This may not be the ending we deserve but it is the one we need right now. At least, I do. Until we can come to terms with her death, I hope that this story will become a safe haven for our broken hearts. We are all connected, by our sorrows if not by our happiness. Enjoy!
The sound of his own footsteps echoed in his ears as he ambled over to the piano. The hall was as silent, with the noise of the chatter dying down with his appearance on the stage. He wished he could hear something other than the pounding of his heart in his chest.
'It sounds so unsure. Erratic and lost,' he thought as he took the seat. 'Heh. I am such a mess right now.'
His movements felt sluggish, as though he was wading through murky waters; from the flow of his fingers on the keys to the repeated motion of unbuttoning his coat. Like his body was catching up a minute too late with his mind.
His head dropped into his hands, with tears springing up at the corner of his eyes. "I can't do this. Not again."
Then came a sneeze, somewhere from the middle of the hall. "Achoo."
His head rose up with a snap at the familiar sound and his eyes searched desperately for the presence of his friends. His eyes lit up as he found them, and he took a deep breath, savoring the sudden relief.
'They're here!'
A warmth spread down from his chest to reach his stiff fingers and then came the rush of memories; the bright faces of the people who were always there to push him forward. From his childhood friends to his pesky aunt, from his childish apprentice to his passionate rivals.
'This is for them...for the people who brought these sounds back to life. For the people who filled my life with these vibrant colors. For...her.'
The beep of the machines faded into the background as the anesthesia took effect. Her eyes closed out of her own accord and even as she willed herself to stay awake, she could feel herself drifting into unconsciousness.
She had no idea of how much time had passed or even where she was. It was dark, gloomy and...terrifying.
'In the end, I'm all alone, aren't I?' she gulped down the sob that threatened to come out.
Then came the sound of a note; Like the first drop of rain that warned of a storm. A bright ball of yellow glided through the air, lifting the darkness and bursting her world with color.
Yellow, the color of loneliness.
She never knew that something that signified such a sad emotion could be so colorful. The sudden light was followed by the sound of the piano; A sound she recognized all too well.
'Is it Kousei?' she thought with a gasp.
Her surrounding that was once dark were now filled with colors; like the petals of cherry blossoms sailing through the air in Spring.
'His music is bursting with color!' she smiled but that smile lost its intensity as she felt emotions behind the notes. 'Bursting with such a mournful color.'
'It reached me, Kousei-kun,' she held back a sob as tears streamed down her face. 'I think I should fulfill my own promise now, ne?'
With that thought, she rubbed the tears out of her eyes and reached forward to join the boy she loved.
He leaned back in his seat, his head tilted upward to let the colors shine down on his face. Surrounded by a world of colors, he let the emotions lead his fingers and closed his eyes to relish the beauty of the music. The music that transcended mere words.
'Reach her!' he begged to the unknown force guiding the notes. 'Reach her.'
He opened his eyes to realize that he was somewhere far away from the stage. Far away from the audience. Far away from his friends. But none of that mattered because he was close. Close to the unpredictable girl who barged into his life and swept his heart away.
He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes and she turned to meet his gaze. No words were needed. Their eyes conveyed everything that words couldn't.
'I'm sorry I was late.'
He smiled. 'Idiot, you are here. That is all that matters.'
They let their music tell the truths they couldn't. The truths that were suppressed by lies and emotions that were cloaked by fake smiles.
'Just kick your illness to the curb. Like you always do.'
A sad smile was his only answer. It's as though she had come to accept her own death.
'Please, don't leave me.'
'You know I can't make that promise.'
'I will fall back if you are not there to hold me.'
'You will always have others to support you. People who love you as much as I do.'
'They're not you!'
.
.
.
'Don't forget me when I'm gone.'
'I...I won't forget you, even if I die.'
Her form was fading but she was a glowing with an efflorescence that was enough to make his whole world bright. A tear slid down from the corner of her eye and he knew that this would be 'goodbye.'
Even as her life was fading out before his own eyes, her soft smile gave him the strength to hold back the tears and continue playing. Just when he was feeling that he could no longer bear this heart-wrenching pain, she burst into a shower of petals; Like a fully-blossomed cherry tree stuck in a storm.
'No! Wait! I still have so much to tell you. So many things that I was afraid to tell. How much I...I...'
'I know.'
