You started to drown when you were twelve.
When your sister was gone, you slipped off of your island into a temperamental ocean. Sometimes it tossed you around angrily like a rag doll and pushed you under and all you could do was wait it out. Other times it was calm and let you catch your breath until it started to swirl and storm as it always inevitably did.
And then you discovered your files that held secrets you never expected, and your ocean didn't do what you had expected. Until then, you figured your ocean would only calm until you had something that could explain your sister's disappearance. But instead your ocean became greatly agitated and it began to push you under it's ominous surface more and more frequently. Nothing could appease your ocean.
Until a lifeboat came along and threw you a line. You held onto it tightly, grateful for the moments you didn't have to struggle so hard. Your ocean was still raging war against you, but you didn't need to fight back.
But your lifeboat sped away unannounced, yanking your line back furiously. You were on your own again, left to fend for your life all by yourself again.
Now, you are flailing wildly, sending great walls of water up all around you. You hope your lifeboat will come back soon, but then you realize that your boat won't be coming back, just like your sister.
And then you sink down to the inky depths of your ocean, where no one can hear your screams for help.
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