A Christmas Carol - Sasuke Edition!
Disclaimer: Which one of you is the idiot who thinks I own Naruto?
Warning: Cursing due to a very Grinch-like Sasuke
Sasuke POV:
I hate Christmas. Well, I don't particularly hate it, but it pretty pointless. Why celebrate the birth of someone no one knows who existed? It's crazy! I believe in God, don't get me wrong. Hm...now that I think about it, it's not the baby Jesus story either! It's all this good will and spirit of the season mess. Yes, because every soul on earth should be sweet to everyone on Christmas. I ravage Naruto everyday and he still loves me.
...That is, after he lets me back into the bed after a week on the couch.
There was knock on the door and Naruto ran forward to open it interrupting my monologue. Sakura and Kiba all walked in, shouting a bunch of " Merry Christmas Eve!"s and I just about flipped a table. Merry Christmas Eve? That's like saying, " Happy Day Before Valentine's day!" and expecting to be kissed or something.
" Sasuke! Quit frowning so much! You're face will get stuck that way teme!" I eyed him with a slight glare and smile at him. Naruto's cheery attitude was just abut the only thing I enjoyed about the Christmas season.
He was just so stupidly cute when he dragged me Christmas shopping. Even if he did force a pair of reindeer antlers on me every year.
" Sasuke-kun!" Sakura smiled at me and held out the antlers, a evil glint flickering in her eyes.
"...No."
" Ah come on Sasuke!" Kiba slung an arm around me, ignoring the dangerous growl I had emitted. " I'm gonna be a reindeer too! You're not alone!"
" You're practically a dog Inuzuka," I snapped. " Of course you'd be okay with it. However, I am an Uchiha. I'm too reserved to actually wear something that stupid."
Crap. I winced and saw Naruto's teary eyes staring at me, the big blue orbs looking like an ocean over sea level.
" S-sasuke? Y-you never liked it when we-we would always go out and wear Christmas costumes?"
The hurt in his voice nearly broke my heart and I jumped up grabbing his shoulders.
" N-no! I didn't mean stupid! I meant...stupendous! Yeah! That's it! I uh, I'm really excited! Come on dobe, don't cry."
Naruto then broke into a smile and nodded, quickly pecking me on the lips before rushing upstairs. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, only to be interrupted by clapping.
" Bra-vo Sasuke," Kiba said. " Way to save your ass from being dumped."
" Shut up you dog," I snapped. " Naruto wouldn't dump me for the world."
" Wanna bet?" he smirked.
I grabbed his shirt, bringing his face close to mine. " You had your chance dog boy. Naruto's with me now, not you."
" Jeez, I was only kidding Uchiha! I'm not that territorial!" Kiba said frowning.
" Ahem!" Sakura said. " Sasuke, could you please try to refrain from killing people before Christmas?"
" Why? people always do bad things before Christmas, me killing Kiba will add to the list."
Sakura marched forward and separated us, staring us down with her dangerous green eyes before shoving a pair of antlers on both our heads.
" I call Rudolph!" Kiba said quickly. He ran upstairs and I followed, since I didn't trust him alone with my treasure. I followed and saw him run into the bathroom and borrow some red paint before running back down the stairs. I walked into the bathroom and saw the blonde already dressed in an elf costume. Naruto's tan, whisker scarred cheeks were painted the same cherry red that Kiba had just run off with. Quietly, I walked into the bathroom and hugged him from behind, smirking at the squeak he made as I rested my chin on his shoulder.
" Hmm, you're an adorable elf."
" I'm the elf that wanted to be a dentist teme," he said proudly. " You have nice teeth."
" Hn, it's only natural. But you Mr. Dentist Elf, have much nicer teeth."
Naruto turned around in my arms and pressed his lips to mine, lingering a moment before tapping a red painted finger to my nose.
" And you, Mr. Reindeer, must get ready for Mrs. Claus's sleigh ride to the mall. Now, go join Rudolph."
I smirked and kissed his forehead before going back down stairs. Yeah. Naruto was definitely the only good thing about the holidays.
