A/N: So, it occurred to me as I was planning my other 3x16 fics that Barry & Wally DEFINITELY come back at night & the next scene is DEFINITELY in the morning, which implies that Barry & Iris don't break up until the night AFTER Barry & Wally come back out of the speed force. So this is my take on what immediately followed up the scene where Iris hugs Barry after he's been pulled out of the speed force with Wally.
*Many thanks to my ever faithful beta, sendtherain.
*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
...
He held her close, let her cling to him with all her might. She pulled herself up on her tip-toes so she could reach him, so could inhale his scent and feel his body flush up against hers and know he was alive.
The love between them was real. He knew that much. He also knew that with the responsibility of keeping her safe back solely on his shoulders, there was something he had to do. He was fairly positive that when she was truly assured that he was back on the physical plane that she would agree with him, too. She was acting on fear relieved now, but that didn't mean her opinion from earlier had changed. She had said she loved him before he'd disappeared into the speed force, albeit reluctantly; but she'd still taken off her ring, and she'd kept it off. He didn't feel it on her finger as it maintained a tight grip on his back.
That would make things easier. She would understand, maybe even be glad he thought of it first, so she wouldn't have to initiate that hard conversation. He would take initiative and make things right the way he should have in the beginning before love had turned into manipulation driven by fear.
Yes, this was right.
He just didn't know if easier necessarily meant easy. In fact he was fairly sure it didn't. Transitions were always tricky, whether there was a mutual understanding or not.
"Barry," she began softly, making him tense involuntarily.
He felt her slip slowly downward and out of his grip. He let his hands fall to the side. He watched her cautiously, waiting for her move. His plans were one thing, but the immediate future was something else entirely.
"Look, I know we have to talk," she continued, "About us, about everything."
She avoided his gaze awhile, but she refused to move her left hand about the way she had before, not wanting to make him aware that her thoughts were focused on their broken engagement, even though he knew they were.
He still didn't speak, didn't trust himself to. Not in this moment. Not when she was still broken, and he was still tired with the weight of the world crushing him in a way it hadn't been before, or at least not for a while.
"But maybe…" Her eyes lifted to his. Then her hand took one of his, and then the other. "Maybe tonight we could just be together?" Her bottom lip trembled. He felt hot chills race over his body and his heart plunge into the pit of his stomach.
"Iris, I don't know if—" he tried, but she beat him to it.
"Please," she begged, eyes watery and pleading and yearning for him to say yes to her. "I…" Her breath hitched again, the way it had before their hug, though maybe a little more desperate. "I almost lost you. Cisco lost you. And until we got Jay to go in after you, we thought we'd lost both you and Wally. And that there'd be no way of getting you back. And I…I couldn't think of a worse fate, especially with how we'd left things."
He swallowed and wondered briefly if the conversation he'd started to plan for later would go over as smoothly as he expected it to. He wrapped his hands around her arms and squeezed gently, reassuring her.
"But you did get me back. I'm right here, Iris. I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded and took a deep breath. "I know." She licked her lips and pursed them, then looked up at him again, going in for round two. "Will you come home with me, Barry? We can talk tomorrow after you've slept, after we both have and can see how to move forward in a new light." She tilted her head to the side. "What do you say?"
He sighed softly and considered her request. He opened his mouth but not a word tumbled out, so he closed them again.
"Aren't you tired?" she whispered, then lifted her hands to cradle his face and run her fingers through his hair. "Don't you want to rest before a new day with new problems starts again?"
He closed his eyes and leaned into one of her hands, letting himself give in a little to the weariness that finally was started to seep in.
"Okay, Iris." He opened his eyes and looked at her, forcing a tiny smile to appease her. "Let's go home."
The relief flitting across her face worried him again, but he brushed it aside. He was tired. He would let her rest, let them both rest. He would worry about what would come next tomorrow.
Iris let her hands fall to the side, then took one of his in her own and threaded their fingers together. She squeezed tightly, reassuringly, and then led him out of the speed lab to their home and a night to forget.
…
The loft was quiet when they arrived, all the lights off and even their turtle asleep in her bowl. Iris had driven them both home, not forcing conversation in the car. Instead just contenting herself with the sound of him breathing and the slight rise and fall of his chest that she caught out of the corner of her eye. They were silent going up the elevator, and even inside the only sound was that of her setting down the keys on the small table just inside the doorway and slipping out of her heels on the wood floor.
"You probably want to take a shower," she ventured, not overthinking why she chose to whisper.
"I'm too tired, Iris," he said, and she could practically feel it in his heavy sigh. "I just want to—"
"Hey, it's okay," she said soothingly, turning around and placing a hand gently on his chest, causing him to stop moving. "You can do it in the morning." Her smile was tremulous, but she counted it a success when he nodded and followed her up the stairs.
She didn't know why, but she went to the bathroom to change her clothes. It bothered her after the fact that even undressing in front of him felt uncertain, but she hoped the distance wouldn't last. She really didn't want it to. If she'd learned anything from this experience, it was that life was too short. She didn't want to make any snap decisions, even now, but she was so grateful to have him with her again that in this moment she would do anything to make sure she didn't come so close to losing him again.
When she emerged from the bathroom, she found him tucked beneath the covers, a t-shirt on from what she could tell. She wasn't sure if it was the one he'd worn home because the lights were off, but it hardly mattered. What mattered was that he was in their bed, and he was safe. And that when she crawled into bed beside him, he didn't shy away. He let her close the distance between them, let her bring her face close to his, let her find his hand beneath the sheets and intertwine their fingers once again.
"Iris…"
His murmur was soft, a mere breath in the space between them. She knew she'd only heard it because she was so close. The vulnerability in it drew a shaky, relieved exhale from her lips. She felt herself relax into the mattress. Then her head was on his pillow, and she lifted her face to brush her nose against his, to give them more intimate skin-to-skin contact. She still didn't trust herself to kiss him, not with the uncertainty of their relationship still before them.
"I'm here," she responded just as softly, squeezing his hand again. "I'm not going anywhere."
He sighed then the way she had, a complete depletion of energy and undeniable relief. She had to believe that meant something; that he could let himself relax while he lay on the brink of sleep in her arms.
Tomorrow would be a struggle, she was sure. The talk they needed to have would be hard, but maybe it wouldn't end unhappily. Maybe there was hope for them yet. Because she was sure of one thing, and one thing only, and that was their love for each other.
How could that not be more than enough?