'd gotten himself in to.
The truth usually came out when they had been drinking, and that was when Lily had first called Sirius by her absurd nickname for him, 'Snuffles.' It had been at a Quidditch after party that the two had drank too much Firewhiskey and snuck off together. James wasn't sure entirely what had happened between them, just that Sirius had been regaling her with tales of his womanising past, she'd accused him of being a dog and he'd proved to her how right she was.
Sirius' animagus form was a huge, black, shaggy dog.
Lily still confessed he was the cutest thing on four paws, and from that day on she had started calling him Snuffles. Sirius said he hated it, they all knew he loved it.
Their relationship was dynamic, confusing to everyone on the outside and downright painful for James to watch. But Sirius made Lily laugh, and for now that was good enough for him.
"Just want to take you to your door" Sirius said, standing up and offering her his hand. "Like any good gentleman would."
Lily snorted and reached out to take his hand, allowing him to help her up, "You're no gentleman, Black" she told him.
"Well I wouldn't say no to a goodnight kiss" Sirius grinned, looping his arm around her and pulling her out of the hall. "But that's why we have a chaperone."
For the first time that evening Lily looked up at James. Her usual rosy cheeks were so pale she looked like a ghost, and he could barely make out the freckles that dusted her nose. Dark circles ghosted the skin under her eyes and while she was smiling at Sirius' antics it didn't reach her eyes, which were so sad he had to resist the temptation to reach out and hold her.
"Hello, Evans" he said, grinning down at her. "You're looking as lovely as ever this evening."
"Hello, Potter" she said woodenly, "You're as annoyingly observational as ever this evening."
"I try" he smiled, nodding his head in her direction.
Sirius pulled her through a concealed tapestry on the second floor that no one really knew about, and was therefore free of bustling students making their way to their respective common rooms, "So Ginge" he said conversationally, still holding firmly on to her arm as though he was afraid she'd take off the minute he let go, "You gonna tell us what's taken the pink out of your cheeks?"
Lily shrugged, "I'm just feeling a little under the weather" she told them, "No big deal."
"You see I would buy that" Sirius agreed, nodding away, "If you were anyone but Lily Evans."
"I agree Padfoot" James put in, hurrying to keep up with the two. "I remember a fifth year Lily Evans with the flu, spending two days with smoke continuously pouring out of her ears from five times a day doses of Pepper Up Potion just so she wouldn't have to miss classes."
"Indeed Prongs" Sirius agreed, nodding and looking pointedly at Lily. "Or second year Lily who had Mumblemumps and tried to sneak out of the Hospital Wing no less than fifteen times."
Lily rolled her eyes, "Can't you lot ever just mind your own business?" she asked.
They had reached a secret corridor to the right of the Fat Lady's Portrait, and so Sirius pulled on Lily's arm until she turned to look at him.
"When Lily Evans doesn't use her Prefect power to put us in detention-"
"Or doesn't eat anything at the start of term feast" James put in.
"Then we consider it our business to find out what is wrong" Sirius finished.
Lily sighed, obviously having an inward debate over the possibility of them leaving her alone without her first telling them what was wrong. She glared at both of them, her eyes hard as shiny emeralds and her lips set into a hard line, "My parents were killed last month" she said simply, "Some things are more important than prefect duty and food."
With that she turned on her heel and left the two of them dumbfounded in her wake.