" Oh Sasuke..."
And there was Sakura, Kiba standing next to her playing with the bell on his collar. And she had an extra. Stupid pink bitch.
" On Dasher and Dancer! Prancer and Vixen! On Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen!"
" Or, the little elf could get off my back!" I yelled.
Naruto pouted and resumed the chant, squeezing his legs around my torso and urging me to go faster. But no way in hell was I running through the packed mall, with a blonde elf on my back. That's like me hanging out with my brother and his groupies.
" Hey Sasuke! Little brother!"
This CANNOT be happening. Because surely enough, there was Itachi with his stupid group he called Akira or something. Not all of them were there, but he was there with Kisame, Yahiko, Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan.
" Yo ya fuckin' brat!" Hidan yelled. I didn't know Santa cursed, but it made me like the big guy more. " How's things with your boyfriend?"
" Shh!" Naruto said quickly, a finger to his lips. He didn't mind being open about our relationship, but for some odd reason, he thought I did, so he kept it quiet.
" Hidan. Santa doesn't curse. If you're gonna be him today, then don't curse." Yahiko sighed.
" Whatcha talkin bout bastard! This Santa's gonna talk however the hell he wants!" Hidan snapped.
Yahiko rolled his eyes and adjusted the red hat on his head. I felt a chill go throw me. Yahiko has like fifty piercings all over his body and he's posing as Santa today. How would you like to see a Santa with a bunch of piercings all over his body?
" Yo kid!" And then, my brother's closest friend Kisame just waltzed on up and patted my head. " Well Naruto, I can see that we elves trained you well on how to handle the reindeer."
" I'm not gonna be an elf Kisame! I'm going to be a dentist!" he exclaimed.
" A dentist."
" Of course! To be something other than what everyone expects! It's definitely gonna cause a bang," Deidara smirked. Sasori rolled his eyes, holding the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
Deidara. Always having to talk like he was a dynamite expert, which in fact he was, oddly enough. Sasori at that moment began to tell him that things shouldn't last for a few seconds and they should be timeless and I took that as a que to leave. We were starting to get a couple of stares.
" Uh, Naruto, we're going to try and find Sakura and Inuzuka at Hollister okay?" Naruto nodded and held on tighter as I slowly stepped away. I turned and tried to break into a run, but I would've fallen since he was clinging so tightly with his weight all on me.
" Sasuke!" Itachi yelled. He kept a complete poker face and held up a hand. " I love you, little brother."
Any color I had in my face drained and I heard Naruto burst into laughter. I then just dropped him on the floor and broke into a run. Itachi is the fucking creepiest bastard alive.
" I'm Youth!"
And awkward silence. TenTen and Neji tried to hide under their table in the cafe as Lee struck many poses on their table, yelling " I'm youth!". It was hilarious from my point of view. But seriously, was everyone stalking us today or something? Kiba had left and as soon as he'd disappeared that creepy ass artist, Sai, appeared from nowhere.
I kept what was mine close to me, an arm held protectively around him as I pretended to be watching Lee embarrass his friends. Sai didn't seem to be eye raping my dobe like he usually did. I mentally relaxed and focused on Lee, who'd just been told by the mall cop to sit down.
" You think we should save them?" Sakura asked.
" It's hilarious!" I said. " Why would you want to?"
" Sasuke!" Naruto playfully hit my shoulder. " That's not in the Christmas spirit!"
" So? It's funny," I said.
Naruto raised his eyebrows at me and crossed his arms expectantly. I returned his gaze for a moment before sighing and standing up to cross over to Lee and company.
" Thank you Sasuke! I knew you were a good person."
" Shut up usurakontachi." I fumed as I walked over and grabbed the freak, hissing at him to shutup and I would happily welcome him to the Christmas party my brother so conveniently decided to throw yesterday.
" You have a point Sasuke-san! I need to maintain my youthful aura for tonight!"
I blinked at him. He obviously misunderstood what I meant, but whatever. He was down and the mall cop was leaving, so I'm good. I reached in my wallet and pulled out one of my many credit cards.
