Extremely short one-shot Spencers pov after Aria killed Shana. If they are dating or just friends is up to you to decide.

Spencers pov

Whats the right way to react to this kind of situation?

To scream and shout, letting every emotion burst out, letting yourself cry and sob for nights on end and letting the results of your actions consume you?

Maybe its to pretend nothing happened. Try to convince yourself it was just a dream, it wasn't real. Just run away from it, avoid it, forget it. Just continue to walk down the halls at school, eat dinner with your family, and hang out with your friends on their couches watching cheesy chick flicks on saturday nights and act as if you didn't just take someone's life away from them?

Aria wasn't reacting in any of these ways. It scared me. I wanted to help, no I needed to help her. She was my everything. She was my rock when I needed her to be, and now I want to do the same thing. But it was so hard.

Aria was strong. Well, at least she acted strong. She refused to cry in front of others, refused to let others see her weaknesses. She's brave. But most importantly she's a good person. And when a good person does something like what she did. Its going to effect them pretty strongly.

Its only been two weeks now. Its still fresh in her mind, I know it is, as much as she pretends its not. In front of the others, Emily and Hanna, even Alison, she doesn't talk about it, she doesn't pretend its not there, because she knows it is, but she acts as if its not bothering her as much as it is. Like, its just a small, mere, passing thought in her mind throughout the day. I know the truth though. Well I like to think I do.

She's breaking. The guilt is eating at her. I know about the sleepless nights, she lies awake, not crying, no, but eyes are glassy and damp, and she just lets the memory replay, like a broken record. She can't escape it.

In the mornings she goes back to her fake cover, pleading me to go along, pleading me not to say anything and just act normal. I agree. Because she doesn't need the attention right now. She doesn't need the other three asking her how she's doing every five minutes, and she doesn't need the pity glances they shoot her, silently saying that their sorry and wish they could help more.

She'd hate me if I ever told them, anyone, how bad she's really doing. I can't let her hate me. I love her. I need her. She needs me to. Especially right now. Im the only one she's been honest with. The only one she opens up to just the slightest. She needs me. She needs me. She needs me.

I have to be there for her to cry to when the memories are consuming her to much. I have to be there when someone brings it up and guilt attacks her. I have to be there when her brother plays his stupid violin music for his project and the sounds bring everything rushing back.

Its as if suddenly, I can't find myself without her there. She's everywhere. I don't know if thats my doing or hers. Is she following me or am I following her? Is she afraid to be alone or am I afraid to let her be alone. Either way, I love her, and I'm not leaving her side until she wants me to. Until she asks me to. Until she needs me to.

Review please.