Author's Note: It has been entirely too long since I have written for these two. My sincere apologies. Please know that it wasn't on purpose in the slightest. I think anyone who's kept up with the show at all knows full well how uninspiring it has been lately. Hope seems to be calling from around the corner, but for now I'm not holding my breath just yet.
In any case, here's hoping I haven't gotten too rusty when it comes to writing them. As of right now, this stands to be a story told in three parts. It started out as one, but then it ran away from me. Any mistakes found are of course my own. Thanks for reading!
A clearly emotional, mussed up Rayna is not what Scarlett expects when she opens the door. Seeing the red head, eyes clearly puffy from crying and bouncing back and forth on her heels, she finds herself at a loss for words. It's not the first time she's opened the door to see her, but today of all days makes the instance seem odd. "Shouldn't you be…you know, getting ready? Holed up in a hotel room somewhere, pampering yourself for—"
"Is Deacon here? I need to talk to him."
Scarlett opens her mouth, fully prepared to send her away, when suddenly everything clicks into place. Despite the evidence of tears, there is a nervous smile on Rayna's face and an energy that Scarlett hasn't felt around her in a long time. When Rayna pulls her hand from her pocket to rub her arms in the cold, she can't help but notice she's not wearing a ring. There is a sense of relief—perhaps, finally, her uncle and the only woman he's ever loved can finally work this mess out—but it's met with a bittersweet feeling, because now it may be too late. "Why don't you come in? I'll make some coffee."
Rayna follows her inside, relieved to be out of the elements. She sees Deacon's bedroom door closed, pointing towards it. "He's sleeping?"
Scarlett moves around the kitchen, preparing the coffee, and she cranes her head over her shoulder to reply. "He's not feelin' too well," she replies, hoping Rayna will leave it at that. As much as she deserves to know, if for no other reason than being the mother of his child, she knows it's not her story to tell.
The women are quiet as the coffee brews, Scarlett tidying up the dishes in the sink and Rayna staring at her phone. Since speeding away from Luke's place, he hasn't called or sent a text like she thought he might, but even if he had she knows it wouldn't change her mind. Still, she knows Bucky will have to be informed, if he hasn't been already. In a few hours, the paparazzi will catch the news too, and she'll have to write some sort of statement, but for now all she wants is to feel like the world will be normal again.
"Okay, I'm sorry, I have to ask," Scarlett says, breaking her from her thoughts. She places a mug before her at the kitchen table before sitting down across from her with one of her own. "Actually, I don't. But Rayna…do you wanna talk about the giant elephant in the room, or am I supposed to act like it doesn't exist?"
Rayna laughs before bringing the mug to her lips. She drinks slowly, both to relish the warmth and to also give herself a chance to collect her thoughts. The entire drive over she'd debated going elsewhere, but in reality Deacon's was the only place she wanted to be. "You mean the fact I'm here and not getting ready for a wedding with hundreds of guests?"
Scarlett shrugs, appreciating her head on approach. "Yeah. I guess."
"Well, I suppose you'll hear it eventually…" Rayna sets her mug down, rubbing her hands over her face. The exhaustion is catching up with her, but she knows sleep is a long way off. "I might have just come from Luke's, where I drove to call off the wedding. I came here because—"
"Because you love Deacon."
"I came here for a lot of reasons, Scarlett. But yes, I came here because that's one of 'em."
Scarlett is quiet for a few moments, her eyes widening at hearing Rayna finally admit what she's long suspected. "Wow."
Mistaking her silence for anger, Rayna launches into an explanation. "I don't expect anything to happen, I need for you to know that. I just wanted to ask him if I could—" she stops upon seeing Scarlett fail at stifling a laugh.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't think that I—" Scarlett pauses, trying her best to regain composure. "Anyone ever tell you that y'all have terrible timing?"
"Multiple times, yes. But why are you saying that now?"
It's only now that she realizes her mistake. "No reason. Just that when the tabloids get wind of this, y'all are all in for a world of drama. You really wanna drag him through that again?"
Rayna shakes her head. "I don't want to drag any of us through that again. I'm not expectin' some big, romantic reunion. And I like that you're protective of him. I do. The rest is something I'd rather save for him."
Scarlett studies the expression on Rayna's face; up close, the circles under her eyes are more noticeable, and she knows Rayna has to be tired. "I know this is a pretty stupid question for someone who just called off their engagement, but is everything all right?"
It's not the first time a question such as that has been asked recently, and she knows without a doubt it won't be the last. Rayna shrugs her shoulders and sighs. "Nothin' I can't handle."
Scarlett finishes her coffee and takes the mug to the sink. "I don't wanna be rude, but I have a feelin' I won't be needed in this next conversation. And well, I have a friend that needs me right about now. So-"
"Thanks, Scarlett. I appreciate the help."
The house is silent a few moments later when she leaves. Rayna stares around the kitchen and realizes how long it's been since she's been in this place by herself. Granted, Deacon is a few rooms over and sleeping, but there's something about it that she finds a little unsettling. As much as she wants him to just wake up so they can talk, she also wants to prepare herself for the moment when the conversation comes as much as she can. She pours herself another coffee, wandering into the living room and settling on the sofa with a guitar magazine she finds open on the table. She doesn't have to wait long, because a couple of minutes later she turns her head at the sound of his voice.
"Hey Scar, I was thinkin', maybe we should go out for dinner tonight. Hit up Jack's or that-" Deacon stops halfway through the room, clearly startled by Rayna being there. "Ray," Deacon breathes her name, blinking a few times and shaking his head, like he can't make it make sense. "What are you doin' here?"