" Here Lee, knock yourself out Christmas shopping. Nothing over 300 bucks."
He eyes grew even wider and he took it, thanking me a million times before leaving. Neji and TenTen sighed in relief, looking at me gratefully.
" Thanks, I was about to die form embarrassment," TenTen sighed.
" No problem. " I began to walk away when Neji stopped me.
" Hey, the party's still on right?" I blinked when he asked me that. People were looking forward to it?
" Uh, yeah," I said. " Come. Or don't. I don't care."
" Oh, I'll be there," he smirked. Great.
And finally! The dreadful Christmas Eve party where everyone will spontaneously combust as soon as my brother gets up to speak. Including me. I'll save my Naru-chan as quickly as possible from the Christmas disease.
Naruto pouted in our apartment as he changed his elf costume for a suit, something he refused to wear correctly. But hey, it was cool with me; I was wearing my jacket open too and I didn't bother about my hair since it kinda just stayed in place anyway. Naruto fumbled half-heartedly with his buttons. only making it halfway up his chest. I quickly lunged forward and button up any that weren't closed until it was at decent exposure.
" Sasukeee!" he whined. " I don't like stupid stuffy suits!"
" I don't them either Naru. But if you wear your shirt like that, that perv Orochimaru and his sidekick Kabuto are going to attack without mercy."
His eyes widened and he nodded quickly, clutching my arm and looking around. I hate deceiving him, but Orochimaru wasn't even coming, so that made this a bit better. We left our apartment and walked to my car, revving the engine so that we could go not even more than three blocks. Naruto said we should walk but look at me. I'm too sexy for my shorts. I'd get attacked by a bunch of Christmas obsessed girls with no boyfriends who'll be saying things like " You're on my wish list!" and " Can I be one of Santa's ho ho hoes?" insert wink here.
That's not a disgusting experience I want to introduce Naruto to.
We got to Itachi's huge ass mansion - a place where Naruto and I would be living this coming year due to a lost bet between him and Deidara- and luckily we were the first ones, excluding the decoraters. I walked out of the car, ignoring my brother's cries of my name and opened the door for Naruto. He pouted and thanked me, grumbling about how he was a man and could open the door on his own. I smiled a bit and rolled my eyes. He's was so immature it was cute.
" Uchiha fucking Sasuke!" Itachi bellowed. " You had better say hello!"
" I just saw you four hours ago!"
" It was a long four hours!" Itachi yelled.
" Hi Itachi!" Naruto said happily running towards the door.
" Oh, hello Naruto, Merry Christmas Eve," he replied smiling.
" You would be the one to say that," I snapped as I walked by him.
Itach then wrapped an arm around my shoulders and dragged me inside, waving an arm to the decorated interior. " Come on Sasuke! I know you're feeling the Christmas spirit!"
" I'm not feelin' it."
" Nonsense! Gaara-chan!"
...Gaara?
I stared in horror as the red head walked reluctantly down the stairs. He made his way to me and Itachi, dressed as Santa. He had the beard and everything.
It was like all hell broke loose.
" Say one word Uchiha and I'll kill you so fast Naruto won't have time to even mourn."
" Why?" I cried. Gaara was the only one who understood my disdain for Christmas, even if he himself enjoyed the holiday.
" Because, you need to get the Christmas spirit Sasuke," he said. " Every year, you give and receive, but that's not what Christmas is about. Christmas is the season-"
" I do not want this lecture." I threw Itachi's arm off me and walked in the direction of the kitchen, plopping down in a chair near the fresh baked cookies that obviously had no owner. Helping myself, I grabbed one, nibbling on the edge.
" Oh. My. God. You fag!"
I nearly choked on it and looked around angrily for the speaker. Yeah, I could accept being gay and everything, but calling me a fag is like signing your own death warrant.
I met the eyes of Konan who blinked in surprise when she saw me.
" O-oh. Sorry Sasuke, I didn't know it was you."
" So you call random people fags? It wasn't directed towards me?"