She tilted her head and lone tears slid down her cheek to land on the ocean of tears. With her golden hair gliding in the wind, the white dress sticking to her figure and her blue eyes glinting with unshed tears, she never looked more beautiful.
'Even if she knows, I have to say it', he decided. 'At least for myself, if not for her'.
"I Love You."
He was back on the stage and he knew that she was gone. Disappeared to some place far away from here. Where he could no longer reach her.
Even as his fingers hit the last keys, even as the last notes resonated in the air, he was numb to everything around him.
As the sensation returned to her body, she could feel her heartbeat slowing to a stop. With a jolt, she realized that she was dying; Her life was flickering like the dying flame of a candle.
'A flame burns brightest just before it burns out.'
"I Love You."
The words struck her right in the heart and she struggled to make her heart beat. At least until she got the chance to return the three words to him.
"Her heart rate is slowing down!" one of the doctors cried.
"Inject the adrenaline to the IV!" another shouted.
'I want to live,' she thought to herself. 'I want to live another day. I want to finish the caneles. I want to play the violin until my fingers sting. I want to take another stroll in the school during the night. I want to...I want to tell him that I've always loved him.'
She could feel the cloth beneath her getting soaked with her tears but she wished that she could experience all these simple things in life once again.
'I don't want to die!'
The stroll from the music hall to the hospital felt like a lifetime. He didn't wait for the results but he assumed that he could be excused this one time.
He stood in front of the door to her hospital room, hesitating to take the last step. The conversation he had with Watari eased his heart a bit but it didn't mean that he was not afraid that she might be in love with Watari.
He pushed open the door to find her resting peacefully on her bed, with her parents standing by her side. Sleeping peacefully, with not a care for the world, she looked like an angel who descended from the heavens;
'She seems so fragile...as though the slightest touch can make her shatter like glass.'
Her parents turned to face him at once and the relief he found in their eyes made his heart soar to the skies.
"The surgery was a success," her father said with a smile. "They said that it will take a few hours for her to wake up."
"She...she's cured?" He blurted out with hope filling his tone.
The gloom returned to their eyes. "No," her father sighed. "But in her current state, every extra second is valuable. The doctors said that a cure might be discovered in a few months. So…she has to live with this until then."
He gave a simple nod, with his head ducked into his chest. Had she been awake, she would have hit him for looking like he did.
'You are doing that thing again. Don't look so sad when you visit me!'
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see her father standing before him. "Um, Miyazono-san?"
"She wanted me to give you this letter in case something happened to her. But I think you deserve to read this." Her mother gave a nod to show that she agreed.
"Thanks," he said as he took the letter into his hands. He bowed to Kaori's parents and took one last glance at the sleeping girl before turning his back to them. He didn't believe he could control his emotions if she stayed here for any longer.
He stepped out of the hospital and made him way down the familiar road they always took. Pink Cherry Blossoms coated the dry roads and a gentle breeze flew to lift the petals into the air. The world seemed to be comforting him with a gentle embrace, giving him hope that not everything had to end as a tragedy.
He took a deep breath and prepared himself to read the letter. Knowing her, she would turn reading this simple letter into a roller coaster of emotions for him.
'Even when you are not here, how can you affect me so much? You are like the Spring Breeze; Sweeping me off my feet before comforting me with a soft caress.'
To Arima Kousei
It had one of her favorite cat stickers attached to it and he had to hold back a smile.
.
.
.
"And then...I told a lie. Miyazono Kaori likes Watari Ryota. That was the lie I told."
"WHAT!" he shouted, startling the black cat that was sleeping on the bench.
"Sorry," he said to the cat as he rubbed the back of his head. The cat meowed with a narrow-eyed gaze before disappearing into the bushes.
"She is in for a hell of trouble when I see her again."
'You lying, crazy and manipulative girl. Just when I think that I have you figured out, you show a new side and it leaves me breathless. You leave me to the dust and I am left watching your back as you run forward without a care. But that's who you are, aren't you? You are the girl I can't help but fall in love with.'
And then for the first time in years, he laughed with no worries weighing him down.
Author's Note: Just finished watching the anime and I am still struggling to cope with her death. I hope I can accept things the way they are after some time.
This is for the people who wish for a different scenario. A different ending, if you will. Remember, I share your pain. Whether there will be a next chapter or not will depend upon the response.
Thank you!