Rayna sits up straighter, flipping the magazine back to the page where she found it as she sets in on the table. His disheveled appearance, hair askew and clothes rumpled, does something to her-it always has-and she has to remind herself to keep a clear head. "I think you might wanna sit down for this conversation, Deacon. Come on, sit."
"Is it Maddie? What's happened? If she's hurt, we need to-"
"Maddie's fine," Rayna insists, patting the couch cushion next to her. "I've just got some things I'd rather you hear from me and not some trashy tabloid magazine."
Deacon does as she asks, sitting on the couch, and it's then that it clicks for him. "Aren't you supposed to be preppin' yourself for the wedding? It's all anyone seems to wanna talk about anymore. Turned on the local news earlier, and even they were going over the lavish plans some source had given 'em. Luke won't be too happy if he finds out you're here."
Had it been any other time she would have made a comment about how strange it was that he'd even watched the news at all, because it just didn't seem like something he'd do, but she needed to get the words out before she lost her nerve. "He's not happy with me at the moment anyhow, so it really doesn't matter. The wedding's not happening, Deacon. I called it off."
"You called it off?" Deacon asks, the words sounding so strange even as he says them. He looks at her hands, almost for confirmation, and is still somehow relieved to see that she's not wearing a ring at all. He may have been feeling weak before-the trip to the hospital, the countless tests, and Scarlett's worrying took their toll on him-but seeing Rayna nod her head yes undoes him in a different way. "I am so sorry."
Rayna laughs, surprised when she feels a tear slipping down her cheek. "You know, if you were anyone else, I really wouldn't believe you."
"Well, I am. I mean, I haven't exactly made it a secret how I feel about this whole mess, but as long as you're happy, that's what most important to me. I just haven't done a very good job of showin' that lately, have I?"
"It's okay, really. To tell you the truth, I've been doing some thinking. I haven't had much time to do that lately, but when I have, it's made me realize some things. Some things I probably should've realized a long time ago." Rayna says the words, nodding as she says them, because for once she's sure of the direction she's taking.
"Why'd you show up here, Ray?" Deacon asks, deciding not to dance around it anymore. As happy as he wants to be at what he thinks it might mean, a part of him is still reminded of the times he's poured his heart out to her, only for her to rip it to shreds. He wants to be angry, to tell her that it's too late, but he can't. He remembers the diagnosis the doctor gave him just hours before, how they had told him in no uncertain terms that while they weren't entirely certain, his outlook wasn't too good. That Rayna would show up that same day, potentially offering him exactly what he's been waiting for all along, almost feels like a cruel twist of fate, and yet he wants nothing more than to seize whatever chance of happiness he has left.
She breathes in deep, knowing this isn't the only conversation they'll have on the topic, but also knowing that they need to start somewhere. "I couldn't do it. I started thinking about my future, my kids' future, what all of our lives would be like. And I had myself convinced, you know? I talked myself into thinking the life with him was what I wanted. But I realized that it's just not." She shakes her head, pausing to wipe away the tears pooling in her eyes. When she turns her head to face him, his gaze is so focused on her that she wants to look away, but she can't. The next part is something she needs for him to understand. "I don't have it all figured out yet. I've spent so long being attached to another person, that it'd probably be a little ridiculous if I did. But what I know for sure is that I can't do to him what I did to Teddy."
"And what's that?" Deacon asks. He bites his tongue, afraid that he's pushing her too much this time, while simultaneously wanting to push just a bit more.
"I can't pretend," Rayna says it as if it's the most simple thing in the world, and it makes her feel freer than she has in a long time. "I can't pretend that I'm happy, stuff myself into some kind of mold, and go on hoping the moment will come when the happiness is actually real. It's not what I want anymore."
He releases the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, fully aware that they're on shaky ground. "Then what do you want?"
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," Rayna replies. She smiles, resisting the urge to reach out for his hand, because she knows she needs to be level headed in order for this to work, and she gets the feeling that touching him would decrease the chances of that happening. "Deacon, I want this to work. And maybe I don't deserve it, but after everything that's happened, everything I've been putting myself and the girls through for over a year now, I just need a little time."
It's now that guilt starts pricking at his conscience; the doctor used the word cancer as a very high possibility, and he knows he should tell her. Still, the last thing he wants to do, especially now, is give her any chance to worry without knowing for sure. "I've waited this long, so I can wait longer, if it's what you need."
"I just want to do what's best for me. Which brings me to my next point. I was kind of hoping I could ask you for a favor. Maybe I don't deserve it, but-"
"I meant what I said, Ray. Whatever you need, if it's somethin' I can help with, I will."
"Thank you. It probably goes without saying, but once TMZ or whoever else catches wind of what's happened, it's gonna be crazy. Tandy's going to be in town for a little while, so she can hold down the fort with the girls. Or I can bring them with me. Either way, I just feel like I need to get out of dodge for a bit. I'd hate to impose, but if there was any way I could stay at the cabin for a few days, I'd appreciate it."
Deacon nods, surprised that he hadn't thought of it before she had. "Yeah, of course. Let me get you a key." He shuffles into the other room, grabbing a silver key on an old key chain. He hands it to her, making a mental note to a local contact to have the place cleaned up by the time she gets there-not bottles this time, but dust and cobwebs, because it's been a while since he's made the trip up himself. He walks her to the door, and they hug a few moments longer than normal, neither wanting to break apart. When they do, he hold the door open for her, watching as she leaves. "You gonna be okay?" he asks, kicking himself because he knows if she was aware of what happened with him she'd be asking him the exact same thing.
Rayna turns his way, putting the key in her pocket for safe keeping. "I don't know," she says, honest for what feels like the first time in a long time. "But I sure hope so."