" Yeah, ever since I found out about Nagato and Yahiko and few years back. Best insult by far," she said. " Are you going eat that because every bite you took looks microscopic."
I looked at the unmarked cookie before answering. " Well, I obviously am going to eat it if I picked it up. But now that you mention it I don't want it."
" Emotional eater?"
" That's Naruto, not me."
Konan smirked slightly. " Then go give it to your brother since you share the same Uchiha genes."
I nodded and walked back to the foyer to find Naruto and Kiba wrestling on the floor. Some nerves snapped and I stormed over and jerked my boyfriend up away from the brunette.
" Sasuke! Come on! We were just playing!" he said defiantly.
" I don't mind you playing, just not with him," I said.
" Why? Because he's my ex-boyfriend?" Naruto snapped. " What? You don't trust me or something?"
Shino and Hinata who had came in with Kiba and were talking to Shikamaru and Ino stopped to stare at us, but I ignored them. I could hear a few whispers from my brother to Konan and Gaara, but I barely heard them.
" Naruto, of course I trust you! I just don't trust him!" I jabbed a finger in dog boy's direction.
" You trust Gaara and he's a closer friend than Kiba!"
" That's because Gaara didn't date you!"
" Oh! Christmas soap opera!" Itachi sang. " Konan get the cookies!"
I turned around and Itachi my worst death glare but he remained unfazed. His light heartedness of the situation pissed me off to no end.
" And if I did date Gaara would you hate him too? That's so stupid and selfish Sas-!"
" Shutup! Just shutup okay? Yeah, I don't like you hanging out with Kiba! I don't even like you hanging out with Gaara! I'd rather you hang out with Sakura or someone but she might convince you of some stupid thing about me! And then you'd have to turn to Sai and I sure as hell hate that bastard! So yeah, I don't like you hanging around with anyone other than me! I hate everything that you do with them, I hate that I let you do it, and I hate Christmas!"
" And now Youtube, you are witnessing Uchiha Sasuke, reincarnate of the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge combined into one. A young man with no sense of Christmas spirit and the worst boyfriend-"
" Shut the fuck up Itachi!"
He went silent, but I could tell he was silently laughing inside. I half expected Naruto to yell something back, but what I got shocked me to no end. He was staring at me like a lifeless robot, his eyes wide as his jaw slightly ajar, like he couldn't believe what just happened.
He then turned around and walked out the door. I expected Kiba to follow, but he did no such thing, sitting on the floor and watching me cautiously as if I would strike out and attack him. I slowly looked behind me but Gaara stood still too. He didn't look scared; just emotionless. When Naruto walked out the door, Sakura was just coming in, Sai, Kakashi -our old science teacher- and Iruka, a family friend of Naruto's, in tow.
She looked at me with worry, obviously catching the look on Naruto's face. " Sasuke, what happened?"
I sighed and shook my head. " I'm...I'm not participating in this party. I'm going upstairs."
This was officially the worst Christmas ever.
Sasuke...
Sasuke...
I stirred in Itachi's bed, groaning at whatever was calling me to shutup.
Uchiha Sasuke! Wake up or I'll kill you!
I shot awake and glared at...Moegi?
" Uh, Moegi? What are you doing here?"
" I'm the ghost of Christmas past! And I'm here to tell you how sucky your Christmases were!"
" Gee that makes me feel good, seriously Moegi, what are you doing-"
" Silence!" she then giggled and held up a video camera. She bounced over to me and pressed play.
" Sasuke! Come help with the tree!"
" No."
Younger Sasuke glared at his brother who smiled nicely and marched over to him, dragging him over to the tree.
" Aniki! I'm busy!"
" Doing what? Being a Grinch?"
" No, but I was watching the Grinch!"
" That, Uchiha Sasuke was your past!" Moegi exclaimed.
" I was seven! I wanted to watch the Grinch!"
" But you were acting like one too!" Moegi exclaimed. " Beware the Christmas present!"
She backed away slowly, running into the wall before yanking the door open and running out.
" H-hey."
I turned and looked at Udon.
