Title: Words Left Unsaid
Author: Wil
Rating: G
Spoilers: Scene immediately following S7 BtVS "Chosen" ending
Summary: Faith reacts to the end of Sunnydale's existence, and what
she never got to say.
Author's Note: Just a scene that popped into my head and wouldn't
let go.
Words Left Unsaid
And once again the world is safe for the innocent, Faith thought as
they stood there looking at the remains of Sunnydale. Something
seemed wrong with it, almost too utopian for comfort. It could have
been that Faith wasn't exactly used to being on the good team, or
maybe it was the look of peace on Buffy's face.
Faith approached Buffy and placed a hand on the blonde's
shoulder, "Hey, B, you okay?"
"I think I am," She answered with a smile as she turned. "We're all
okay."
"Yeah, all of us," Faith mumbled softly. How could Buffy believe
such a huge lie? Anya wasn't okay, neither was Amanda, Molly, or
Spike. They were dead. That was as far from okay as you could get.
There were wounded, there was a big giant hole in more than just the
earth where Sunnydale once stood. Didn't she get that?
Faith'd been there, the second to last out of the cavern. She'd
waited for Buffy and Spike-but she knew Buffy would be the only one
coming out. The huge beacon of sunlight spewing from Spike's chest
was a big clue that he was staying until it all ended, but part of
her felt like she should have done something. Stayed, so he wouldn't
be alone. For a moment, Faith thought that's what Buffy would do.
Yet Buffy had leaped onto the top of the bus, even after Faith saw
the flames that had burned between their entwined hands. She'd heard
Buffy tell Spike she'd loved him, but the rumbling of the collapse
had drowned out everything afterward. How could you tell someone you
love them and let them die alone? Buffy didn't even seem upset.
Now, she was fine, apparently.
"Faith? Faith, we're going now," Xander's voice came from behind her
as she stood at the edge of the crater looking in. She'd been so
lost in thought that she hadn't realized Buffy and the others
wandered off.
Faith held her arms against her protectively, even as she felt the
presence beside her, "Just one more minute, Xand? I'm payin'
respects."
He nodded in understanding as he followed her line of sight, "Mind
if I pay too?"
Shaking her head she doesn't look away from the wreckage, and
swallows, "We're not, no matter what she says."
"Not what?" Xander asks looking completely lost as he glanced at
Faith.
"We're not all okay," She elaborated finally turning to address
him, "I'm sorry it wasn't me."
"You're sorry that you didn't die in that cesspool?" Xander looked
at the dark-haired slayer as intensely as his single eye would
allow, "You fought and you survived, Faith. That's not something you
should ever feel sorry for."
"But what if I could have saved Anya? What if I could have saved any
of them?"
"If you could have, you would have. Anya was on the opposite side of
the building. Spike was the only one who could wear that necklace
thing--- they all knew the odds when they went in."
"But they're still dead, Xander." Faith's eyes were glassy with the
threat of tears. She didn't care anymore who saw the vulnerability,
the weakness she always kept bottled up. "I've done horrible
things. I've killed people. I almost killed you once, and you're
telling me I should be a hero. But they were heros and they're still
dead!"
Xander reached out to take Faith's hand but she fell against him,
beating at his chest, "I should have died! I'm not a hero, I'm
disposable-I wanted to stay with them... I wanted to stay with him.
I loved him!"
"Shh-it's okay, Faith. It's okay to cry," he says holding her in his
arms and rocking with her, as he realized who she was sobbing over.
He held her as he cried too, the tears staining his cheek as he
mourned Anya's loss. He'd loved her, he always would no matter what
had happened between them--she'd been his girl--his amazing demon
girl.
"Please, don't tell Buffy," Faith begged trying to pull herself
together.
"I won't tell anyone if you don't," Xander whispered his
promise, "You and me, Faith, we can be not okay together."
~fin
Author: Wil
Rating: G
Spoilers: Scene immediately following S7 BtVS "Chosen" ending
Summary: Faith reacts to the end of Sunnydale's existence, and what
she never got to say.
Author's Note: Just a scene that popped into my head and wouldn't
let go.
Words Left Unsaid
And once again the world is safe for the innocent, Faith thought as
they stood there looking at the remains of Sunnydale. Something
seemed wrong with it, almost too utopian for comfort. It could have
been that Faith wasn't exactly used to being on the good team, or
maybe it was the look of peace on Buffy's face.
Faith approached Buffy and placed a hand on the blonde's
shoulder, "Hey, B, you okay?"
"I think I am," She answered with a smile as she turned. "We're all
okay."
"Yeah, all of us," Faith mumbled softly. How could Buffy believe
such a huge lie? Anya wasn't okay, neither was Amanda, Molly, or
Spike. They were dead. That was as far from okay as you could get.
There were wounded, there was a big giant hole in more than just the
earth where Sunnydale once stood. Didn't she get that?
Faith'd been there, the second to last out of the cavern. She'd
waited for Buffy and Spike-but she knew Buffy would be the only one
coming out. The huge beacon of sunlight spewing from Spike's chest
was a big clue that he was staying until it all ended, but part of
her felt like she should have done something. Stayed, so he wouldn't
be alone. For a moment, Faith thought that's what Buffy would do.
Yet Buffy had leaped onto the top of the bus, even after Faith saw
the flames that had burned between their entwined hands. She'd heard
Buffy tell Spike she'd loved him, but the rumbling of the collapse
had drowned out everything afterward. How could you tell someone you
love them and let them die alone? Buffy didn't even seem upset.
Now, she was fine, apparently.
"Faith? Faith, we're going now," Xander's voice came from behind her
as she stood at the edge of the crater looking in. She'd been so
lost in thought that she hadn't realized Buffy and the others
wandered off.
Faith held her arms against her protectively, even as she felt the
presence beside her, "Just one more minute, Xand? I'm payin'
respects."
He nodded in understanding as he followed her line of sight, "Mind
if I pay too?"
Shaking her head she doesn't look away from the wreckage, and
swallows, "We're not, no matter what she says."
"Not what?" Xander asks looking completely lost as he glanced at
Faith.
"We're not all okay," She elaborated finally turning to address
him, "I'm sorry it wasn't me."
"You're sorry that you didn't die in that cesspool?" Xander looked
at the dark-haired slayer as intensely as his single eye would
allow, "You fought and you survived, Faith. That's not something you
should ever feel sorry for."
"But what if I could have saved Anya? What if I could have saved any
of them?"
"If you could have, you would have. Anya was on the opposite side of
the building. Spike was the only one who could wear that necklace
thing--- they all knew the odds when they went in."
"But they're still dead, Xander." Faith's eyes were glassy with the
threat of tears. She didn't care anymore who saw the vulnerability,
the weakness she always kept bottled up. "I've done horrible
things. I've killed people. I almost killed you once, and you're
telling me I should be a hero. But they were heros and they're still
dead!"
Xander reached out to take Faith's hand but she fell against him,
beating at his chest, "I should have died! I'm not a hero, I'm
disposable-I wanted to stay with them... I wanted to stay with him.
I loved him!"
"Shh-it's okay, Faith. It's okay to cry," he says holding her in his
arms and rocking with her, as he realized who she was sobbing over.
He held her as he cried too, the tears staining his cheek as he
mourned Anya's loss. He'd loved her, he always would no matter what
had happened between them--she'd been his girl--his amazing demon
girl.
"Please, don't tell Buffy," Faith begged trying to pull herself
together.
"I won't tell anyone if you don't," Xander whispered his
promise, "You and me, Faith, we can be not okay together."
~fin