Disclaimer: Once again, Jo I salute you and declare ownership of all characters and the land of Harry Potter yours (how generous of me I can hear you say)!
AN: I am a very naughty girl because I have 3 WIPs and I am throwing away my time writing one shots. Oh well….I haven't abandoned the others and Consequences is getting a total rewrite so please bear with me.
I am lying on the floor. My hair which is long and chestnut tonight is laid out behind my head like a train on a wedding dress. It's almost dark, the only light is coming from the candle that is dancing near my feet which are bare and cool. I am staring up at the ceiling which in this light appears as an endless void but I am looking in that direction, I hear a sigh beside me and a gentle voice.
'This is nice….lying here.'
Although the sound of his voice breaks the silence, it doesn't break the aura of peace that seems to have descended over us both. He is lying next to me, even though I can't see him and we are not touching I can feel the warmth radiating from his body, I can hear as he takes slow, relaxed breaths. Except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathes he has not moved for ten minutes. The situation feels incredibly intimate, I wonder vaguely why I don't feel uncomfortable.
'Mmmm, I always find it very relaxing.' I say in a low voice.
'Do you do this often?' I hear him ask, a tinge of amusement in his voice.
'It's something that I've done since I was a teenager but I've found myself doing it with increasing frequency lately.' I reply before adding, 'I've never had company before though, it's different, sharing a moment of total relaxation with some one you trust.'
I sense his head turning slightly toward me. 'Trust.' he says, I'm not sure if it's a question or a statement.
'Yes.' I pause before tilting my head to meet his gaze, 'why did you pick up on that word?' I ask curiously.
He seems to ponder the question for several moments while I watch the soft, dancing glow of the candle caress his face. 'I'm not sure, I would have expected you to say some one who is a friend or one you whose company you enjoy or perhaps one you feel comfortable with.'
'All those things can form part of trust I suppose. It's no trivial a concept though is it?'
'I think I know what you mean but please go on.' he invites.
I feel our bubble of intimacy growing smaller as I prepare to explain, I turn on my side and place one beneath my head and the other on the floor between us. I watch as his body mirrors mine although he places his head on his fingers as the back of his hand acts as a stand, lifting his head slightly from the floor and lays the other hand, fingers slightly curled not too far from my own. Our faces are no more than half a foot apart and I feel it would be undignified to speak any louder than a whisper.
'I think that trust has got to be the framework for any rewarding relationship, whether that be as friends, lovers or a working partnership.'
'You can have those things without trust though.' he states.
'Yes you can,' I reply, 'but are they not so much more rewarding where trust exists? For example in friendship you could talk about anything, reveal your inner most secrets if you wanted to and know that you would not be judged, as lovers know unquestionably that you are loved, that there are certain acts that only the two of you share and as working partners know that the other person will always be there to back you up. If you have trust in friendship Remus, automatically you have the three things that you gave me earlier. To trust another person and to be trusted in return surely has to be one of life's greatest gifts.'
We are silent for a moment, maintaining eye contact.
'And you trust me?' he asks tentatively.
'Yes Remus, I do.' I reply simply before rolling on my back, with my arms laid out slightly from my sides to resume staring at the ceiling, after a long moment I can hear him doing the same beside me.
I find myself wondering if he is going to return the sentiment when I feel his little finger curl around mine, finger by finger we move our hands across until they are completely entwined and I know that this is his way of saying that he trusts me too and it fills my heart with pride. I don't think that it takes a great deal of perception to know that Remus Lupin has had mixed experiences with trust, I decide not to question him just yet.
'Have there been many people in whom you have placed trust Nymphadora?' he asks.
Ignoring the use of my first name because I have become accustomed to hearing it slip from between his lips, I reply 'Quite the opposite, trusting does not come easily to me, I suppose right now you could limit the list to Dumbledore, Molly and Arthur, Mad Eye, Sirius and yourself.'
'A list not dissimilar from my own, why do you suppose it is that we are so guarded when deciding in whom to place our trust?' the second affirmation that he does in fact trust me causes another jolt from within, I briefly question why it is that it means so much to me that this man holds his trust in me.
'Probably both for slightly different reasons although the cause of each lies at Voldemort's feet. I was a young girl during the height of the last war and taught from a very early age not to trust by parents who had learned the hard way.' I hesitate now because I do not want to trivialise the losses that he has endured through out his life but I decided to continue, 'The same way that you did, through breach of trust and loss.'
I turn my body to face his once again so that I can gauge his reaction, I watch as he brings his gaze to meet mine and his question surprises me. 'Does it bother you that you find it so difficult to trust, to get close to some one?'
'No Remus, not really.' I reply honestly. He turns the rest of his body towards mine, wordlessly inviting me to continue. 'When I do trust,' I whisper, removing my hand from his grasp to brush a strand of hair away from his face before placing my hand boldly on the side of his face, 'I know without question that I have found some one really special.'
He fixes me with a piecing gaze, looking deep into my eyes whist he removes my hand from his face and presses it to his lips firmly, 'You are absolutely right Nymphadora,' he murmurs into the back of my hand, 'I have never looked at it that way before, thank you.'
The expression on is face is one as though I have just given him the greatest gift. We settle back down though we remain facing each other with foreheads touching, he has not yet left go of my hand and he settles them both between our bodies in line with our chins, my heart is racing and I don't really know why.
I close my eyes and when I feel his other hand reach over to gently stroke my hair I let out a shaky breath, this man is moving me in ways I have never before known.
I feel like the very axis of my life has begun to tilt and I am content to let it happen because I trust him. When the hand moves down to trace the length of my jaw and down the side of my neck I am unable to stop the quickening of my breathing, it will be evident to him just how much his touch is affecting me but it feels too good to worry about that.
I concentrate on the sensation of the tips of his fingers softly grazing my skin, around the base of my neck, reaching out to the tip of one shoulder and then in a downward arc across to the other before travelling slowly down my arm to my elbow where it takes a detour across the slightly expose flesh on my stomach as I suck in air at the electric shock that courses through my body, my skin feels alive as I tingle from head to toe.
I open my eyes and bring them up to meet his, the hand stills along with time as we search each others eyes in silent communication, then his hand comes to life again as he raises it to cup my cheek to pull me forward until soft lips meet mine in the most sensual of kisses.
We lie there gently exploring with lips and hands as I feel a fire begin to burn deep within my soul, I barely notice the candle expire leaving us with nothing but touch with which to continue on this most sensual of journeys.
AN: I didn't want to take this too far because I think it would have taken the simplicity of the situation away. If any one is interested in this being carried on I might consider writing a second chapter but I don't want to get into any of the 'too poor, too old' stuff with this one because there is entirely too much of it out there.
As always reviews are very much appreciated even if it's to tell me how corny and contrived you thought this little situation (which is a concern of mine).
Oh and thanks for reading