" Udon? Moegi? Come on seriously? Who put you up to this?"
" I'm the Christmas present," he said in a calm voice, sniffing before continuing." You know that fight with Naruto you had?"
" How'd you-"
" I'm the Christmas present, I know stuff!" Udon said. " Anyway, he's crying, so don't be such a-"
" Wait. My Naruto...is crying...?"
Udon crossed his arms and nodded. " And Shikamaru comforted him enough to get him to come back inside. But he's still upset."
" Wait, has the party started?"
" No duh Sherlock. It started like two hours ago (sniff)."
I pondered the thought of my dobe, without a smile, hanging around his friends, but not as enthusiastically as before. I almost actually wanted him to be wrestling around with Kiba. Almost.
" Anyway! Note your wrongs! You have-"
" Psst! Kid, I'm not paying you to give a freaking speech! Come on!"
Udon jumped and ran for the door. " You've been warned!"
I shook my head and groaned with a facepalm. Itachi would be the only one to hire a group of kids to do this.
" Hey! If you don't go down there and make up with Naruto-niisan, I'm gonna punch you in the face! You readin' me Uchiha?"
" Oh dear God."
And the last of the little terrors, Konohamru, bounced on the bed and pushed me off roughly.
" I'm the ghost of Christmas future and if you don't get your sorry ass down there, you and Naruto ain't gonna have a future!" he yelled, kicking my sides.
" Hey! This is an expensive suit!" I snapped. I abruptly stood and grabbed the younger teen's arm. Seriosuly? Itachi hired a bunch of thirteen year olds to tell me what I did? As if I hadn't felt bad enough!
" Then get down there!" Konohamaru yelled. " Naruto's not gonna wait forever, and you just might get a chance to redeem yourself on Santa's nice list!"
" Pfft, I don't believe in Santa," I muttered.
A punch was served to my back with a string of profanities and why I should believe in Santa, but I ignored half of them.
I walked out the room, straightening my clothes and seeing Itachi with a camcorder.
" You bastard!" I yelled.
" Ah, ah, ah! I'm not the bastard here! It's all you little brother," he smirked behind the camera. " You're the one who upset your boyfriend!"
I frowned and turned away, muttering under my breath as Itachi and the three "ghosts" followed me. I headed straight for the ballroom and saw people turned towards me, a pathway clear from the entrance to the center. I blinked and turned around to find Itachi gone, but his little mischief makers still there.
" Come on Sasuke! Everyone's waiting!" Konohamaru exclaimed.
" Oi, how much is the guy paying you guys?"
" Hundred fifty, maybe more depending on how things work out," Udon replied.
" And a trip to Europe!" Moegi added.
Itachi...always going to such extreme lengths.
" But we're not doing this just for the money," Konohamaru said quickly. " Sakura-neesan called and I sincerely wanted to punch your lights out after hearing about Naruto-nii."
" Right! You can't hurt the boss!" Moegi added.
By now, I was walking down the aisle with people bordered around me. Konohamaru and the others drifted off of me, winking as I made my way to the center. And there was Itachi in front of me with Kiba and Gaara, our oh so jolly Santa.
" You two," I began. " Uh, I didn't mean it...what I said before."
Kiba stuffed his hands in his pockets. " It's not like I still like Naruto you bastard. I like someone else for your information."
I didn't show any surprise -though I definitely felt it-, but I let the aura of my relief flow out as I held out a hand, diverting my gaze.
" Ahem?" Kiba looked at me expectantly.
" What?"
" Aren't you gonna say sorry?" he asked.
" Hmph! As if. Uchihas don't apologize. And if I am, then there's only one person I will apologize to."
Kiba stared at me and then clapped me on the back, a broad grin adorning his face.
" Great! That would've been a little awkward!"
" Aw, little brother, couldn't you have maybe apologized for the camera?"
" Shutup! You of all people should know Uchihas don't apologize! Remember when you tried to get me in your little Akira group?"
" Akatsuki! And you wanted to be in that with your little groupies to! Taka! What kinda name is that?"
" At least I didn't look like gang with stupid coats with red clouds!"
" But you were the one with an ass bow!"
" ...Well you have a ponytail!"
" Touche little brother...touche..." he said and pointed at Gaara. I stepped over to him and he held up a hand.
" Just shake it Uchiha and I'll be fine."
I smiled slight -just a slight curve of the lip- and took it, glad that he wasn't as complicated.
" And last but not least! We have our special little blonde!"
I half expected Naruto. Instead, I got Deidara.
" Yo kid! Here's the-where'd the idiot go?" he yelled. " Has anyone seen him?"
Murmurs ran through the watching crowd. Sakura ran in, clutching Naruto's jacket from earlier.
" I...had him...but then...he took off his...jacket and ran..." she panted. Sai walked up and offered her a glass of water.
" I could search for him. I think I have a pretty-"
" Oh hell no." Before I could, Gaara stalked up to him. " If anyone's looking it's me. I'm his best friend."
" Well I'm his ex-boyfriend! I should go!" Kiba exclaimed.
" I'm his closest girl friend!" Sakura interjected.
" I would volunteer, but it seems too troublesome," Shikamaru muttered. " And...I'm just really, really lazy."
" Maybe Hinata and I should go," Neji said. " We could create a larger search party."
" You make it sound like he got kidnapped!" Ino put in. " He's just somewhere around the mansion!"
" Have you seen this place? It goes on for acres! He could be anywhere!" TenTen exclaimed.
I watched them argue, tempted to formulate a plan and then leave, but their bickering was so damn annoying and loud.
" SHUTUP!" I yelled and it feel silent. Itachi, who'd been filiming the group of arguing people, turned the camera towards me.
" It's obvious where he is!" I exclaimed. I marched out the room and headed straight for the kitchen, returning later with a Naruto holding a bowl of ramen.
A silence followed for a few seconds before the room erupted into laughter and shouts.
" Of course!"
" Ramen!"
" Well, I feel stupid."
Naruto looked around, a slight confused look crossing his adorable face. I smiled and frowned just as quick.
" Hey Naruto," I said softly as they all were distracted. " Uh, sorry for being a Grinch."
Naruto grinned and said, " Oh Sasuke, that's sweet and everything, but if you weren't a Grinch, it'd be really creepy."
" So you don't mind that I hate Christmas?"
" Slow your roll teme, I didn't say that," he said quickly. " But could you tolerate it? I mean, you've got to like something about it right?"
I looked at him. He'd forgiven me so easily; was this what people called Christmas miracles? Probably not since Naruto's just that kind of person.
But getting to see him be excited for the season, having him nag me about putting up the tree, going Christmas shopping with everyone, I guess those could be the things I enjoyed about Christmas.
Everything else with all the giving and feelings and crap just about gets on my last fucking nerve.
" Yeah, I guess I could find something," I smirked. he gave me a bright smile and prepared to hug me, but he remembered his ramen and just left me hanging. God I hate that food so much.
" Aw! Wasn't that sweet? And that ends A Christmas Carol- Uchiha Sasuke edition! Be sure to subscribe to my channel, UchihasRule on Youtube!"
" Itachi!"
This brother of mine seriously needs to die in fucking hole. I don't care if it is Christmas, or if I get on the naughty list, he's dying.
Author's Note: Phahaha! This is so late! Day after Christmas I publish a story that takes place on Christmas Eve!
So yeah, I'm not sure if I conveyed ssuke's hatred of christmas elaborately enough, but oh well! I didn't exactly plan this, i had no internet at my aunt's house and I wanted to write Christmas thing, and look, I did. And the argument was...it wasn't even an idea. It just happened. But if you liked it then I won't object!
So moral of the story: If you hate Christmas, it's okay as long as you don't blow up and tell everyone. Otherwise those three kids form down the street will hunt you down by the orders of your brother and he'll record the WHOLE thing.
And I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa! If you celebrate something else then Happy/Merry that too! And have a spectacular New Years, but you know nothing much really happens that day, it's actually New Years Eve you should be excited about!
Review please!